[Oh. It's you. Light's eyes narrow briefly in recognition of Alexiel, and for a moment he considers playing this game of feigned ignorance, but no, this is dear_mun, and nothing he says here matters in a significant capacity. He smiles, though it never reaches his eyes, never comes close to resembling genuine warmth.]
Surely you of all people understand the meaning of necessary sacrifice in order to accomplish an even greater good.
[She's missing a few adjectives, in his opinion. Meddling is an apt one, all things considered - and yes, he absolutely interprets saving the boy as an instance in which Alexiel herself was playing 'god.']
[While Alexiel just affirms with a certain tone that gives no room to discussion or shows interest to argue or elaborate further. She isn't the type to go on in a rant to justify her choices.]
[It's still that casual, conversational tone from before, though the fact that he disagrees is also apparent. A sutble challenge. He isn't going to call her out on this outright just yet.]
Except you know just as well as i do that the analogy isn't apt. I reach out to stop the child from falling. Perhaps because I'm shocked, my hand is sweaty and the child's hand slips out of mine. Or perhaps, I lose my footing in the process. There's an element of uncertainty that exists because I am not playing god in that scenario.
You are limited by your species, boy. Those circumstances are the consequences of physical failings. I am no more human than you are a great angel to be affected by them.
There is an element of uncertainty. Did your other self never said anything? It was his choice, I only gave it to him. He could have refused.
This is not an unpleasant conversation. He is an unpleasant topic.
[His expression is impossible to read when Misa appears. But even if his features are cold and unforgiving, and the angles of his face too sharp from being too thin, 'god' still has a pretty face. Light raises an eyebrow at her. Despite the fact that he, too, is currently in existential limbo, he has not forgiven Misa for disappearing.
And perhaps he never will.
Even in meta, given the knowledge that Misa had little say in the matter, he still finds fault in her inability to persuade that mundane of hers to keep her in the house of horrors with him. After all, the Misa at the goddamn sex game got to stay with the idiot boy who has absolutely no appreciation of how useful her love can be.
And just maybe, maybe he's pleased to see her. Not because he cares about Misa, no, but because he knows she cares about him. Misa is a person over whom he still has absolute control over - and damn it all to hell, he misses it. He misses the knowledge that he was untouchable and infallible, he misses knowing that he had that kind of power in his world.
And what the fuck does he have now?
Wings in exchange for a fragile body, a body count without a perfect world to show for it, and an eternity of pseudo-existence trapped in someone else's mind. Every beat of his heart fills his arteries with bitterness.]
Hello, Misa.
[Reaching out, he gently brushes her cheek with his fingers in an approximation of affection. An old, familiar routine.]
[With Light having made the first move, it's like time resumes after stopping with his initial appearance.]
Light!
[Misa launches forward to embrace him, mindful of his more fragile body but still clinging to him for dear life.]
I missed you too! Darling- I missed you so much!
['Missed' doesn't even begin to do her feelings justice, but it's all she can think to repeat as she presses her face to his chest and sobs. Misa knows that he hates her for leaving; she remembers. And she doesn't blame him for it. But she prays that he will reciprocate her affection anyway.]
['Ugh,' is just about all Light thinks as she starts crying into his shirt. Regardless, he carefully wraps his arms around Misa as well and holds her in a warm embrace. Given his less than stellar physical condition, it's probably less secure feeling, but he is very reassuringly solid.]
I know you're sorry. [Spoken softly, it's like the rest of that unspoken sentence might not have actually materialized in his head either. I know you're sorry, but I'm not forgiving you.]
[It isn't alright— it will never be alright, Misa knows that. But Light is so kind to comfort her like this, when he's the one that should be most upset. She shouldn't be crying. She is with him now and that's the most important thing. Misa struggles for words, face still buried against his chest.]
[it's a rhetorical question, asked softly; it's as close to playful as Light might ever be with Misa. Indulgently, he holds her a little tighter - a gesture that incidentally makes it so that she can't see the total lack of amusement on his features.]
[Ashitaka quietly took a moment to consider Light's words, and after some inner-reflection, found that he agreed with them.] ...When put that way... I see your point.
Really, no matter what has happened in your past, you should always be able to move past it and continue on with your life. But even so... I'd personally never want to forget. "Holding on" without being "held back"... is a good thing, I think.
