Cecil Gershwin Palmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
voiceofthevale) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2014-03-29 04:46 pm
voiceofthevale) wrote in dear_mun2014-03-29 04:46 pm
Entry tags:
canon: welcome to night vale
Good evening, mundanes. Is it just me, or are some of you feeling a liiiiittle bit high-strung? I know, I know -- things happen, all this stress and worry and disappointment just keep building up, and it is just so frustrating, isn't it? Well, have I got a treat for you then, mundanes! Let's all take a moment to sit back and relax with some good old fashioned horoscopes.
Aries, how are you feeling this week? How do you feel about maybe going to the doctor's? Are you allergic to penicillin? I sure hope not!
Taurus, is it just me, or is it hot in here? Like, really hot. Oh god. Now that doesn't look safe. Taurus, I think you might wan to be on the look out for fire extinguishers in the future, because you might need one -- or five, just to be safe.
For you, Gemini, I see blue skies up ahead! That's right, things will finally be looking up -- and up, and up, and up. That sky is so blue. Wow. I wish I was a Gemini, because really, that kind of natural beauty is just breathtaking. Geminis, I'd like to ask you to please post some photos of that on my wall immediately.
Cancer's future is full of cockroaches. The really ugly ones.
I wouldn't do any kind of travelling soon, Leo, because it looks like the stars are asking you to stay home. Maybe there's a family member you could reconnect with, or, just reconnect them! If you can find all their parts, that is.
Virgo, why not take a stroll down memory lane and visit some of your old childhood haunts? The river creek where you and your best friend caught frogs one hot summer day, the tree house in your neighbor's backyard, the clifftop where you and your best friend did that awful, terrible thing. I know what you did, Virgo. We all do.
Libra, Libra, Libra. What am I going to do with you? This is...wow, I'm not even sure I want to read this! Um. Libra. Yes. Libras. They're very...interesting, aren't they? Interesting. That's the word. Haha. I am so sorry.
Scorpios can look forward to some great financial gain in the near future! If you've ever had any plans to, oh, I don't know, make a risky fiscal investment, take out a few loans, rob a bank...Scorpios, now's the time to do it!
Sagittarius -- my mun would like to insist that this sign is the best sign, although I, as an impartial, committed radio host, frown on this kind of obvious personal bias. For shame, mun, for shame. No, I'm not even going to tell you what yours is. You can just wait and find out.
Congratulations, Aquarius! Someone you know just won a brand new car!
And finally, for you, dear Pisces, everything looks...pretty good! Considering all those extra limbs of yours. And all those teeth. I would like to personally applaud you for your excellent level of self-esteem and outstanding confidence. You go, Pisces!
This concludes our weekly editorial. Remember, you are in as much control of your own destiny as the next person, and the person next to them, and the person next to them. But in how much control, you ask? Well, how much do you think?
Aries, how are you feeling this week? How do you feel about maybe going to the doctor's? Are you allergic to penicillin? I sure hope not!
Taurus, is it just me, or is it hot in here? Like, really hot. Oh god. Now that doesn't look safe. Taurus, I think you might wan to be on the look out for fire extinguishers in the future, because you might need one -- or five, just to be safe.
For you, Gemini, I see blue skies up ahead! That's right, things will finally be looking up -- and up, and up, and up. That sky is so blue. Wow. I wish I was a Gemini, because really, that kind of natural beauty is just breathtaking. Geminis, I'd like to ask you to please post some photos of that on my wall immediately.
Cancer's future is full of cockroaches. The really ugly ones.
I wouldn't do any kind of travelling soon, Leo, because it looks like the stars are asking you to stay home. Maybe there's a family member you could reconnect with, or, just reconnect them! If you can find all their parts, that is.
Virgo, why not take a stroll down memory lane and visit some of your old childhood haunts? The river creek where you and your best friend caught frogs one hot summer day, the tree house in your neighbor's backyard, the clifftop where you and your best friend did that awful, terrible thing. I know what you did, Virgo. We all do.
Libra, Libra, Libra. What am I going to do with you? This is...wow, I'm not even sure I want to read this! Um. Libra. Yes. Libras. They're very...interesting, aren't they? Interesting. That's the word. Haha. I am so sorry.
Scorpios can look forward to some great financial gain in the near future! If you've ever had any plans to, oh, I don't know, make a risky fiscal investment, take out a few loans, rob a bank...Scorpios, now's the time to do it!
Sagittarius -- my mun would like to insist that this sign is the best sign, although I, as an impartial, committed radio host, frown on this kind of obvious personal bias. For shame, mun, for shame. No, I'm not even going to tell you what yours is. You can just wait and find out.
Congratulations, Aquarius! Someone you know just won a brand new car!
And finally, for you, dear Pisces, everything looks...pretty good! Considering all those extra limbs of yours. And all those teeth. I would like to personally applaud you for your excellent level of self-esteem and outstanding confidence. You go, Pisces!
This concludes our weekly editorial. Remember, you are in as much control of your own destiny as the next person, and the person next to them, and the person next to them. But in how much control, you ask? Well, how much do you think?