Canon is The Rat Queens Heading to mirage_universe

[thebigspoon]

Heya!

So...listen I'm flattered and all that you like me enough to muse me up like this oh giant being of nearly cosmic power or whatever you are...


...but I gotta get back to the girls. They really need me you know? I'm the best thief in town and more importantly if I didn't make sure they had enough fun they'd all be miserable.

So I'll just take that one drink for the road if you don't mind...and some candy.

...do you have any drugs? I could really go for some mushrooms.

I'll tell you what, put some Tequila, Vodka and two magic mushrooms in this mug here and I'll be on my way. They named that drink after me back home. It's a real trip.

Comments

[giantsofty]

...Miss, please don't take drugs.

[thebigspoon]

OK OK, That's a reasonable request.

...I'm going to ignore it though.

[giantsofty]

... Please... don't?

[He really doesn't know what he was expecting.]

[thebigspoon]

Alright "dad" I'll hear you out.

Give me your reasons for why I shouldn't and I'll probably still ignore them but you can say you tried.

[giantsofty]

Very well. I shall limit myself to three, although I could offer more.

Firstly, the chemical balance of living beings is intricate and disastrous when tampered with.

Secondly, procuring the drugs places funds in the hands of unscrupulous people that ultimately leads to innocent people being harmed.

Thirdly, the legality of taking them, largely due to the previous points, is questionable.

[What a damn nerd.]

Always great to see new characters in Mirage!!!

[owns_vice_city]

I got plenty of what passes for tequila and vodka at the Malibu club. You're gonna have to find your own mushrooms, though.

It's a pretty chill little world to stash my muses between games ;)

[thebigspoon]

Now we're talking!

And don't worry about that, if there are fun mushrooms to be found I'll find em! Heh heh heh

[owns_vice_city]

There's plenty around, I'm sure.

[Actually he knows there is. Who do you think has a corner on the hallucinogenic spore market in Casale right now?]

So you're... what? Dwarf? Gnome?

[thebigspoon]

Smidgen! It's an off shoot of halflings and gnomes.

But that's just a piece of the pie that makes up Betty~

[owns_vice_city]

I'm still learning all the different... races that exist in this new world.

[It was so much easier back on Earth.]

I'm just a garden variety Human. A businessman.

You mentioned you were a thief?

A wild Paladin appears!

[hungry_for_justice]

There are better ways to kill time than psychotropic compounds!

Re: A wild Paladin appears!

[thebigspoon]

Well yeah, but I haven't found anyone willing to have sex with a smidgen.

[hungry_for_justice]

You are...rather smaller than many humanoids prefer. And sufficiently childlike in appearance to make me think pedophilia would be the primary motivation of any who did.

I understand that pent-up frustrations can be hard to manage though, I nearly drove myself mad with repression when I was younger by rejecting my demonic side and everything I associated with it.

[thebigspoon]

Ooo~ sounds like you've got stories to tell. Is there drama? Romance? Pure psychological torment?

Pull up a stool and get something flammable to drink! I wanna hear!

[hungry_for_justice]

It is...not a difficult story to tell at all in fact after having told it to many others.

My mother, in her youth, was a paladin of great skill-but deplorably little sense when it came to romance. She ventured to the realm of demons, where she met and was wooed by Aramis, the so called 'Gigolo Overlord' of demons.

[Pause while you laugh that out of your system. And have some of that liquor for herself.]

She took his advances more seriously than even he did-she thought that he was truly in love with her and would forsake his ways. When she caught him canoodling with a succubus she was out of there in a flash-and eight months later, I was born. And at a very young age, I decided that I would 'avenge' my mother and take my revenge upon my father. So I threw myself into training ruthlessly, expunging all I thought of as 'demonic influences' from my life.

[lost_light]

Aw you're cute! [What is staying on topic?]

[thebigspoon]

[big grin]

Aw thanks! You're pretty hot yourself! I love those eyes~

[lost_light]

Why thank you! I don't get many compliments! [Big smile right back.]

[thebigspoon]

Really? You're kidding me! With hair like that? And a smile like that?

Well there 'a no accounting for taste.

[lost_light]

Well it's not like I see many people. This is my first time being in a place with a crowd! [She stretches out her arms and sighs.] Before I only focused on certain people. Even they didn't notice me all the time.

[frostythesnowpheasant]

[Suddenly a nine foot tall dude is talking to a little bitty thing. It probably looks hilarious to someone.]

I wouldn't count on getting back to your companions anytime soon, miss.

[thebigspoon]

Well gee captain buzzkill why don't you just drop some ice down my shorts too while you're at it.

Come on! How long can this guy really hold onto me if we're not going out and having adventures?

[frostythesnowpheasant]

I'm not as young as I once was: bending over that far could be bad for my back.

As far as adventures are concerned... well. One of the people I share "space" with up here was once kept in a game for one and a half year without any of his compatriots. I'd say it depends on how long they can find you amusing, even without your allies.

[thebigspoon]

Yeah, and it might take a few days for you to get down here.

[Whistles impressed]

Well...unicorn poop.

If they replace me I'll never forgive them!

[frostythesnowpheasant]

That too.

As for that, I can give you some good news. Most of the time these games do strange things with the passage of time- you can be in them for years, yet barely a day will pass in your own world.