this won't end horribly at all. [canon: The Lorax]

[truffulacide]

You know, this...is actually kinda cool. Don't get me wrong; this place smells worse than my sock drawer and it's teaming with weirdos that make Mustache look normal, but at least you can tell it won't be boring. Throw in a bag of marshmallows and I might even overlook the fact that this is technically kidnapping.

[...]

- Don't give me that look. It's not even flagrant bribery! It's so - unflagrant that it might as well be charity! Good will from you to me. Mostly from you.

Comments

[madcuriosity]

Aren't marshmallows yummy! [Alice likes this man, he speaks her kind of language.]

[truffulacide]

They're pretty much the best food ever! All puffy and sugary and smooshy... Just thinking about them is getting me hungry.

[madcuriosity]

Maybe if we ask our writers, we can get some!

[truffulacide]

Good idea, but I think I already burned my bridge with this one.

Maybe you could ask her for me?

[madcuriosity]

Ah alright! Mr. Once-ler's writer, could we please both have marshmallows?

[truffulacide]

[woah, where did that guitar come from? hammerspace, most likely.]

Ohhh, I haven't eaten since last Tuesday, stomach's growlin' like a bear. Why don't you show us that you caaaaare... [hope you're ready for some sweet shredding.] So please, oh please, give Alice and me a bag to shaaaare~

[there is nothing bizarre about bursting into song on the spot, okay.]

[madcuriosity]

[Alice is in a fit of giggles. She finds this terribly fun.]

[truffulacide]

Na na nananana, do you really think it's funny that I'm literally starving? I might even have to eat my left ha-

[and lo and behold, a bag of marshmallows comes sailing through the air at his face.

...this would actually be mildly painful if it wasn't so embarrassing.]

[madcuriosity]

Eee frabjous! We did it!

[350pointsmile]

I'll be honest, I thought you were green.

[truffulacide]

Uh... [he raises both green-gloved hands and wiggles his fingers.] I kind of am. But only just a little.

[350pointsmile]

Close enough. Nice hat by the way.

[truffulacide]

[he'll tip it in your direction, pretty lady.]

It's my favorite. If you wanna make it big, you gotta dress the part.

[350pointsmile]

Another scrawny guy with big dreams huh?

[truffulacide]

Is there any other kind?

[350pointsmile]

Nope, to each their own. I just like my dreams a little more within reach.

[cursedtosleep]

And what, if I may ask, is a "marshmallow?"

[truffulacide]

...You seriously don't know? Haven't you ever eaten s'mores before?

[cursedtosleep]

I lived in the forest my entire life. If it isn't something that grows there, I'm afraid I've not had one.

[truffulacide]

You live in a forest too? I took a couple bags from home with me before I moved out, so I guess I've been pretty fortunate.

Anyway! Marshmallows are these little white pieces of fluff that are sugary and soft and really gooey when you bite into them. You can put them between crackers and chocolate and make these little sandwiches called s'mores, and you can even pound it into a paste to make a spread to put on sandwiches. [said in the most wise and sage-like tone ever:] They're pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

[cursedtosleep]

Oh yes, I grew up with my three aunts.

They sound delicious! I would love to try one.