[Warehouse 13; Steve Jinks] [Homeless; Considering Amatomnes]

[stevejinks]

So... this'll be interesting. I mean, it'll be great to be with my friends, especially Claud. Know she's safe after having to leave her in the Warehouse like that. But uh, seriously, can you see a guy like me at a sex island? My love life isn't exactly a re-telling of The Best of Penthouse. I'm pretty sure we've exorcised demon artifact spirits with better sex lives than me.

But I guess someone has to keep an eye on Claudia. God knows who she's gotten tangled up with there. And if Pete ends up there too, well. The team'll need an extra set of hands to keep him from getting himself killed in the first few weeks. Or days. Or .. hours. Depending.

I'm babbling now, aren't I? Good, babbling. You see how much of a bad idea this is? I can't even talk about being on a sex island without a mild freak out.

Comments

[getvibes]

Excusez-moi. I happen to make amazing first impressions. You're talking to the King of First Impressions, Jinksy.

[ He's majorly offended right now. If his face isn't a dead give away than the posture and tone of voice might help. ]

Sex island. Smex island. You'll be fine. Dudes'll love you.

[stevejinks]

It's not the first impression I'm worried about. It's the rest of them. We'll all be stuck on a pretty small island together, Pete, not a lot of room for hiding.

I-- [he exhales, rubbing his palm against his forehead] In case you hadn't noticed I don't really date a whole lot, Pete. I'm not exactly the king of picking up guys.

[getvibes]

[ The scoff leaving his mouth right now can't be human. He sounds more and more like a teenage girl as the years drag on. It's amazing he's not telling Steve to talk to the hand. ]

I don't hide. Frequently. Only when Myka is in one of her moods. [ His voice deepens and goes a little posh at that word. ]

You're a catch, man. I bet the dudes there will totally be lining up around the block for you. If you want I'll totally put in a good word for you. Talk ya up. Lattimer style. Not to be confused with Bering style which is boring and highlights all the less exciting prospects of dating you. She'll probably call you "reliable" and "safe". Boring.

[stevejinks]

Just imagine you trapped on an island with all your ex girlfriends with no escape. I'm just saying it may be a recipe for .. difficulties.

[He laughs a little, rubbing at the back of his head]

Thanks, Pete. I'll let you know if I have problems. Just promise to keep your shirt on this time?

[groovytechchick]

Hey! I'll have you know I've been doing pretty awesome on the island!

....

Wait, that doesn't sound right. Uhh. What I mean is, I don't need anyone keeping an eye on me.

[stevejinks]

Uh huh. So are you going to tell me who should be at the top of my interrogation list, or should I just start in on every boy who talks to you?

[groovytechchick]

[This is going to turn out awesomely. Oh, she's going to hate her life.]

I don't have a boyfriend so there's no one to interrogate. [SHE KNOWS THAT'S NOT GOING TO FLY.] Look, I've been on porn island for like... ever. So, no interrogating. Unless you suddenly want to find yourself pimped out, and I'll do it! Ask Myka.

[getvibes]

Who says I'll be dating them? It's a sex island. They gotta understand that hooking up is just part of the mojo. Besides Mykes would never let anything happen to me.

[ Pause. ]

Most days.

[ Pete tilts his head and purses his lips. ] I make no promises. I look pretty good without my shirt. Some would say slammin'. My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, Jinksy.

[stevejinks]

[he gets one of those slow smiles of his.] You're lying.

And if you already did it to Myka, no way you weren't going to pimp me out anyway.

[stevejinks]

I promise to bring you cookies wherever she locks you away at. [he gives his friend a wide grin] Maybe even some scones.

[he winces a little at the memory of Pete stripping his shirt to impress him with that particular 'milkshake,' but manages to shake the image out of his head] But you wouldn't want to, you know, distract anyone with it. Especially if your mission is finding me dates, right?

/threadjacking

[groovytechchick]

Did you actually just say that? Your milkshake? Seriously?

[getvibes]

Ohhh. Cookies.

[ And there goes his attention span until Jinks brings up scones. Talk about all the foods that he loves. You're making it hard for him to be made about this assumption that he'd be locked away. ]

I know you're lying to save my ego, but I'm gonna take it anyways. You think I got a hot bod and that's all I've ever wanted.

[groovytechchick]

I am not! [Not really. She has friends that help with the collar deal.] I have dude friends just not in the boyfriendy type... of way.

And wanna make a bet?

[getvibes]

What? What's wrong with that?

[ He looks absolutely distraught? ]

Is that not cool anymore?

[stevejinks]

[He can't help it; his friend pulled another laugh from him]

That's it, Pete. You got me. I cry about your heterosexuality every night.

[stevejinks]

The "there's no one to interrogate" part, though? [he clicked his tongue]

Absolutely. I could use some spare cash, especially given that I'm apparently about to be on a weird island with alien money. Counting on you pimping me out on a sex island'll be as easy as distracting Pete with cookies.

[groovytechchick]

No, no it's beyond not cool. That went out of being cool like ten years ago.

[She flashes him a sympathetic look.]

Sorry, dude.

[getvibes]

Well, you wouldn't be a Warehouse agent if you didn't cry about something.

[ Crazy or dead, man. Crazy or dead. ]

Claud's probably got a million guys just chasing her technicolored behind around the block.

[stevejinks]

Knowing her, probably. And I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't do my best to keep an eye on her, right? Make sure she's seeing the right kind of guys. Who knows what kind of creeps end up on a sex island?

[getvibes]

Aw, man. I miss out on all the cool slang working for the Warehouse now. Everything is either out of date or wasn't cool to begin with.

[ He's very distressed about this, Claudia. Very upset. ]

What else is out?

[thedetails]

I wouldn't worry about Pete. Considering the nature of the island he probably has a better chance of extended survival than the rest of us.

[groovytechchick]

Dude, you're not interrogating my friends. I kinda would like people to turn to so I can keep breathing. It's a think I like to do.

You're making this too easy for me. At least Myka pretended to be pissy about it.

[stevejinks]

Unless one of his girlfriends-to-be kills him, anyway.

[stevejinks]

Not all your friends.

Maybe I know you too well. Besides, Myka does pissed better than I do. I could probably pull off moral indignation though if you want me to give it a shot.

[groovytechchick]

[She gets an overly innocent look.]

Oh you know, stuff like slammin' and dope. Don't ever say dope. Or psych. I will disown you.