moving to dreamwidth and recent/possible developments in games (cfud & zodion)

[watch]

It's been quiet lately... I don't think I mind the change. Even Christmas and New Year's went off without a hitch, and fortune only falls in your favor for so long before the tables turn.

Tatsuya said not to dwell on the possibility of a dark future when the present is bright enough to walk without tripping. [ okay, so it wasn't quite like that, but that's what he meant, right. ] But you have to do your part too. If you wait around for everything else to catch up, then you're only contributing to the problem, right...?

And don't worry about Lisa. If she returns, even if she doesn't remember... Well, we can take that one step at a time. Everything will work out for the best... I want to believe that's true.

Comments

THOSE WERE MINE YOU LITTLE FUCKSHIT!!!!!!!

[gentle]

Ahh, yes, because of yours and Tatsuya's relationship? Wouldn't she be happy for you if she found out such news?

[N doesn't know shit about how Feelings work other than what kaworu did to ruin his life so.]

nope

[watch]

[ hey N, could you tell that joke again? because it was a really good one. who knew he was capable of such ridiculous jest?

well...

she would be happy for them, right? in her own way, in the same way jun would be happy for tatsuya if he was happy with anybody other than him. he knows lisa — and himself — well enough to know that.

but that doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell anyway. ]

Maybe she would be. But I think it would be painful to find out that someone you love, loves someone else.

[ he may not exactly know the feeling first hand, but he's imagined it often enough to empathize. ]

fuq u so hard GOD

[gentle]

[N would be a huge fucking psycho about this shit until told otherwise so this just

makes

no sense to him.]

I have never been in love with someone, so I cannot comprehend such a thing.

[tbh if, say, touya fell in love with someone else he would just be like well this is kind of what i get for ruining like an entire season of his life!!! and almost taking over the country and stuff!!! so. whatever.

whatever.............]

[watch]

[ yup same here bro... IT'S WHAT I DESERVE!!

he spends a moment trying to think of some sort of applicable comparison but there really isn't one. ]

Well... Do you know what it's like to want something you can't have?

[gentle]

[......no. no he doesn't LMFAO GOD FUCK HIS LIFE. the one thing he's ever wanted of his own, unbiased volition was to befriend the hero of unova and that

didn't

work out too well.]

Sort of. I...wanted to befriend Touya during our journey, and I miss him so intensely that I wish for him to join us in one of our games but... That was never meant to be.

[:) thanks jun.]

[watch]

[ :) no problem bff. ]

"Never" is an awfully long time.

[ he never thought tatsuya — or hell, any of his friends — would show up in camp, but all that waiting proved him wrong. ]

[gentle]

[:) ugly fucker.]

Even if he were to show up, I cannot face him until I reshape every single one of my ideals and understand that which I condemned. And even then, he must choose to accept me and after all the trouble Ghetsis and I caused... I could never ask him to do such a thing.

[weeeeeeeeh weeeeeeeeeeeh weeeeeeeeeeeeeeh whine some more N.]

[watch]

[ :) crybaby bitch. ]

So do it. Reshape your ideals and understand. [ if he did it, anyone can. ] What's stopping you?

[gentle]

It's not that simple!

[do you see those tears jun? you should. you brought them on.

good job. pretend N is having a dramatic teary eyed code geass monologue-esque moment. i'm sure you know what i'm talking about.]

Even if I were to reshape them and understand, then what?! I don't know what the future holds beyond that! Everything I envisioned will be wrong and I cannot...

[he cannot deal with that okay change is SCARY AND WEIRD AND HE A SCARED SCARED BABY. he has no idea how to begin doing any of these lofty things at all, he's tried, really, but it just

is not easy?????? fuq everything rn he's just gonna cry a lil.]

[watch]

[ codegeass-notthisshitagain.jpg ]

"Will be" wrong? If you know that much, then you already know they're wrong. [ what's so hard to understand about that? ] No one knows what the future holds... You just have to keep striving for your ideal self no matter what.

[gentle]

[stop expecting him to be a mature, level-headed individual who takes responsibility for his actions :/

anyway N is just shaking his head all nu uh.]

I don't understand... How is it humans can simply be content with walking forward, towards uncertainty with no predetermined goal to guide them? What if I cannot reconstruct my ideals? What if I'm too warped to live among the humans?

[i hate N why do i play this melodramatic dumbass again, seriously.]

As if I could advance towards something so ambiguous! As if I should put my trust in an unknown variable!