voiceofthevale: (let my words wash over you.)
Cecil Gershwin Palmer ([personal profile] voiceofthevale) wrote in [community profile] dear_mun2014-03-29 04:46 pm

canon: welcome to night vale

Good evening, mundanes. Is it just me, or are some of you feeling a liiiiittle bit high-strung? I know, I know -- things happen, all this stress and worry and disappointment just keep building up, and it is just so frustrating, isn't it? Well, have I got a treat for you then, mundanes! Let's all take a moment to sit back and relax with some good old fashioned horoscopes.

Aries, how are you feeling this week? How do you feel about maybe going to the doctor's? Are you allergic to penicillin? I sure hope not! 

Taurus, is it just me, or is it hot in here? Like, really hot. Oh god. Now that doesn't look safe. Taurus, I think you might wan to be on the look out for fire extinguishers in the future, because you might need one -- or five, just to be safe.

For you, Gemini, I see blue skies up ahead! That's right, things will finally be looking up -- and up, and up, and up. That sky is so blue. Wow. I wish I was a Gemini, because really, that kind of natural beauty is just breathtaking. Geminis, I'd like to ask you to please post some photos of that on my wall immediately.

Cancer's future is full of cockroaches. The really ugly ones.

I wouldn't do any kind of travelling soon, Leo, because it looks like the stars are asking you to stay home. Maybe there's a family member you could reconnect with, or, just reconnect them! If you can find all their parts, that is.

Virgo, why not take a stroll down memory lane and visit some of your old childhood haunts? The river creek where you and your best friend caught frogs one hot summer day, the tree house in your neighbor's backyard, the clifftop where you and your best friend did that awful, terrible thing. I know what you did, Virgo. We all do.

Libra, Libra, Libra. What am I going to do with you? This is...wow, I'm not even sure I want to read this! Um. Libra. Yes. Libras. They're very...interesting, aren't they? Interesting. That's the word. Haha. I am so sorry.

Scorpios can look forward to some great financial gain in the near future! If you've ever had any plans to, oh, I don't know, make a risky fiscal investment, take out a few loans, rob a bank...Scorpios, now's the time to do it!

Sagittarius -- my mun would like to insist that this sign is the best sign, although I, as an impartial, committed radio host, frown on this kind of obvious personal bias. For shame, mun, for shame. No, I'm not even going to tell you what yours is. You can just wait and find out.

Congratulations, Aquarius! Someone you know just won a brand new car! 

And finally, for you, dear Pisces, everything looks...pretty good! Considering all those extra limbs of yours. And all those teeth. I would like to personally applaud you for your excellent level of self-esteem and outstanding confidence. You go, Pisces!

This concludes our weekly editorial. Remember, you are in as much control of your own destiny as the next person, and the person next to them, and the person next to them. But in how much control, you ask? Well, how much do you think?
 
imperfectscientist: (flustered)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
Hi Cecil. I just wanted to say. Well, first off, that your horoscopes were as interesting as always. But, since you're broadcasting to a wider audience than just Night Vale now, it might be a good idea to...introduce yourself and tell everyone where you're from, at least. And probably clarify that Night Vale, although it's very beautiful and scientifically interesting, isn't as malevolent as it first appears.
Edited 2014-03-30 01:46 (UTC)
imperfectscientist: (sheepish)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Of course I heard that. I always listen to you, remember? [The smile is obvious in his voice.]

It's alright. Anyone who's confused will be able to talk to you and ask for clarification. ...Or, you could do that, that works too.

Sorry. I know Night Vale isn't really malevolent. It just seems that way, at first, for Outsiders, sometimes. Or at the very least, it seems strange. In a slightly terrifying way. Especially for those of us who aren't accustomed to studying the strange. I just want to make sure all your listeners are aware, that's all.

imperfectscientist: (cute boyfriend)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
That's right. I'm pretty committed to listening to you, you know. For scientific and personal reasons.

It was very good, Cecil. I think you were right to keep some personal things off the air. There are some things that are meant to be, well, personal. O positive, huh? I'm A positive. I guess that's an important thing to know, if we're going to need to give blood transfusions. But I wasn't aware that blood type had anything to do with your temperament.

Never mind. Don't worry about it Cecil. Night Vale's perfectly fine.
imperfectscientist: (thinking)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, exactly. Your show is very scientifically interesting and informative, of course.

Blood type is probably a good thing to know in Night Vale, when there are lots of ways to start bleeding, besides the nasty paper cut or sliced with a scalpel reasons. That's interesting! Maybe they had a bad experience with someone who has B type blood?

Incidentally, now that you've made this broadcast, maybe the travel agency will do you a few favors. We might get more traffic in Night Vale as a result of this broadcast. Certainly better advertising than the travel agency is capable of. The curiosity factor alone will attract people. Or at least, people who are interested in that sort of thing.
Edited 2014-03-30 03:04 (UTC)
imperfectscientist: (cute boyfriend)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 07:00 am (UTC)(link)
You don't have to worry about entertainment, believe me. You could make anything into a good story, I'm sure of it.

The people of Night Vale already do things with bloodstones that a geologist wouldn't dream of, so if you couldn't do it, I'm sure no one else could.

If you say so. I'm a scientist, not a member of the tourism board.
imperfectscientist: (at peace)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 07:32 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm sure it's just because you sometimes talk about things they aren't interested in. But that doesn't mean what you're saying isn't a good story. You're very good at what you do.

I didn't mean it exactly like that, but I'm certain geologists have dreams that feature rocks and stones. You've never had a dream about your microphone? When you think about something so much, you're bound to have a dream or two about it.
imperfectscientist: (suprise)

[personal profile] imperfectscientist 2014-03-30 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[He smiles.] Of course you are. You're a radio professional.

But...there aren't even any bears in Night Vale! ...Never mind. I hope you're at least able to have a good dream about a bear. You don't have to have a dream about being attacked, do you?
survivinginternship: (just want to go home)

[personal profile] survivinginternship 2014-03-30 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Cecil? Cecil are you there?
survivinginternship: (Default)

[personal profile] survivinginternship 2014-03-30 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
I can! I can! Oh, this is wonderful. It's been so very long.
survivinginternship: (told you)

[personal profile] survivinginternship 2014-03-30 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
I wish I could tell you that, Cecil, but I did go to the mountain. There was a blinking light and... I have just so much to tell you. I tried to do what I think you would have done. I looked. And now I'm remembering.

It's been very strange, Cecil.

Everyone is alright back in Night Vale, right? My mother and my brother? Everyone at the station?
survivinginternship: (please no please no)

[personal profile] survivinginternship 2014-03-30 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, no! Not Khoshekh. The poor dear. He's going to be okay, isn't he? I mean, I don't know him well, he IS in the men's bathroom, after all, but I hear him all the time when I walk past and... Cecil that's just TERRIBLE news. Who would hurt our little station friend?