Canon is Welcome to Night Vale; voicetest!

[imperfectscientist]

Hello. My name is Carlos.

Most people refer to me as Carlos the Scientist, nowadays, since that's my profession. It's very odd, being somewhere new and strange again. But it's also very exciting! It's been over a year since I was somewhere this new and thrilling, and now I consider that place home. But it's a little concerning, since I didn't intend to come here, and I'm not sure if there's anyone I know here.

Not that I knew exactly what I was getting into coming to Night Vale, but I at least had some idea that things weren't going to be the way I was used to them. I had some time to prepare myself, even if my preparations were woefully inaccurate.

Sorry, I'm getting off track. Public speaking isn't exactly my thing. I'm a scientist. Cecil, that is, my boyfriend, is a radio host, so he's infinitely more talented at this sort of thing than I am.

Ahem. Anyway, I feel it's my duty as scientist, and also a person who is currently curious and also very confused, to collect some data. And what better way then interviews? So, the first pressing question is our current location in space and time relative to the city of Night Vale. The second matter I'd like to discuss is that I've been starting to realize that my actions are not entirely under my control, which is disconcerting, to say the least. I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with the implications of that. Is anyone else experiencing that phenomena?

As a completely unrelated but very important addendum, has anyone seen my boyfriend? His name is Cecil Palmer. I'd really like to know if he is here, because if he isn't, I really need to try and get in touch with him and let him know I'm alright. He'd probably know where I am, too....

Thank you everyone! ...I really, really hope someone can hear me.

Comments

[voiceofthevale]

Carlos! This is Cecil, I'm here, and I'm definitely your boyfriend. Hello. [Cecil, breathe. Mellow.] To think we would run into each other in a place like this. [It must be fate.] Well, I can't claim to know the first thing about spatial physics (or much of anything, really), but I'm more than happy to help you out in any way I can! Let's make sense of this together, Carlos.

First, do you still have all of your limbs? Do you feel the lingering presence of demonic possession? Is your hair okay? [Priorities.]

[imperfectscientist]

Cecil! Well, this is a relief! I wasn't sure if you'd be here, but I'm very glad you are. [He shakes his head.] You know plenty of things, Cecil. I'm very grateful for your help.

Er. Yes, my limbs are attached. No, I don't think there was any demonic possession. Yes, Cecil, my hair is fine. How are you? Are you okay?

[voiceofthevale]

Yes! Both of us occupying the same point in time with minimal damage to either of our persons is a great thing indeed. [Beaming!] Great! What can I do? What mysteries should we explore?

[Cecil nods at each one, like marking things off a checklist.] Yes, yes, that's very good. You have to be prepared in the face of sudden spatial displacement. You never think it's going to happen to you, but when it does, then you'll be ready.

And, I'm fine! I am so fine. Better than fine, now that you're here, Carlos.

[imperfectscientist]

Well, have you spoken with anyone, besides me, since you've been here? I'm sure there are people here who have a better understanding of what's happening than I do.

Are you trying to say I shouldn't become a statistic? I'll try my best, but everyone is, for one reason or another.

That's good. I'm very happy to hear it. It sounds like spatial displacement can be a dangerous process.

[voiceofthevale]

As a matter of fact, I have! Do you remember Dana, or her double? Our old intern who was trapped in the dog park? She spoke to me! Here! Can you believe it? It's been so long since I'd last spoken to her, I'm so glad to finally hear that she's alright.

But other than that, I can't say I have. Have you?
Oh, dear Carlos, you could never be a statistic. You're far too singular for that. But it is best to keep basic safety protocol close to heart.

Whether its pteradons in the school gym or us trapped in this strange, bizarre middle ground, spatial displacement is no laughing matter. Unless we mistake pteradons for pteradacyls again, in which case, you are more than welcome to laugh.

[imperfectscientist]

Oh, of course I remember Dana! Really? That's wonderful! And were you able to speak without that weird interference you always seem to have, where she doesn't catch exactly what you say?

No, I haven't. But hopefully, I'll eventually be able to speak with someone who's been here longer than we have. Don't worry. Night Vale's kept my on my feet, and this place is no difference. Just because I haven't run into a Librarian or a Hooded Figure doesn't mean they aren't here.

