Canon is The Rat Queens Heading to mirage_universe

[thebigspoon]

Heya!

So...listen I'm flattered and all that you like me enough to muse me up like this oh giant being of nearly cosmic power or whatever you are...


...but I gotta get back to the girls. They really need me you know? I'm the best thief in town and more importantly if I didn't make sure they had enough fun they'd all be miserable.

So I'll just take that one drink for the road if you don't mind...and some candy.

...do you have any drugs? I could really go for some mushrooms.

I'll tell you what, put some Tequila, Vodka and two magic mushrooms in this mug here and I'll be on my way. They named that drink after me back home. It's a real trip.

Comments

[giantsofty]

...Miss, please don't take drugs.

Always great to see new characters in Mirage!!!

[owns_vice_city]

I got plenty of what passes for tequila and vodka at the Malibu club. You're gonna have to find your own mushrooms, though.

It's a pretty chill little world to stash my muses between games ;)

[thebigspoon]

Now we're talking!

And don't worry about that, if there are fun mushrooms to be found I'll find em! Heh heh heh

[thebigspoon]

OK OK, That's a reasonable request.

...I'm going to ignore it though.

A wild Paladin appears!

[hungry_for_justice]

There are better ways to kill time than psychotropic compounds!

[owns_vice_city]

There's plenty around, I'm sure.

[Actually he knows there is. Who do you think has a corner on the hallucinogenic spore market in Casale right now?]

So you're... what? Dwarf? Gnome?

Re: A wild Paladin appears!

[thebigspoon]

Well yeah, but I haven't found anyone willing to have sex with a smidgen.

[thebigspoon]

Smidgen! It's an off shoot of halflings and gnomes.

But that's just a piece of the pie that makes up Betty~

[hungry_for_justice]

You are...rather smaller than many humanoids prefer. And sufficiently childlike in appearance to make me think pedophilia would be the primary motivation of any who did.

I understand that pent-up frustrations can be hard to manage though, I nearly drove myself mad with repression when I was younger by rejecting my demonic side and everything I associated with it.

[owns_vice_city]

I'm still learning all the different... races that exist in this new world.

[It was so much easier back on Earth.]

I'm just a garden variety Human. A businessman.

You mentioned you were a thief?

[lost_light]

Aw you're cute! [What is staying on topic?]

[thebigspoon]

Ooo~ sounds like you've got stories to tell. Is there drama? Romance? Pure psychological torment?

Pull up a stool and get something flammable to drink! I wanna hear!

[thebigspoon]

[big grin]

Aw thanks! You're pretty hot yourself! I love those eyes~

[thebigspoon]

Thief, rouge, liberator of goods both shiny and costly.

[lost_light]

Why thank you! I don't get many compliments! [Big smile right back.]

[thebigspoon]

Really? You're kidding me! With hair like that? And a smile like that?

Well there 'a no accounting for taste.

[owns_vice_city]

....and you just kind of announce this to people you're just meeting for the first time?

[hungry_for_justice]

It is...not a difficult story to tell at all in fact after having told it to many others.

My mother, in her youth, was a paladin of great skill-but deplorably little sense when it came to romance. She ventured to the realm of demons, where she met and was wooed by Aramis, the so called 'Gigolo Overlord' of demons.

[Pause while you laugh that out of your system. And have some of that liquor for herself.]

She took his advances more seriously than even he did-she thought that he was truly in love with her and would forsake his ways. When she caught him canoodling with a succubus she was out of there in a flash-and eight months later, I was born. And at a very young age, I decided that I would 'avenge' my mother and take my revenge upon my father. So I threw myself into training ruthlessly, expunging all I thought of as 'demonic influences' from my life.

[lost_light]

Well it's not like I see many people. This is my first time being in a place with a crowd! [She stretches out her arms and sighs.] Before I only focused on certain people. Even they didn't notice me all the time.

[thebigspoon]

That should give you an idea of how good I am if I can do that and STILL make a profit.

...besides at my size the list of career options is almost as short as I am.

[thebigspoon]

[wiping away a tear from that title]

Oh wow just...ha! You have come a long way then. Way to go sister! I mean it's not how I'D live but to each their own right?

[thebigspoon]

Huh...yeah I'm not sure I get that. Are you antisocial or...shy?

[lost_light]

I like people well enough. I'm just not...a full person.

[hungry_for_justice]

Yes well. It was rather disconcerting to finally launch my private campaign only to discover that father was dead, and his other children had already fought a civil war over his throne. The most unlikely of candidates had won, and so I was left so simply wander and reflect for a time.

Though at the darkest point, I thought I had actually fallen from grace and become a blackguard, and so changed my style to what I thought was appropriate and started raising an army of demons. My half-sister had to smack me out of that. Repeatedly. With her sword.

[owns_vice_city]

An honest thief. I like it.

[...sort of. He's far too used to being either sneaky or outright brutal to see it as a viable alternative.]

I dunno. You're short, but you're cute. I bet you could make a pretty good living as an actress or something. Trust me, I own a movie studio. Or I did, back home.