On the release of The Walk (canon is Zombies, Run!)

[voiceinthedark]

Okay, no. It came out yesterday. You've done two missions. How many have you run with me? Way more than that! Surely that counts for something!

I mean sure, Laurence sounds like me. But you barely know him! We've... we've saved the world together, you and me. What's he done? Except eat Curly Wurlys.

Okay, he does have good taste in chocolate. Mmmm, I could just go for one of those now. I wonder if-

No, that's not the point. And what kind of a name is Walker, anyway? It's nowhere near as cool as Runner 5. What're they going to do? Amble past the zombie hordes? Stroll away from Van Ark?

I'm just saying... don't get invested. He won't be half as cool as me. Obviously.

Comments

[quintuscursor]

[Just gonna chinhands here. dwi.]

You sound jealous, Sam.

[voiceinthedark]

No! No, I'm not jealous! There's nothing to be jealous of! Really.

[quintuscursor]

[Oh Sam, you doofus.]

I'm only teasing, Sam. We all know that you're the best, anyway.

[voiceinthedark]

[He is such a doofus. A doofus who huffs softly at Five.]

Well yeah, obviously. I've got skills, man.

[quintuscursor]

[Five merely smiles ever-so slightly.]

Mad skills. -That is how it goes, right?

[voiceinthedark]

Yeah. Absolutely. No-one's got madder skills than me. They don't know what they're missing Five.

[grantingwishes]

The best way to defeat a zombie is a potted plant.

[ Says someone who has never experienced real zombies. Details. ]

[voiceinthedark]

Uh... they don't have great reach really. I mean, that's getting a bit more up close and personal than I like when I'm dealing with the undead.

[grantingwishes]

They unfortunately worked really well against the undead that I created to slow down a friend. Not actual zombies, but the program still pulled off the designs pretty well.

I don't think I'd ever want to see the real thing.

[voiceinthedark]

Yeah well, everyone wishes they'd never seen the real thing. Resident Evil just doesn't seem as entertaining these days.

Why were you creating undead?

[grantingwishes]

To slow him down. He didn't trust my judgement, and it was the only way I could think of to grant our client his last wish. [ Wrinkling her nose. ] Maybe they were too slow. Zombies are supposed to be slow, though, aren't they?

You saved the world. Does that make you -- Chris Redfield? Or are you more the Leon type?

[ Someone has been subjected to too many video games. ]

[voiceinthedark]

Okay... I wouldn't generally advocate sending zombies after someone.


Depends which kind of zombies really. The normal ones just shamble, or crawl. Crawlers are awful. But there's some that can run. And use rocket launchers. But that's a different case.

[He snorts softly.]

I'm not really either. I'm the- the little voice in someone's ear telling them that there's fifty zoms round the corner so they'd better run.

[grantingwishes]

It's alright, they were all just simulations. To be honest, I think it might have made his week -- the only thing that could have been better would have been a rocket launcher.

[ Cringe. ]

But there was no way I was going to give Neil Watts a rocket launcher.

Then you're in charge of everyone's safety?

[quintuscursor]

Oh, I don't know about that, Sam. I think I have some pretty mad skills myself.

[Yup. Teasing again.]

[voiceinthedark]

Oh well, that's different. You're Runner 5. You're... well, you.

[voiceinthedark]

Oh, that sounds cool then. I would probably have loved something like that before the apocalypse. Simulations, video games. That kind of thing.

I guess you could say that. I'm a communication operator for my town. I direct the runners. I mean, uh, the people who go outside the walls to trade and find supplies and stuff. I've got cameras and stuff.