The dinosaurs looked healthy, though, all things considered. They didn't have limbs they shouldn't and they weren't possessed by demons, although I guess it would be a little hard to tell, what with them attacking and everything. So in that case, it was more dangerous for the members of the PTA then the pteradons.

[voiceofthevale]

Yes, it is wonderful, isn't it? She seems alive and well, although painfully out of the loop -- as much as I had wished not to, I had to inform her of Khoshekh's recent condition. [A sigh.] Ignorance may not be bliss, but it certainly is less work.

This place is very bizarre. I haven't seen a single member of the Sheriff's Secret Police anywhere, and if that isn't a red flag, I don't know what is. Imagine, a place left to run wild without any kind of well-meaning governmental control! Ugh. At least it's better than Desert Bluffs.

And, don't forget, healthy pteradons were probably a pretty good draw for tourism! But unhealthy pteradons? Hardly.

[imperfectscientist]

That's great. I know you've been really worried about her. [He shakes his head.] Well, at least we know Khoshekh is going to be alright. Personally, I find it much easier to be informed. Ignorant isn't something a scientist can be. I can't help out if I don't know about it, after all.

You've only talked to Dana and I so far, Cecil. Don't jump to any hasty conclusions. If we're here, who's to say that a Secret Police officer isn't here too? I wish I had my danger meter with me. Then at least I'd know how many standard fatality units we're dealing with.

...There are people who would pay millions of dollars to just get a glimpse of a living dinosaur, even an injured one. But healthy pteradons are preferable.

Here have more Science!

[mountainofevidence]

[Oh look, another Carlos! Or maybe it's an alternate version. Or a Clone. Or a Double. If it's a Double, maybe he should just run? Unless he's the Double this time - Okay, this is getting confusing.

This Carlos puts his hands up, in a universal gesture of "I am not carrying anything which could be bluntly applied to your skull."]

Hi, um, Carlos. Please don't panic and try to kill me. I'm not sure if that would create a paradox yet. Evidence points to not, but I really don't want to find out!

[Besides, he JUST got the blood out of this lab coat!]

Hooray! There is never too much science!

[imperfectscientist]

Oh. [That's. Him. Or at least someone who looks just like him. This is the strangest sensation. He's not sure whether to run far away or get closer and see if he can get some DNA samples for comparison. Despite his initial shock, though, once the other Carlos stresses that killing each other isn't on the agenda, he relaxes a little. He's still startled, yes, but this....version of himself doesn't seem to be threatening, and didn't Cecil describe his double as monstrous? This person seems to be exactly like him. Not a double then, but some sort of alternate?] Hello. No panicking here. Um. This is perhaps the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced, and considering what I've experienced in Night Vale, that's saying something. I'm assuming, since we're not killing each other, that you aren't my double?

[mountainofevidence]

[Okay, good, they are both on team Let's Not Kill Anyone Today! Carlos lowers his hands, smiling in relief.]

There's room for error, but it's unlikely. From what I've extrapolated, this place seems to be some kind of pan-dimensional reality. It's capable of sustaining multiple versions of the same person, perhaps even infinite alternates. I've met four of Cecil, two of Intern Dana, and you're the second me I've encountered.

Oh, um, would you like some coffee? I mean, probably you do, since I generally want some when presented with bizarre new reality shifts but...

[imperfectscientist]

Fascinating! And these alternates, are they experiencing the same events that we are? Or at least, the events we were experiencing before we were brought here?

[He smiles.] That would be great. Thanks. Coffee's a cure all for that sort of thing.

[mountainofevidence]

Exactly! I didn't want to assume - that's just rude, even if it is yourself.

[Carlos puts a pot on.]

The shared experiences seem to vary case by case. Some alternates are from very specific points with no knowledge of continuing events. Others are "updated" and remain abreast of current affairs.

[The coffee pot begins whistling "Life Is A Highway." Pouring out two cups, Carlos absentmindedly makes them exactly the same. He sets both down on the battered kitchen table.]

I generally seem to be updating, though it depends on who I interact with. Right now I know it's April 1st, but I haven't heard Cecil's show yet.

[imperfectscientist]

Plus, assumptions are generally highly unscientific. [He takes his cup once the other Carlos sets it down, blows on it a little before he takes a sip. Nice.]

