dear_mun | New horizons, Highblood! Go forth and rejoice!

meme
a noun
an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means esp imitation
but really its just some shitty internet thing
in this context probably the land of random-happenstance and quirky-scenarios
those really just exist to mess with your head

Edited 2014-03-08 15:21 (UTC)

SO BASICALLLY, YOU'RE TELLING ME I WILL HAVE MURPHY'S LAW THRUST UPON ME AT EVERY CHANCE THE MUNDANE GETS?

MAN THAT IS SOME BULLSHIT.

yeah pretty much sums that shit up
youre at the whim and fancy of your great puppeteer
just pray its not some 12 year old little girl
ive heard some brutal horror stories
from unicorn fancy lands to drunken sex escapades
some are better than others
you have your will but little choice

UNICORN FANCY LAND? THAT WOULD BE OUT OF MY SKILL SET. SHIT LIKE THAT AIN'T A MOTHERFUCKER'S WAY OF DOING SHIT UP.
THIS IS GOING TO BE REAL INTERESTING FOR MINUTE.
I WHOLLY MOTHERFUCKING DOUBT I WILL BE GOING INTO ANY SITUATION I CANNOT HANDLE, BUT THE CHANCES OF BEING THROWN SOMEPLACE ALL MOTHERFUCKING SPARKLES AND RAINBOWS. I WILL LEAVE THOSE SHINY HAPPY PLACES TO THOSE WHO PREFER THEM.
I WONDER IF A HORROR SCENARIO WOULD NEED AN ABOVE-AVERAGE SIZED TROLL.

yeah but if you keep talking like that you might be doomed to unicorn fancy land
mundanes have this nasty habit of picking the thing thats the worst of us and flinging us head long into it
just imagine your tall self sitting down at a toddlers tea party
little bonnet on your head
pinky out proper
sends chills down the spine
as scary as that shit is i agree youre more suited to horror survival situations
i remember a mental home with monsters that came out at night
youd probs fit in there nice and snug

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, I WOULD HAVE THE MOST APPROPRIATE ICON FOR THAT MOTHERFUCKER, THOUGH.

I WOULD DO WELL BEING THE BOGEYMAN, YOU ARE CORRECT.

holy shit you totally do
you lied it is in your skill set
you could be shipped off right now and you would do well
it would probably turn into a birthday massacre
but i think unicorn fancy land has it coming
too peaceful there

well maybe not the boogyman per say
i mean youre kinda large
dont think you would fit in the closet sir

IT WOULD BE MUCH HARDER TO FIT UNDER THE BED. YET YOU MAY BE CORRECT, INSOMUCH THAT IF I DID MANAGE TO CRAM MYSELF INTO A MOTHERFUCKING CLOSET, I WOULD COME OUT WITH CLOTHES HANGING ON MY HORNS. IT WOULD COMPLETELY DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF THE ATTEMPT.

Edited 2014-03-08 21:58 (UTC)

well now lets not give up on the idea
since when have we been quitters
if you were to stalk the closet of some rich asshole
you know the kind
with the walk in closets
rows and rows of dresses shoes and ties
youd fit pretty perfectly there
privileged people always figure theyre above that sort of thing anyway
illusions of safety in need of a large troll to scare the piss out of em

OH YES, THAT IS A CAPER OF WHICH I WOULD BE MOST MOTHERFUCKING CAPABLE.
AND YOU ARE CORRECT, THE POWERFUL TEND TO CONSIDER THEMSELVES BEYOND THE REACH OF RIGHTEOUS RETRIBUTION.
BUT THAT WOULD BEG THE QUESTION OF WHO WOULD NEED TO WET THEMSELVES TO SEE THE ERROR OF THEIR MOTHERFUCKING WAYS.

