*jumps on the bandwagon* Spoilers for 03x01

[womanwhobeatyou]

Proud of yourself, aren't you, dear?

To have figured out so much, and missed just a few of the finer points. And yes, I suppose it is good to see Mr. Holmes back to his old tricks. And to know he's picked up a few new ones.

And for a certain Mr. Holmes: Really dear, I take my eyes off you to draw those idiots at the papers a map of all the holes in Jim's story and the first thing you do is grow your hair to that ghastly length and get yourself captured in Serbia? It's as if I can't leave you alone for a moment.

Comments

[the_new_sexy]

We were planning on taking a quick jaunt in that direction, were we not?

I simply...extended my stay.

[womanwhobeatyou]

And what an extension it was. I'm hardly complaining at the long lingering looks we got of you being beaten bloody while manacled.

Though if your brother's enjoyment of that particular beating were any indication, I'd say our plans with the photographs worked out brilliantly.

[the_new_sexy]

He's even kept Anthea on a significantly shorter leash. I approve.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Of course you approve. She brought you your coat.

[the_new_sexy]

It's the first useful thing I've seen her do.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Discounting her involvement in Vienna? And they may be right, you realize. I am a terrible influence on your 'people skills', such as they are.

[the_new_sexy]

Significantly discounting it, in fact.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Indeed. Would you rather I move on to more interesting topics of conversation than Anthea?

[the_new_sexy]

Deleting her would be brilliant, but she's far too important to Mycroft.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Indeed. All the more reason I think I shall pay her a visit or three.

Speaking of visitors. You had a very interesting one. Should I be offended that Dr. Watson gets to meet your parents first? [So much smirking, Sherlock. SO MUCH SMIRKING.]

[the_new_sexy]

[HAVE SOME EYEROLL. GOD THEY ARE SO EMBARRASSING.]

They would insist on calling you my girlfriend and going out to dinner and possibly telling you funny stories about what they did today.

[womanwhobeatyou]

[SO MUCH SMIRKING. Your embarrassment is just feeding her amusement.]

It'd be a pleasure. I expect they'll have plenty of funny stories about you as a child to share. And photographs.

[the_new_sexy]

No, they won't because you won't be meeting them.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Is that a hint of panic I detect in your voice, Mr. Holmes?

[the_new_sexy]

No. I'm not panicking.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Perhaps you should be. Because I have yet to hear how you plan on stopping me.

[the_new_sexy]

By being completely certain you have no way of finding them, ever.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Don't I? Don't tell me you think Mycroft roused himself to buy tickets to Les Misérables for them.

I told you I would visit Anthea.

[the_new_sexy]

Please tell me you didn't seduce Mycroft's assistant. That would be...embarrassing.

[womanwhobeatyou]

[She slips her hand into her pocket, and pulls out a possibly familiar mobile.]

Now why would I do that, when I can simply liberate her mobile? [scrolling through contacts.] 'Mrs. Holmes,' I wager, though that could well be your brother's contact listing.

[the_new_sexy]

[And have a very small smirk, because, yeah, that's funny.]

Calling from his assistant's phone. She might get excited that he's finally made friends.

[womanwhobeatyou]

[She sees that smirk, Sherlock. You're encouraging her.]

Oh hardly. Seems rather believable, don't you think? The poor woman little Sherlock has been seeing, just desperately wanting to make a good impression, but he's so stubborn that she has to take drastic measures just to say hello.

[the_new_sexy]

[Oh, no, no, no.]

We should actually turn this around on Mycroft....

[womanwhobeatyou]

[You see this grin, Sherlock? Be very afraid.]

No, I think I like exactly where this is going, actually.

[the_new_sexy]

She's incredibly disinteresting. You'll be wasting your time.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Our opinions on that differ dramatically, Mr. Holmes. I think she could prove to be extremely interesting if I invited her for tea.

[the_new_sexy]

My mother doesn't like tea.

[womanwhobeatyou]

And desperation suits you, Sherlock.

[the_new_sexy]

Lots of things suit me.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Like modesty.

I don't expect you to be in tow for this. In fact I insist you not be.