[Warehouse 13; Steve Jinks] [Homeless; Considering Amatomnes]

[stevejinks]

So... this'll be interesting. I mean, it'll be great to be with my friends, especially Claud. Know she's safe after having to leave her in the Warehouse like that. But uh, seriously, can you see a guy like me at a sex island? My love life isn't exactly a re-telling of The Best of Penthouse. I'm pretty sure we've exorcised demon artifact spirits with better sex lives than me.

But I guess someone has to keep an eye on Claudia. God knows who she's gotten tangled up with there. And if Pete ends up there too, well. The team'll need an extra set of hands to keep him from getting himself killed in the first few weeks. Or days. Or .. hours. Depending.

I'm babbling now, aren't I? Good, babbling. You see how much of a bad idea this is? I can't even talk about being on a sex island without a mild freak out.

Comments

[groovytechchick]

[This is going to turn out awesomely. Oh, she's going to hate her life.]

I don't have a boyfriend so there's no one to interrogate. [SHE KNOWS THAT'S NOT GOING TO FLY.] Look, I've been on porn island for like... ever. So, no interrogating. Unless you suddenly want to find yourself pimped out, and I'll do it! Ask Myka.

[stevejinks]

[he gets one of those slow smiles of his.] You're lying.

And if you already did it to Myka, no way you weren't going to pimp me out anyway.

[groovytechchick]

I am not! [Not really. She has friends that help with the collar deal.] I have dude friends just not in the boyfriendy type... of way.

And wanna make a bet?

[stevejinks]

The "there's no one to interrogate" part, though? [he clicked his tongue]

Absolutely. I could use some spare cash, especially given that I'm apparently about to be on a weird island with alien money. Counting on you pimping me out on a sex island'll be as easy as distracting Pete with cookies.

[groovytechchick]

Dude, you're not interrogating my friends. I kinda would like people to turn to so I can keep breathing. It's a think I like to do.

You're making this too easy for me. At least Myka pretended to be pissy about it.

[stevejinks]

Not all your friends.

Maybe I know you too well. Besides, Myka does pissed better than I do. I could probably pull off moral indignation though if you want me to give it a shot.

[groovytechchick]

Dude. No. None of them.

[She shakes her head.]

Naw, that's okay. This just makes my job easier. Maybe I'll ask Pete to help, he's good with this sort of thing.

[stevejinks]

[his grin widens, but he lets it drop. This is so not over. Though at the mention of Pete he winces a little]

Oh, Pete already offered to help. There was talk of taking off his shirt.

[groovytechchick]

Wow. I'm not sure how that's suppose to help you but wow. He does know he has to wear a shirt around the B&B, right?

[stevejinks]

[Now that has Steve perking up a little] The B&B is on the island?

[groovytechchick]

Oh yeah! I had a place remodeled because Myka and HG showed up and with, uh, a friend staying in the apartment? It was getting a little crowded so I had a B&B built for us. Good thing too since you're showing up and maybe Pete.

[stevejinks]

That's great! It'll good to have a little piece of home there. Besides you, of course.

[And there's that smile again] A friend?

[groovytechchick]

[She quickly shakes her head.] Uh uh. We're not going to talk about that. Because that's all he is, a friend. [At least now. Or something, she's not even sure about that.]

[stevejinks]

You realize if I move into the B&B I'll figure out who he is pretty quickly, right? I'm not senile just yet.

[groovytechchick]

I know, but that doesn't mean I want to talk about it now. I mean we should be preparing you for porn island. Not talking about my non existent love life.

[stevejinks]

[he holds up his hands] Alright, alright. But I really don't get how you can prep me for porn island. You know my love life isn't exactly the thing for novels either.

[groovytechchick]

Mine wasn't either when I first got there. I had like no experience, nada. But, you have to at some point. You can get away with self lovin' for a while but that only works a few times.

[Of all the things they'd ever talked about, this could have possibly been the most awkward.]

[stevejinks]

Self--

[He choked. If he'd been drinking anything he would've spit it out.]

I, uh. [He cleared his throat awkwardly] Thanks. For the-- do we really have to talk about this?

[groovytechchick]

You want to talk about this with Myka?

[Because wow, that would be like reading a boring pamphlet and he knows it.]

[stevejinks]

.. okay, point.

Claud, you know I'm not.. [he rubbed the back of his head] I don't do well with relationships. Like, at all. You have any idea what it's like being with someone when you can tell when they lie to you, every single time?

[groovytechchick]

[Her expression softened and she sighed.] I don't, but I know what it's like not doing well in relationships. I mean, back home? The Warehouse kinda made dating impossible and here? Well, it's not exactly the best place for one.

I find it easier to make friends and become good enough friends so nothing's expected if something happens.

[stevejinks]

[he chewed a little bit at his lower lip as he thought that over] I've only ever dated once. And it-- [he tongued his cheek] I don't even know if I could do it with friends, Claud. What if I look someone in the eye while they're faking a moan? Kind of a mood-killer. Maybe I should just go blindfolded.

[groovytechchick]

Dude, you're hot. If anyone fakes with you? Pffft not worth it. But you know... I know a doctor we could totally tranquilize your ass. [She flashes him a smile.] And don't look at me like that, it would totally work.

[stevejinks]

Tranq-- [he closes his eyes and sighs, but he's also smiling] That might make a few other things a little too tranquil to function, don't you think?

[groovytechchick]

Oh. [She thinks on that. That would suck... But her expression lights up.] We give you half, that way you're happy and can stay happy, that or find someone who's seriously good at giving bjs.