(no subject)

[chafe_meister]

Ladies and gentlemen of all races and species, and those in between...except Krogans, let me offer you this amazing one time deal!

CALIBRATIONS OF ALL THE THINGS!

All the things.

All.

Comments

[thats_me_shepard]

I do not require your services, Garrus, but this is very generous of you.

Though why exclude Krogans? What if Grunt were to need a calibration?

[chafe_meister]

You sure? You're passing up a once in a lifetime opportunity here, Thane. I'm pretty good at calibrating.

[Shrug.]

Because they probably wouldn't appreciate it as much. Wrex is welcome to it though.

[thats_me_shepard]

Once in a lifetime... that is certainly quite the offer.

[He will ponder it now, but not say anything else on it.]

Offering this to the leader of Grunt's clan but not him in turn does seem a bit odd. Don't you agree?

[chafe_meister]

I thought so too.

Fine, fine Grunt as well. But that's it, just those two. They can feel special.

[thats_me_shepard]

Then perhaps I could take you up on this offer. I usually have no issues with up keep for my weapons, but lately I have had some difficulties with with rifle. Perhaps the expert calibrations from someone so skilled would benefit me.

I would go into battle with weapons in perfect condition as it were.

[A soft, if not very light chuckle.]

That is very kind of you.

[chafe_meister]

The only way the thing will be better, once I'm through with it, is if it could travel about and shoot itself.

[thats_me_shepard]

I would rather like to see that.

[Though really it was much more fun to shoot it himself. What was the point of being a trained killer if he didn't do his own killing?]

[chafe_meister]

I don't think I can do anything that amazing.

[Not with that type of calibrating, ho ho hooo! And shooting would be more fun than watching it happen on its own.]

[thats_me_shepard]

I am sure one day drones will come equipped with sniper rifles. As much as laser guns seem to be their forte.

[But your calibrating is LEGENDARY, Garrus. You can do ANYTHING. Right?]

[chafe_meister]

Now wouldn't that be something.

[Well, yes and no my space frog, yes and no. Garrus is pretty awesome and legendary, but there's just some things he can't do, it pains him to admit it. But he'll get working on the self firing rifles!]

[thats_me_shepard]

Honestly I am surprised they have not outfitted them as such sooner. They would make unsuspecting assassins, if also able to cloak. It is a good thing I am no longer in the business, it would easily put me out of a job.

[Perhaps a drink is in order to quell the pain of not being able to do everything, my space raptor... thing?]

[chafe_meister]

Yeah, consider yourself lucky you got out when you did. I can see a lot of people being really upset about it. I mean, there's no risk of emotions or feelings getting in the way. It's evolution. Or something.

[Raptor, cricket, he's heard it all. But a drink sounds good, unless it enhances his sadness, but who knows! TO A BAR! Or some other place!]

[dreamofdays]

You said all the things, y'know. So would that include watches and stuff? 'Cause mine keeps slipping cogs on the inside. Makes it hard to keep track of time, y'know.

[Please, Space Batman?]

[neuterskrogan]

Generous offer, Garrus. Not currently in need of calibrations.

In fact, would appreciate if lab equipment were left uncalibrated.

[chafe_meister]

[He humphs and aahs as he ponders over this.]

It falls under all the things.

[Sob.]

[chafe_meister]

None at all?

[WELL HERE, HAVE AN AWKWARD SHUFFLE.]

[dreamofdays]

Okay. So, y'know... could you please fix it?

[:)?]

[chafe_meister]

...I'll make it better too.

[neuterskrogan]

No. Have everything under control here, Garrus.

Sure someone has a big gun somewhere that could use calibrating.

[8|]

[thats_me_shepard]

There was never any risk of that, not for me. [Shh, only that one time with his wife. That doesn't count.]

But even if that did become the norm, drones could be hacked, and surely those worried of attack from them could set up fields that would disable them upon crossing.

Evolution, yes, but evolution, is it always for the better?

[chafe_meister]

Uh...okay, if you're sure. I mean, it is a one time deal. [Unless y'know...Shepard and stuff.

:| Don't judge him Mordin]

[chafe_meister]

Almost forgot.

Yeah but that would their problem, maybe they'd start to become immune to it. Yeah, I got nothing.

No.

[spacesamurai]

The code has rules on "calibrations".

Just so you know.

[unwilling_messiah]

[What. She leaves you alone for...however long and this is what happens?]

...Garrus, did you hit your head?

[thats_me_shepard]

Machines can always be built to overcome things, but then there is always a way to sabotage them. They are only as good as those who built them, after all.

Mm, life is quite the conundrum in that aspect.