Frozen AU, voicetesting. (Spoilers will probably be in the comments.)

[willneverletitgo]

So you say my sister is here. [Elsa's voice is so toneless, her face so carefully neutral and disinterested, that you would never know how close to home this hits for her. Her stance is rigid as ever; observers may note if they look closely that the crowned queen looks a little too thin, and tired.]

Assuming it wasn't impossible, what makes you think she or I would want to be together again? I think what happened the first time is not something that needs to be repeated.

Comments

[idkworldruler]

Well don't repeat it.

[willneverletitgo]

It's a complicated matter. Things are not that simple.

[idkworldruler]

Pnly if you make it too complicated. Relax and learn to love the bomb.

[willneverletitgo]

Control is preferable to relaxation. And you don't know what you're talking about in this case.

[idkworldruler]

Oh I know exactly what I'm talking about. I watched your movie and all of that.

[willneverletitgo]

I'm an 'AU'. Things went differently. When we were kids...

[No. Don't go there. Think of fractals, intricacies, geometry, court politics. Don't feel. Let the facts become dates and numbers, nothing else. The expression she wears is temporarily uncertain, but swallowed up quickly by her default coldness.]

[idkworldruler]

Let me guess, someone was seriously hurt or died.

[willneverletitgo]

Anna died.

[Fractals, picture them, in circles and not the sharp lines of what had killed Anna. Fractals of green and purple and not anything that she'd seen that night, pastels. Think, Elsa, who did the Baroness from Southern Arendelle marry last month and what was his rank and hometown?

No amount of thoughts keeps it all at bay, but although she has to take calming breaths, nothing happens. It doesn't even get colder. This is how she lives, one crisis averted per conversation, one conversation at a time until the day is done.]

[idkworldruler]

Nailed it! And let me also guess that you can't properly control yourself.

[willneverletitgo]

Insensitive as you are, you are wrong. Everything is under perfect control. There have been no incidents since that one. Discipline is key. [Never touching anyone, never allowing herself to care, thinking of people as Rank, Name, Hometown, Occupation instead of as people. It was amazing how the very work it took to keep things in control took up so much time she didn't have time to have a breakdown.

So long as she never stops to catch her breath, everything will be fine.]

[idkworldruler]

You know you should really let it all out. Maybe it would help you learn how to actually use and refine it, like in canon.

[knight_king]

Is your relationship with your sister poor?

[That seems common in royalty. Jealousy abounds.]

[willneverletitgo]

I am fine with the way things are as they stand now. I have no need for further use of it.

[willneverletitgo]

The contrary. We were quite close when she was alive.

[knight_king]

I see. My sympathies for your loss, then.

[idkworldruler]

Well obviously you are not.

[willneverletitgo]

I thank you.

Seeing her here would be... I don't know. Complicated, at best. I suppose everyone who sees their loved ones here has similar reactions. But I think it would be easier if she and I didn't speak.

[Elsa wouldn't know what to say. Where to even begin. Even queens are but human in the end.]

[willneverletitgo]

You have nothing to draw that conclusion from.

[idkworldruler]

You killed your sister and are most likely terrified of yourself.

[willneverletitgo]

Terror isn't the word for it.

[Guilt. Hate. Endless emptiness where Anna should have been in her heart. An inhumanity, as if she were not truly a person. Terror might be on that list somewhere, but not at the top.]

[idkworldruler]

So you don't deny it.

[Terror was one of the first emotions he felt, along with surprise. It was an honest guess.]

[willneverletitgo]

I have thoughts regarding the curse I was born with, yes.

[idkworldruler]

Don't think of it as a curse for one.

[willneverletitgo]

I don't think I'll benefit from lying to myself.

[idkworldruler]

It's not a lie, just think of it as a gift, like it is.