dear_mun | (no subject)

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canon: marvel comics

(no subject)

Whoopdee goddamn doo you put me in a dressing room. Yeah how long have you had that app open on your shitty Word knockoff? A week? Get fuckin' moving.

[I want to see more robots!

I want a burrito!]

I want a pony, sometimes we don't get what we want.

Also, Rodimus, baby, call me. I know you're single, I read your comic. We can do dinner or something.

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If yeh gettin' food, I wanna come! 'ho's Rodimus?

[IT'S A TINY DRAGON.

IT'S SO CUTE AND LITTLE AND CUTE AND LOOK AT IT'S TINY LITTLE PAWS]

...

I am getting you everything you ever wanted. We're gonna be best friends!

Rodimus is my future date.

[Cute and immensely bad ass. Brood fall at the immense badassery of the one foot tall purple dragon and X-Man. X-Dragon. Whatever.]

Ok, I 'uess. Fries an' pizza?

Kinda odd 'ame fer a person. [Says the Dragon named after a jet.]

[God they let anyone in there.

Except us.

Fucking bullshit, we're totally awesome and deserve to be on the team. Fuck the X-Men.]

Fries and a pizza it is. Whatever you want.

Well he's a giant robot actually, but shit you should see his hips.

Edited 2013-12-02 14:44 (UTC)

[Probably to do with the merc killing everybody and the DEAR GOD GET OUT OF MARVEL GIRL'S CLOTHES I CAN'T UNSEE THAT thing. Besides, he has X-Force for that right?]

Yay! Kitty 'ever lets me 'ave pizza. [A blatant lie, Lockheed!] You fancy a giant 'obot 'ude? Cool. [Lockheed often thinks he should start dating human girls but he doubt anyone has a thing for small dragons.]

[He looked fucking hot in that skirt.

We're doing it again.

Our ass never looked sweeter.]

Well you deserve all the pizza. Forever. Yeah he's pretty hot, bit mouthy and has shitty flame decals, but I'm willing to over look that for his stunning personality.

[He has a shitty personality]

Did I say personality? I meant ass.

Edited 2013-12-02 14:57 (UTC)

There's never a dull moment with you, is there?

[Who the fuck are you.

Do we know him?

Wasn't he in something? Could have sworn he was in something.]

Nope, pretty much the most interesting guy in the world.

Edited 2013-12-02 18:43 (UTC)

I know the feeling. It's kinda like the whole world wants a piece of you, for better or for worse.

Yeah but at least it's tons of fun.

Okay, you get points for tenacity.

[If anyone could appreciate stubbornness it's Rodimus.]

I'll grow on you eventually. Can't get rid of me.

You do realize, Wade, that talking to your mun like that will probably end badly for you, right?

[Agh, now the mun remembers and it's painful! Quick, think of X-Women in the shower and maybe the image will bleed away!]

See I kinda 'hough yeh had a thing for Death or somethin'.

Must you swear like that, Wade? You're setting a bad example.

Oh hey, Summers.

[Asshole

Aren't we divorced?]

Pft what the hell is she gonna do? I make the rules around here, fuck her.

[Whoops]

...

Words don't hurt anyone! It's just a few swear words, who's it gonna kill?

Summers now, hm?

[You're the one that wanted to divorce, Wade.]

Right.

I'm pretty sure you've thought like that before and it hasn't ended well for you in the past.

Yeah that uh... that didn't work out.

[IT DOESN'T MATTER]

Hey, I'm still here. That's the important thing.

Like the mun is going to think of a way to actually kill me, what's the worst she's gonna do?

It's nice to use nice words, and it can't hurt to be polite.

Are you not getting along with your mun?

[It totally does. He had to raise the baby by himself, Wade.]

Important thing. Right.

[An eyebrow lifts.]

I think you're underestimating how crazy muns can be.

[Shut up]

... She picked up me, I think I know how crazy she is. I'm in her head.

It might hurt me.

She's slow! Missed an entire app cycle and now we gotta wait! Her fault for being fuckin' lazy.

[You owe him child support money.]

You generally have a way of influencing people to do whatever you want them to do, Wade.

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