rofl In which the muse's mind can be a disturbing place sometimes

[nolifeemperor]

[And there he sits on his throne, the immortal vampire and No Life King, Alucard. Staring at his mun with his infernal eyes that glow in the darkness of the basement that lies beneath his Master's Manor. For a monster who claims he is the true vampire that feast upon the blood, flesh, and souls of the living, he is enslaven by the seals and magical bonds placed upon by the Man who Defeated him. Proof of his metaphysical leash is shown in the alchemy sigils inscribed on his white gloves that bounded him with several restrictions like a dog to a pole.

And yet, he smiles. Placidly. Calmly. When he grins, baring his teeth, his sharp fangs shows.]


Oh mun, mun, clearly you're a scatter-brain! Perhaps, we need to refresh our agenda and goals of the jobs that ought to get done, hmmmm~? Everything will be done in due time, so have patience. Come closer, let's get in touch with me, your muse of the night, before the pen rests by the end of day and my voice hoarse and parched from thirst. Let's sort out my sincere intentions for the future events that is about to unravel. Let's be a little naughty before Master find this~.

Ahem.

[And he flips on the radio, the music is playing to the tune of the song, "Like a Boss!"]

Get more sleep and start sleeping early at 6am (which unfortunately muse and mun are hardly doing...)

Wake up early! From 4pm, I ought to wake up at 3pm from now on (ultimate failure)

Be a creeper Sneak up on Master before she wakes up at 7am (do you this daily before you sleep in your coffin, Alucard...?)

Brood profoundly (you ought to get out of the basement more and take an enthusiastic walk through the woods)

Get an apron and learn how to cook (Alucard, the gun is not a cooking untensil)

Do the laundry (know the difference between the detergent and the bleach, Alucard?)

Clean the coffin

Load my guns

Attend a tournament

Fight the gladiators

Win some prizes

Impress the girl Master

Burn the Helsing's manor to rid of the evidence

Buy a tuxedo

Get a bouquet of red roses

Attend a wedding

Shoot 300+ wedding guests randomly and commit homicide

Create confusion and havoc

Rampage and raging while destroying Church property

Kill the groom (the Major)

Kill the groom's minions (whoever is in the Millenium group)

Save the bride (Integra)

Get the bride girl Master

Make our escape

Become criminal fugitives by the Church

Get Wanted, dead or alive by the Church - preferrably dead

Scorn religion

Get to Britain

Get Master a new house

Make Master her sandwich

Disturbing? This is completely normal to my integrity and character, I assure you! So there. As you can see, I am busy being a very bad Monster~. Do we understand the tasks and each other now? Be off with you now and good night~

Comments

[integra_hellsing]

I see.

[ SMIIIIIILES as well, you jerk off. ]

Then I order you to never speak anything other than English in my presence.

[nolifeemperor]

...

[He smiles, smiles, and nods. Immediately, he decides to play her game.

She never did forbid him to speak the language of muted silence! :P]

[integra_hellsing]

[ she sees what ur doin' thur. ]

My, this works out to my advantage completely. Silence is golden, after all.

[nolifeemperor]

[He nods. At least now she needs to read body language and sign language.

But unfortunately, Alucard hasn't mastered sign language. He'll put that on his agenda list to learn in his long, boring nights.]

[integra_hellsing]

Enjoy your silence, then. I know I will~.

[ Thusly, she turns to leave~. ]

[nolifeemperor]

Hm.

[He'll bother her again for another night, another round, and a battle of wits.

Alucard is the type to enjoy a good challenge after all.]

[integra_hellsing]

By the by, you just lost. Again. 'Hm' is a word.

So sorry, Count.

[nolifeemperor]

No, it's an onomatopoeia.

Still, I need to speak again at one point, Mea Contesa. [Translation: My Countess.]

[integra_hellsing]

In my dictionary, it's a word. So there.

...Also, I understood that one. [ HAH. SHE CAN AT LEAST PICK UP COUNTESS MAN. ]

[nolifeemperor]

Excellent, you're learning.

[integra_hellsing]

Soon enough, Count, your whole vocabulary shall be mine.

[nolifeemperor]

Do that~. Conquer my language and I shall cuceri inima ta. [Translation: Conquer your heart.]

[integra_hellsing]

...Didn't I just order you to stop doing that?

[nolifeemperor]

You'll need to cast a silence spell on me to affect my status~.

[Except he's immune to that.]

[integra_hellsing]

[ YOU ARE THE MOST FRUSTRATING MALE SHE KNOWS. D:< ]

Or I'll just have your mouth sewn shut. That would work, too.

[nolifeemperor]

[But he thinks he's the least frustrating male ever!]

If you're fast enough to hold me down and do such a feat, I would like to see you try, puţin fatală frumusete. [Translation: little fatal beauty.]

[integra_hellsing]

I. order. you. to. speak. ENGLISH.

[nolifeemperor]

[Puts on his best British accent with a cockney dialect.]

Aye, as you say, little lady. Right and at em!

[integra_hellsing]

[ Okay that's it. She's just going to shoot you, now. ]

[nolifeemperor]

[BANG BANG, MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN.

Brb after he bleeds a little only to be regenerated in no time.]

Ha ha ha ha~ Oh Mama mea...

[integra_hellsing]

Alucard, if you don't listen to me and speak Englihs, I'm going to shoot your head off, and I can assure you it's not the one on your shoulders.

[nolifeemperor]

[Whoa, whoa hey not below the belt.]

Yes, my Master.

[He'll figure out a way to work through the loopholes somehow.]

[integra_hellsing]

That's what I thought.

[ Your balls. They will be missing if you do. ]

[nolifeemperor]

[Dammit, don't shoot those.

More complacent and obedient.]

Hm.

[integra_hellsing]

Looks like you just can't win, Alucard.

[ Smug. It is now her middle name. ]