shinji, you fucker (
imusntrunaway) wrote in
dear_mun2013-01-01 09:57 pm
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exsilium!
I don't care.
...
It doesn't matter where I go. Here, there. It's all the same. I'll be used by others and I'll hurt others. It doesn't matter if Asuka or Kaworu will be there. I'll hurt them, too. That's all... that's all I do.
Why do you bother asking? You don't care about me. It's already done. And I deserve this.
...
It doesn't matter where I go. Here, there. It's all the same. I'll be used by others and I'll hurt others. It doesn't matter if Asuka or Kaworu will be there. I'll hurt them, too. That's all... that's all I do.
Why do you bother asking? You don't care about me. It's already done. And I deserve this.
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Maybe I do.
I'm allowed to think, aren't I?
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Maybe it would do you better to be more expressive. You always keep your sadness inwards.
[there's thinly veiled bitterness. A+ teenagers]
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Do you really care about not burdening me? Hurting me?
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... it wouldn't be right if I wanted to. Even if you aren't a... [He lets that sentence trail off.]
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the flawed, false individuality that craves validation through oneness with another person and how precious that pain becomes.]
You're too passive to ever want to hurt someone.
Your sadness isn't a burden to me—your silence makes me suffer more than whatever's bothering you... But I'm not the sort of person you would confide in, am I?
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People don't normally confide in the dead.
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Oh, things like death don't mean anything in a place like this.
Look, I can even touch you.
[I hope Shinji cherished his personal space, because Kaworu is skimming his palm against his cheek, his eyes alert and curious as he watches his face.]
And I'm warm and breathing, just like you.
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Please don't do that.
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Kaworu lets his hand fall, grudgingly respecting Shinji's request, but he doesn't know how to reconcile his feelings; he's angry, and sad.]
It's not because you think I'm dead that you would never confide in me.
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No.
I'm afraid of you.
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I even surrendered my life to you.
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LMAO OOPS i did the first post at work and i thought it didn't send!! disregard my doublepost.
You didn't refuse me.
It was either my life or yours, as well as the lives of everyone you know.
it's all cool
You're cruel.
1/2
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... how can you say it so calmly like that? You shouldn't just-- shouldn't be so accepting--
I don't understand you at all!
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I don't understand you, either. I could say you're cruel as well, Shinji. But what does that matter?
I guess I stopped understanding myself, anyway... Being around you hurts me, but I starve for your company. I never knew something so mundane could be so stressful. It's no wonder humans are so miserable.
I resent this vessel.
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I'm quite fond of them. They're so interesting. I feel like I'm always learning something new, but no one likes it. That is to say, they don't like me.
So maybe I do resent them a little bit for that reason. But that's nothing unusual.
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Is that how you feel about me as well? As... interesting?
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That's why I feel terrible inside.
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