I MEAN OTHER THAN AMPORAS. THOSE FUCKERS ALWAYS NEED A GOOD SCARE. MAYBE ONE OF THESE GENERATIONS, HUMOR WILL ALSO FIND ITS WAY INTO THEIR GENETICS.

clearly we need to arrange some sort of slumber party horror night
you do your big scary clown troll thing
ill be the camera man
youll be painted in the best of lights
i can already imagine the angles and the beauty shots
of course well need to get reaction shots

do you want a picture of some scaredie ampotas
because i am pretty sure that shot would be priceless

Edited 2014-03-10 20:05 (UTC)

F9r as much as y9u seem determined t9 c9mplain a69ut 6eing here, y9u seem t9 have f9rg9tten the p9tential upsides.
F9r instance, I'm here.
And there are many that c9uld 6enefit fr9m y9ur willingness t9 educate and dispel illusi9ns that many have 6uilt up a69ut y9u and a69ut y9ur culture.

And y9u may even find s9me9ne that w9uld n9t faint at the sight 9f y9ur 6ulge, sh9uld y9u need that relief.

Edited (shhhh formatting) 2014-03-08 17:43 (UTC)

NOW SEE HERE, PREACHER, I WAS NOT COMPLAINING. I WAS MERELY ASKING A MOTHER FUCKING QUESTION.

NO, NOW I'M MOTHER FUCKING GRIPING, LITTLE PREACHER.

OH COME THE FUCK ON, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SUDDENLY BE BE ALL ABOUT THAT SHIT JUST BECAUSE OF THE FORMAT CHANGE? YOU NEED TO SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN, MUTANT. I DO NOT NEED MY CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS FILLED SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE'S THIS INSANE WEALTH OF DIFFERENT WAYS TO DO IT.

I MEAN UP UNTIL THEY GET AN EXTREME SIZE DIFFERENCE KINK MEME ALL UP ON THAT MOTHERFUCKER, I'M FRESH OUT OF LUCK, ANYHOW. AIN'T NO WAY I WILL BE LIKELY TO FIND A PERSON WHO DOESN'T NOPE THE MOTHER FUCK OUT AT FIRST GLIMPSE.

LIKE.
SOME.
PEOPLE.

N9t every9ne is a size queen, Anshur.

Y9u certainly seem t9 6e griping at the Strider 69y up there.
6elieve me th9ugh, it c9uld 6e w9rse.

It can *always* get w9rse.

FOR YOU, PERHAPS.
LITTLE PRISS PRINCESS OF THE REBELS HAS IT OH SO ROUGH, AFTER ALL. AS FOR ME, I'M WILLING TO SEE HOW WORSE IT CAN GET. THIS WILL NOT FAZE ME, I AM A MOTHERFUCKING ROCK.

Welcome to the boat, my impressive troll friend.
Rest assured that you are definitely not alone in your ridiculously uncomfortable struggle.

Also, for your inquiry I have included a very helpful source.

OH YES, GOOD JOB LESS YOUNG STRIDER BOY. I AM FLOORED BY YOUR NATURAL ABILITY TO SNARK THE SHIT OUT OF ANYBODY.
YOU HAVE ME SO MOTHERFUCKING CONVINCED THAT I HAVE COMMITTED A GRIEVOUS ERROR IN ASKING IN A GENERAL PLACE WHERE I COULD GET A SUBJECTIVE OPINION OF WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH IN A CONCISE MANNER, WHILE POSING IT AS AN OBJECTIVE QUESTION, THAT I WILL GO, PROVERBIAL MOTHER FUCKING TAIL BETWEEN MY GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING LEGS.

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. IT IS AS THOUGH I HAVE NO FORETHOUGHT TO THINK MY ACTIONS THROUGH.

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME MUCH TO CONTEMPLATE, LITTLE BROTHER.

I am glad that I could assist you, oh great one that wields his tongue as he would a sword.
Being uninformed can be a person's greatest weakness. Why not give you a glorious tool that some snarky bastard came up with somewhere down the line in order to help you further your knowledge?
I certainly do hope that what I provided for you was helpful. It would be such a shame if it wasn't.

[Huff. He preferred the little Strider. Less deadpan.]

OH BELIEVE ME, IT HELPED CONSIDERABLY.

TO SOUR MY SPIRITS, THAT IS.

[Congratulations, you're stuck with him.]
It's unfortunate that something so small as a little bit of sarcasm would affect someone like you quite so strongly.
But I guess to expect anything along the line of patience from your kind was a bit of a stretch.

