canon = GTA5

[yee_yee]

What you need to do is get focused. I'm talking about stock shakedowns and heavy artillery, and you still stuck on the same broke-down, cracked-out, B-list thugging I already left behind. We need to graduate out this groupon class, homie. And we need to work on our connects.

A good crew wouldn't hurt neither.

No, I don't mean nothing by that.

You keep running your mouth like that, you gonna find yourself getting real familiar with the topography of this floor, dog. Get your shit straight. Time is money, and you be spending way too much of mine.

Comments

[afterlaborday]

I notice your complaining got you thrown into memes. Some of them awkward. Congratulations.

[Has learned the hard way not to mess with muns]

[yee_yee]

I'm not complaining, I'm just laying it out honestly. Fuck it.

What memes? What the hell are you talking about?

[afterlaborday]

Sounded like complaining to me.

[Laughs a bit] Oh you'll figure it out, if you're allowed to break the fourth wall some more.

[yee_yee]

I don't wanna figure it out, I want you to tell me. Fuck the fourth wall, the fifth wall, and the seventy-sixth wall too. I ain't concerned with no wall, dog.

[afterlaborday]

[Endlessly amused]

Basically, you've gotten yourself stuck in someone's head, right? That means they can sort of throw you into unusual situations. In the case of a meme, it's a sort of... situational game, shall we say? Ninety-percent of the time, you'll be embarrassed.

hello friend i'm sorry

[highflyin]

You're probably expecting too much from a person, likely a woman, in their early to mid 20's who spends all of their time in bed surfing the net from one of those laptop things. Just relax, go with the flow, you'll end up somewhere decent enough.

hello friend muah!

[yee_yee]

... Damn, T. When you on point, you on point. But I ain't trying to relax. The way I see it, the moment you let your motherfucking guard down, somebody's always gonna come around trying to tell you where to go next. I ain't about that life no more, dog.

smooches

[highflyin]

No, no, see, you go where they want, and then you fuck shit up. It's what I'm doing.

[ Except not really but shhh let him think that. ]

[yee_yee]

[ Hey, that pretty red dress is serious business! ]

Oh, so you on some Trojan horse shit? Aiight, aiight, I'm with you. What you got going on, then?

[killerkungfuwolfbitch]

OOH~ Sounds like someone's got a few fun things in mind!

Care to elaborate?

[yee_yee]

Shit, I'm liking your proactive attitude. We be needing somebody like you on the crew. How you feel about mansions in the hills and a mattress stuffed with hundred dollar bills? Cause that's all I ever got in mind.

[killerkungfuwolfbitch]

A "crew", eh? That does sound like fun. Can't say I've ever done the group thing before, but I'm totally down for being a team player. The more, the merrier, right? My last therapist kept saying that I should meet new and supportive people, anyway- so I guess this ought to do the trick.

[This isn't what he meant, Luna]

Plus- I just got this KILLER deal on balaclavas online the other day. It was buy one, get one- so I just HAD to nab this one with the cutest little rabbit ears at the top!

[yee_yee]

[ Ah, but this is just his brand of crazy. He only looks perplexed for about a half a nanosecond. ]

Good taste and business savvy. I don't know about no rabbit ears, but on you? Shit, I could see you rocking a hefty bag and some hair rollers, for real.

What's your biggest game, chief? Let me guess: extortion? Fraud? You one of them high-profile anonymous cyber militia sisters?

[theotherstuff]

If these clowns had the slightest capability of getting their shit straight they wouldn't be spending so much time playing pretend on the internet. It's fucking ridiculous.

feeling like the most spoiled franklin ever

[yee_yee]

Shit. For sure, homie.

[ Fist-bump, dog. This is a family affair now. ]

Looks like it's left to us to put two and two together. We gotta make ourselves all over again. Our colorful résumés don't count for shit out here.

it comes with being the only franklin i'm pretty sure

[theotherstuff]

[ Awkward middle-aged white guy fist tap... No he didn't try to go for a handshake first what are you taking about that's just crazy shhhh ]

Well the whole "clean slate" thing ain't exactly new to me. Then again, this is a pretty different fuckin' situation. Thinking about it too long still makes my head spin.

hopefully my gardener doesn't find those OTHER franklins...

[yee_yee]

[ Maybe next time we can just duet old Genesis songs. Keep the old man in his element. ]

Well shake off that vertigo, man, we got shit to do. Or, don't tell me. I ain't cutting into some lounging by the pool game, am I?

[damnsel]

Perhaps the two of you could cooperate to find a nice home? That would likely please both parties.

[ And then neither of you have to yell at one another in words that don't exist where he comes from. But it's not hard to read intent. ]

omg anduiiiiiiin <3

[yee_yee]

It takes two to tango, my man. One party slouching is enough to tear the whole game down. I wish diplomacy was on the menu.

yes! i thought it'd be funny haha <3

[damnsel]

Diplomacy can almost always be on the menu, when you wish for it to be. Maybe encouragement would be better than threats?

plus anduin really needs more crazy friends amirite

[yee_yee]

Man, I already told you. Encouragement ain't the kind of motivation this motherfucker needs.

[ Let's just take a deep breath here. ]

... But you're right that I don't gotta be stressing unnecessarily. Problem is, I don't even know where to begin on this bullshit.

[badnewsboy]

I get it!

This is like the film, Those Who Are Fast and Also Furious? That's it, yes? Ready the get away car!

[yee_yee]

Aw shit, homie, now you talking my language. Except this ain't no goddamn movie. Find us a whip, I'll show you how the real gangsters roll.

[badnewsboy]

Er—yes, real gangsters. I'm quite glad that we've found a generally acceptable method of communication.

A whip sounds a tad violent ...

[yee_yee]

It don't have to be. I mean, ideally it ain't, but if you want a getaway driver, you gotta steel yourself for some heat, dog.