Interesting. Sounds like there isn't much rhyme or reason to it. Do you have any idea how we came to be here? I don't remember doing anything dangerous or peculiar before I came here, but there must be some sort of catalyst.

I've heard Cecil's show already. It's a good show, but I won't spoil it for you.

[mountainofevidence]

Well, I've heard it now. Or rather, my Mun has. It's - [He sneezes, and grabs Kleenex.] - Sorry. I'm glad Khoshekh's better! I guess it's worth giving up breathing for a little while.

[He'll leave the tissues out, in case his fellow scientist needs them too. For a second he ponders the coffee. How to explain this?]

Right, so "Muns." Everyone here is connected to some kind of outside intelligence. I guess you could say we're their avatars. They call themselves "Mundanes" or "Muns," which has to be some kind of joke. From what I've seen, they're omnipresent and omnipotent - but only for their own Muses. They can't touch other Muses without permission.

You've experienced the sensation of your actions being not entirely under your control - Well, more then normal not-under-control? That's probably your Mun. You might be able to talk to them, if you tried.

[imperfectscientist]

Ugh, thank god for Claritin. But, yes, I'm glad Khoshekh's better. I think I'm going to make him an eyepatch. Cecil will probably get a kick out of it.

And how, exactly, did they get a hold of us in particular? Why is it only know they have control over us? This doesn't make any sense. What reason would they have to act out and control another person's life when they have their own?

....She thinks I'm being ridiculous. I really don't think I'm over reacting about this.

*happily smashes fourth walls*

[mountainofevidence]

An eyepatch is a completely necessary addition to any feline wardrobe! And then since Cecil is so fond of cats in boxes, maybe a pirate ship -

Er, right. It's not unreasonable! I'm not sure how the Muns get attached to us. It seems to be a specific combination of personality, interest, and timing. It's an avenue to... explore different possibilities, different scenarios then the ones presented. I can sympathize with that desire. Let's be honest - If we were opposed to new thoughts and ideas, we wouldn't be scientists.

[Just then Carlos's arm partially fades out into a black mist before he can catch it. He glares at it.]

I'd prefer she stop trying out horror threads, though.

[Watch it or you're getting those extra eyes back too, Carlos!]

[scientificintegrity]

[hope you're listening quickly, other carlos, because this one's shooting words out as fast as his mouth will articulate them]

The way I've made sense of it is that something was warped in the fabric of reality to begin with-- Descartes, dream argument, that kind of thing. It's not science, of course, but you still had that roommate with the epistemology obsession? Or... not, because I'd say our relationship's actually closer to parallel universe offshoots. The question there is if our differing environments, however small, led to genetic differences due to--

This is... uh. Not answering your question.

[he lets out a breath, embarrassed, looks down, and seems to slow the pace of his speaking a little]

This place is a sort of multiple universe nexus, more or less. You'll find plenty of Cecils-- and everyone else, but for some reason I haven't discerned there are a lot less-- from varying universes, and lots of... us... as well. But the one from your universe, the one you're looking for? You might find him, you might not.

He'll be okay, either way. He's made it through worse than being thrown across time and space to land inside the consciousness of a stranger combined with the revelation that objective reality is an illusion.

[...okay, actually, the last part might actually be a problem for cecil. hell, it was a problem for carlos. watch him pull a worried boyfriend frown and trail off.]

[imperfectscientist]

[He's nodding rapidly as the other Carlos speaks. He doesn't seem to be having any trouble following.] Parallel universe offshoots. This is great! Er. Well, not great, exactly, but certainly interesting! I'm assuming the majority of your assertions are based on personal experience along with interaction with others here. Have you been here long?

...Maybe. Still, it has to be disorienting at the very least. [Have a matching worried boyfriend look. But he supposes there's not much he can do at this point.]

[scientificintegrity]

More or less. I haven't done a whole lot of talking, but I've been observing from a distance for a long time. Time being ah, relative, of course.

It is. But, I mean... Night Vale. He knows how to deal with unexpected things.

[pause]

Right?

[aaaand he's trying not to analyze exactly what cecil can and can't do, stop himself from running hundred of hypothetical scenarios that really don't do anyone any good.]