YOU HAD BEST BE EXPLAINING YOURSELF. "MY KIND?"

Trolls. I thought that much would be obvious.

I WAS GREATLY HOPING YOU HAD BEEN SPEAKING SPECIFICALLY OF THE MOTHERFUCKING INDIGO BLOODS, AND NOT SIMPLY OUR ENTIRE SPECIES. LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A REAL NEED TO GET SCHOOLFED ON JUST HOW MOTHERFUCKING WRONG YOU IS.

Please, do. Let me open up a word document here and be effectively schooled by your great knowledge.

Though seriously, sarcasm aside. Go for it. Admittedly my knowledge has been ridiculously filtered in a way that has not painted trolls in a good light what-so-ever.

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE MOTHERFUCKING THING IN THAT HILARIOUS SHIT YOU JUST UP AND SPOUTED: INDIGO BLOODS AIN'T GOT THE PATIENCE FOR SARCASM OR BULLSHIT. MUCH OF US IS MORE LIKELY TO DAMN YOUR LITTLE PINK SELF STRAIGHT TO YOUR DOOM FOR SPEAKING SOME BULLSHIT.

BUT...

THERE ARE MANY TROLLS WITH PATIENCE. THOSE WHO ARE JADEBLOOD PARTICULARLY POSSESS DEEP AMOUNTS OF PATIENCE FOR ATTITUDE SUCH AS YOURS. AND PRIOR TO THEM UP AND GOING ALL SORTS OF DEAD, THE LIMEBLOODS TOO HAD A MOTHERFUCKING LONG SPAN OF GETTING THEIR ZENLIKE CHILL ON.

SHAME THEY DEAD, COULDA DONE YOU A GOOD FAVOR, AND KICKED YOU DOWN SOME REAL WISDOM OF THE ANCIENTS SHIT.

I AIN'T OF THE MOTHERFUCKING MIND TO BE UP AND TRYING TO EDUCATE A LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER ON WHAT ALL HIS PAN'S ALL FUCKERED UP FOR.

I will keep that in mind for the future. If I ever meet a Jadeblood I will make sure to unload all of my curiosities onto them.

So at this point would it be a good or bad idea to ask some questions?

BY ALL MEANS, YOUNG MAN. ASK AWAY.

When did the Limebloods die out and why?

IT WAS WHEN I WAS YOUNG. HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION HAD PLANS FOR A MORE BRUTAL CIVILIZATION THAT WAS BASED ALONG THE LINES OF CALIGINOUS MOTIVES RATHER THAN FLUSHED. LIMEBLOODS WERE KNOWN MEDIATORS AND WELL VERSED IN CALMING WE, THE MORE NATURALLY VIOLENT AND VOLATILE HIGHER CASTES. THERE WAS A GENOCIDE.

THE HEMOSPECTRUM BALANCES ITSELF OUT, HOWEVER, AND WHEN THE LIMEBLOODS DIED, MORE MUTATIONS WERE HATCHED. SUCH AS YOU WILL SEE IN THE LITTLE PREACHER AND HIS DESCENDANT.

That woman has a penchant for mass murder and I am getting the feeling that I am not the only one that is completely and entirely sick of it.

How do you think your race would react if it were an endangered species? I don't know how alive you were for what happened on your home planet, so I'm just curious.

ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE PROPHECIED DOOM OF ALTERNIA AND THE HATCHING OF OUR LORD?

I WAS DEAD, BUT DREAMING WHEN THAT SHIT WENT DOWN, AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL.

ALTERNIA, UNFORTUNATELY, IS THE TROLL'S ORIGIN PLANET, SO IT IS AN UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCE THAT WITH IT, DIES THE ONLY VIABLE MOTHER GRUBS. HOWEVER, HAD SHE ANY MOTHER FUCKING PATIENCE, WHICH SHE DOES NOT, SHE COULD FIND AN ALTERNATIVE MEANS OF REPRODUCTION THAN THE THIRD PARTY MOTHER GRUB THAT HAS BECOME THE ONLY HARBINGER OF LIFE-GIVING AMINO ACIDS WHICH MAKE HATCHING EVEN REMOTELY POSSIBLE.