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Surely you of all people understand the meaning of necessary sacrifice in order to accomplish an even greater good.
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She looks relaxed.]
Don't play games you can't win, child. I know what I am.
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And what would you be?
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So I've heard.
[She's missing a few adjectives, in his opinion. Meddling is an apt one, all things considered - and yes, he absolutely interprets saving the boy as an instance in which Alexiel herself was playing 'god.']
But that isn't all that you are, is it.
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[Stated with an air of nonchalance, it almost sounds like he's actually trying to have a pleasant conversation... except he isn't.]
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[While Alexiel just affirms with a certain tone that gives no room to discussion or shows interest to argue or elaborate further. She isn't the type to go on in a rant to justify her choices.]
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[It's still that casual, conversational tone from before, though the fact that he disagrees is also apparent. A sutble challenge. He isn't going to call her out on this outright just yet.]
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Alexiel does not need to pick up challenges from children.]
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Is it common practice for a mere "cruel woman" to interfere in the natural cycle of life and death?
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[She offers nothing in return except her own question.]
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Or at least pretend you are.
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Only a fool would claim to know everything.
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[As far as taunting goes, this doesn't impress Light, but he's willing to bite for now.]
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[He can always ask his "other" self if he wants answers.]
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[And he sounds almost pleasant saying that.]
In any case, we've digressed from the original subject. We were talking about you, not him.
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[Why so curious?]
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You are there to reach out and stop them from falling.
Are you playing god?
Boy, you have no idea what it means to be my Father.
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But please, go on about your Father.
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There is an element of uncertainty.
Did your other self never said anything?
It was his choice, I only gave it to him. He could have refused.
This is not an unpleasant conversation. He is an unpleasant topic.
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[It's too cruel, being separated for so long only to see him today. Misa knows what day it is, and is entirely sentimental.]
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And perhaps he never will.
Even in meta, given the knowledge that Misa had little say in the matter, he still finds fault in her inability to persuade that mundane of hers to keep her in the house of horrors with him. After all, the Misa at the goddamn sex game got to stay with the idiot boy who has absolutely no appreciation of how useful her love can be.
And just maybe, maybe he's pleased to see her. Not because he cares about Misa, no, but because he knows she cares about him. Misa is a person over whom he still has absolute control over - and damn it all to hell, he misses it. He misses the knowledge that he was untouchable and infallible, he misses knowing that he had that kind of power in his world.
And what the fuck does he have now?
Wings in exchange for a fragile body, a body count without a perfect world to show for it, and an eternity of pseudo-existence trapped in someone else's mind. Every beat of his heart fills his arteries with bitterness.]
Hello, Misa.
[Reaching out, he gently brushes her cheek with his fingers in an approximation of affection. An old, familiar routine.]
I've missed you.
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Light!
[Misa launches forward to embrace him, mindful of his more fragile body but still clinging to him for dear life.]
I missed you too! Darling- I missed you so much!
['Missed' doesn't even begin to do her feelings justice, but it's all she can think to repeat as she presses her face to his chest and sobs. Misa knows that he hates her for leaving; she remembers. And she doesn't blame him for it. But she prays that he will reciprocate her affection anyway.]
I'm sorry!
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I know you're sorry. [Spoken softly, it's like the rest of that unspoken sentence might not have actually materialized in his head either. I know you're sorry, but I'm not forgiving you.]
It's all right.
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I'm so- so happy I get to- see you again.
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[it's a rhetorical question, asked softly; it's as close to playful as Light might ever be with Misa. Indulgently, he holds her a little tighter - a gesture that incidentally makes it so that she can't see the total lack of amusement on his features.]
Here I was wondering if you'd forgotten me.
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[Misa struggles to look up at Light, desperate to prove her sincerity, but she can't make out much of his face.]
You're all I think about! Always.
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omg you are awesome for playing Ashitaka
Circumstantially. [A beat.] Used as a synonym to suggest an inability to move on, the accusation can be irritating.
ty!
Really, no matter what has happened in your past, you should always be able to move past it and continue on with your life. But even so... I'd personally never want to forget. "Holding on" without being "held back"... is a good thing, I think.
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