dear_mun | SPOILERS for Children's Crusade #9

Yes, you can.

This wasn't—

It shouldn't have been like this.

No, it shouldn't have.

But we did so much and we worked so hard to be Young Avengers. Everyone just leaving it like that...

But you're gone. This isn't like when someone like Thor dies where you know he's coming back, because that's what they do, this is not—

[Saying it isn't fair makes him a hypocrite, and he knows that, but that's how it feels.]

They don't always come back. At least, not how we want them to.

[ is she bitter that she got her dad back for like only five minutes before she died? maybe a little. ]

[It's just cruel.]

I wish you'd come back. What does that make me?

[Telling Nate he can't do one thing but wanting the same thing as he does - none of them were ready to be heroes. He gets it now.]

Human. Or, well... mutant, I guess.

You know what I mean.

I do. Yeah, I think I do.

But I'm gonna miss you.

I know.

[ she can't exactly say she'll miss him too since she's dead, but. ]

You'll take care of everyone for me, right?

I'll do my best, but... Man, Kate.

You two are the closest out of all of us.

Are you really going to throw in the towel?

I don't have a right to call myself an Avenger - not after what happened.

We never really had that towel to throw from the beginning, anyway.

[What were we thinking?]

The Avengers have made mistakes too. Lots of them, just as bad or worse.

I think you did good.

Some "good" that was. Some hero that makes me to be.

I should have listened.

People die.

That doesn't make it all wrong. You just have to give their death meaning. Don't let their deaths be for nothing.

How many people have to die before it stops being okay? How many people have to lose friends and family before it's time to stop?

We weren't ready for this. At all. And now Cassie's—

Do you think just because you stop people stop dying? I want that number to be zero too but... without what we do it could be millions.

Without what you do - but where do we stand with making a mess out of things we shouldn't have? Wanting to help doesn't always mean we're helping, does it?

What about clearing Wanda's name? Giving her a chance to help people herself? Think of all the good she can do now.

It's not us who won't give her a chance. It's not on us that— [Do you really want to call the X-Men names to one of theirs? Really?] I can't ask people to forgive her for what she did, but it's not like she's being given a chance.

She's done nothing but good. If Magneto and Emma Frost can be forgiven then why can't Wanda be given a chance?

[Heart breaking.]

You're strong. You can do it, Billy.

[How many times does it get to happen in a day?]

I don't think I can.

Well I do.

[And as your not!Mom her opinion counts for a lot. Quietly, but firmly, she speaks with conviction.]

I'm not saying it won't be hard, because it will...but you'll get your feet under you again and you won't let what's happened drive you down forever.

[There's no shame in tearing up in front of your mother, right? It's not as bad as it was, on the battlefield itself, but...]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I can't.

[No shame at all. Wanda steps toward Billy and wraps him up in a hug whether or not he wants it. She can tell that he probably needs one.

Clearly but quietly, speaks into his ear.]

Billy, you can. You still have people to lean on when you need it, and you are so much stronger than you realize...

They're gone. They're not coming back.

[And it hurts. It was stupid to think it wasn't going to happen to them; he always thought they'd have more time than just a few scant months, not this.]

What did we do wrong?

[A lump forms in her throat and she squeezes him a moment.]

That's an unfortunate reality of life, but I don't think you did anything wrong. You all did the very best you could with what was in front of you...

*not really here... ish. And yet.* You rely on the friends you do have and try to be there for them in return.

[Wet laughter. Friends? Two are dead, one at the hands of another, and two have left the team for good.

What kind of friends are they, now?]

Friends. What kind of friend leads his friends to die?

The human kind. Unless he meant them to die, which I won't believe was the case.

[Hurting, that kind. All the more in need of each other. Teams aren't the most important part of friendship.]

Also the kind who will have to face the fact that they also chose to follow him of their own free will and believing that what he was leading them to was worth fighting for.

And the kind who will have to realize that not everything is his fault.

But what if it was?

[Walking out on the Avengers, pushing the issue to find Wanda - and then it's one bad decision after another, one stupid idea after another, and for all the good it did he's lost four friends without having to lift a finger.

This isn't how kids are supposed to grow up.]

Is it always this hard?

It... yeah, it is usually this hard. But you don't always lose so much. [except when you do. Which ... he can figure out on his own.]

Making mistakes doesn't put you in fault. Intentional actions do. Your decisions mean responsibility, yes, but it's for putting them in the line of fire. The fault for their deaths lies with those who killed them alone. Not with you.

[slightly wry smile] As somebody who died where a friend led me... I followed willingly. Eagerly. I know it wasn't his fault. Does this help?

[billy smiles weakly. It does, and he wishes it didn't.]

Just a bit.

But Jesus Christ I'm gonna miss them.

*have a shoulder-grip? With his normal hand.*

Yeah, there's no way around that part... and there shouldn't be. It's part of being alive.

You just have to keep moving for the people you care about. Even if they're...gone

I don't even think I can do that now.

Why do you say that?

I could give a million reasons but really? It won't matter anymore.

We should have stopped when we could.

It won't matter? Your being alive will matter to your friends have passed on. Carrying on what you believe in matters. I won't claim to know your situation but you have to keep on going.

Quitting isn't gonna help.

I don't think I should be "helping" anymore.

We can't just--...

[he pauses, scowling.]

Just let them die for nothing. We have to stick together.

We're the reason they're dead.

[Tommy isn't sure what to say. He just knows that he can't deal with any more losses. Not right now.]

Billy... We can't just stop.

[Momma doesn't know how to be of help. Her children have gone through so much. Her friends. Her family. What can she do, but try to soften the wounds.]

I doubt you are unable to continue.

Everyone's got more faith in me than they should.

[Mom. He can say it now, he and Tommy can say it now, but look what it cost them to even get here.]

Do you think they're wrong to do so?

[She can tell that he doesn't believe in himself. She doesn't need to ask him, but she can't assume things. Not now. Not of her own child.]

I let it all fall apart, Billy.

SPOILERS for Children's Crusade #9

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CAN I CRY ON YOU

YES. COME TO MY ARMS.

Two issues in a row I'm crying over comics. HEINBERG.

sobsobsob

they all better come back. everyone else comes back, gd.

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dfjsldkf BUCKY

I haven't even CAUGHT UP WITH THE YA YET AND HE STILL HAD TO TRY HELPING

have tissues at the ready :(

I gathered. Then again, I've been crying regularly over comics already, so... water's still wet.

Re: I gathered. Then again, I've been crying regularly over comics already, so... water's still wet.

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