BUT WHAT THE SHIT DO I KNOW, I WAS BUT A MOTHERFUCKING JESTER ALL UP AND IN HER COURT, PUT THERE FOR HER AMUSEMENT AND HER MOTHERFUCKING PROTECTION.

WHAT THE CONDESCE DOES IS COUNTER TO MY LORD'S WORK. I KNEW IT WOULD ONE DAY COME TO THAT, BUT ALSO KNEW THAT MY DEATH WOULD BE LONG BEFORE IT.

SHE DOES NOT REALIZE THAT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF IT, SHOULD SHE EVEN REMEMBER I UP AND TOLD HER ALL THIS BULLSHIT HUNDREDS OF SWEEPS AGO.

AND THAT SHE WILL COME FACE TO MOTHERFUCKING FACE WITH MY LORD, AND RUE THE DAY SHE TRIED.

That definitely raises a lot more questions than it answers. I don't really know what, exactly, she is planning. I just know that she could have killed me and my friends a long time ago but she didn't. That in and of itself is twenty different shades of suspicious.

I would ask if you ever tried talking to her about it, but I seriously doubt she would take any sort of council from anyone.

Your Lord? What sort of religion to you ascribe to?

I ASCRIBE TO THE MOTHERFUCKING CHURCH OF THE SUBJUGGLATOR, LITTLE BROTHER. I WAS ONCE A MOTHERFUCKING PROPHET, AND THE HIGHEST ECHELON IN THAT FAITH. IN BRIEF, WE ASCRIBE TO THE UNDENIABLE MOTHERFUCKING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT WE ALL MOTHERFUCKING DOOMED AS SHIT UPON THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE, SO WE GOTTA BRING SOME MERRIMENT AND MIRTH TO THIS BALL OF SHIT.
WE USE THE VOODOOS THAT IS ALL UP IN OUR HEADS TO PAINT THE VOID IN BLOOD AND DUST. WE LAUGH, AND SCREAM, AND BE ALL MOTHERFUCKING UP AND READY TO DO THE BIDDING OF THE GREAT RINGMASTER, OUR LORD, THE ONLY LORD CAPABLE OF LEADING US ON INTO SHANGRI-LA.
IT IS A MIRACULOUS OCCASION TO LEAD THOSE WHO SEE THIS SHIT FIRSTHAND INTO THE DARK MOTHERFUCKING CARNIVAL, LITTLE BROTHER. AND CERTAINLY, IT MAY SOUND SOMETHING REAL LOONY-TUNES FLAVORED CRAZY TO THOSE UNINITIATED, BUT THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN COMING TRUE, AND I KNOW YOU AIN'T THE KIND TO UP AND DISBELIEVE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAS ALWAYS BEEN EXPOSED TO.

YOU GOT THAT MOTHERFUCKING JUJU. YOU HAD HIM YOUR WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING LIFE. HE IS A GREAT RELIC FROM OUR FAITH. PASSED OVER FROM OUR MESSIAHS TO YOUR BROTHER AS A SHOW OF MIRACULOUS FAITH.

[Or as a kindly Fuck You to Dave, whichever.]

[Don't mind Dirk as he reads that probably about four times 'cuz wow.]

"Doomed as shit" sure is a positive outlook. I can understand that though. I was kind of born into a world that was definitely "doomed as shit".

Admittedly yes, it does sound kind of out there. But what faith doesn't sound ridiculous to those who do not believe?

You aren't the first one to call Lil Cal my juju. I still don't quite understand what the hell that means. An item of great power and importance. That's what I got. But what role does Lil Cal exactly play?

Edited 2014-03-14 03:50 (UTC)

HE IS THE HUSK OF A CHUNK OF OUR LORD. A FRACTURED SPLINTER OF THE SOUL OF THE RINGMASTER.
HE IS AN EMBODIMENT OF VOODOOS. A POWERFUL MOTHERFUCKING CREATION THAT CAN SEND ALL THE SHIT INTO CHAOS IF HE SO CHOOSES, OR IS ASKED.

HAVE YOU NOT HEARD THE GIGGLES, LITTLE BROTHER?

Seems like I'm not the only one whose soul is apparently not in one piece. I'm not really sure I understand your meaning. What, exactly, do you mean by voodoo? It's history in my world is likely different than yours.

Giggles? Lil Cal, well. I don't know. I always sort of equated the sounds I thought he would make to my being alone in the middle of the ocean with no one to talk to. Dolls can't really talk.

CHUCKLEVOODOOS ARE A SENTIENT FORCE OF ENERGY, NOT UNLIKE WHAT ALL YOUR HUMAN STAR WARS MOVIES HAD ABOUT THE FORCE. EXCEPT THEY AIN'T PASSIVE, AND CAN ONLY BE SPOKEN TO OR THROUGH BY A CERTAIN CASTE. US INDIGO BLOODED MOTHERFUCKERS. MOST OF US CAN UP AND BLOCK THAT SHIT OUT, BUT SOME OTHERS, SUCH AS MYSELF, TAKE THEM UP WITHIN US AND USE THEM FOR OUR OWN PURPOSE.

THE PROBLEM WITH BEING ALL DOWN WITH IT, LETTING THE VOODOOS BED DOWN IN YOUR PAN IS THAT THEY SNAP YOU. FILL YOU UP. MAKE YOU MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE HORRORTERRORS OF THE VOID. THE UPSIDE TO THEM IS THEY IS INFINITELY VERSATILE AND YOU CAN USE THEM TO DO ALL WHATEVER YOU CAN BE UP AND THINKING.

AS FOR YOUR LIL CAL, HE AIN'T JUST A DOLL, MY FRUIT PUNCH BLEEDING BROTHER. THAT LITTLE BUDDY OF YOURS IS DEAD, BUT DREAMING. JUST LIKE ME.

Is your caste really the only one that is capable of accepting and harnessing the powers of these chucklevoodoos? Do you know if there is a particular reason for that? Do you have a religious text or is this a word of mouth religion?

Doesn't that terrify you? Leaving your mind open to this unknown, ancient force sounds like a fine opportunity for them to use you as their own puppet.

Does that mean he'll eventually wake up? What does that mean? You said that he was a fragment of your Lord's soul. What is his ultimate purpose?

THE FAITH IS SPOKEN AND TRADITIONS CARRIED DOWN FROM ELDER TO ACOLYTE. THE REASON WE UP AND KNOW THAT IT IS ONLY OUR CASTE THAT CAN CONNECT TO IT IS BECAUSE IN ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME WE BEEN UP AND EXISTING, WE HAVE YET TO HEAR OF ANY OTHER MOTHERFUCKERS WHO HAVE THIS PREDISPOSITION. IT IS CERTAINLY POSSIBLE, BUT IT AIN'T VERY PROBABLE GIVEN THAT OTHER RACES ALL UP AND HAVE THEIR OWN SHIT THEY ARE BEHOLDEN UPON. SOME ARE CAPABLE OF SPEAKING TO THE DEAD, SOME MOTHERFUCKERS POSSESS UNCANNY STRENGTH, AND WE SPEAK TO AND THROUGH THE MOTHERFUCKING VOODOOS

IT ONCE DID, WHEN THEY FIRST SHOWED THEMSELVES PRESENT WITHIN ME, BUT I WAS VERY MOTHERFUCKING YOUNG. RATHER THAN SUBDUE THEM WITH SOPORIFICS, AS MOST DO, I LET THEM WITHIN ME IN WHAT MAY HAVE BEEN CONSIDERED BY SOME AS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. BUT IT WAS FORMATIVE AND IT HAS ONLY DONE ME GREAT GOOD.

YES, THAT IS A POSSIBILITY. HE CANNOT DO THE DAMAGE THAT MY LORD COULD DO. THE PURPOSE OF MY LORD WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS, TO MAKE ROOM FOR HIS OWN BRIGHT AND SHINING REALITY. HE IS THE DESTROYER, AND THE CREATOR WILL ONE DAY REMAKE ALL THAT HE'S TORN DOWN TO START ANEW.

New horizons, Highblood! Go forth and rejoice!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject