mun finally finds time for one of her strongest voices

[soapskating]

It's about time, Mundane. Even your friend expected me here before you did. Funny how you only seem to lavish me with the attention I deserve when your life literally takes a turn for the chaotic, don't you think?

Redo the icons. Canon review a little. See about this real-life education business of yours so we have more time to focus on me (you're getting no help with scheduling, by the way, that's not my department) and then we'll see how it goes - and would it kill you to give me a little more free reign this time?

Ahh, but it does feel good to have a whole other medium in which to paint a picture of chaos! We'll see how long it takes the local population to try and oust me, as is rapidly becoming traditional.

Oh, and P.S. - here's your obligatory once-a-week complaint about having to share headspace with Her Royal Wet Blanket. Your human timetabling is getting to me. It's really quite irritating.

Comments

[cruel_kindness]

[Well, well, well. Look who we have here.]

Wow, I haven't seen you in forever. So how's being granite feel like?

[soapskating]

Likewise!

[Oh, he should have known this would happen. Then he could have looked forward to it.]

Well, aside from getting a crick in your neck, boredom is the only real problem. Why? Would you like to try it, Fluttershy?

[cruel_kindness]

[Oh, this is just too hilarious. Old Man thinks I'm you.
Um, that's... nice.
I'm going to play around with him a little.]

Oh, I'm not so sure I want to... But you seem really comfortable as a lawn ornament.

[soapskating]

Oh, relax, my dear - you know I don't do the stone thing.

[Flops back onto a colourful beach towel that just appeared out of nowhere and dons glittery blue shades.]

Well, that's the great thing about being a spirit. You're comfortable anywhere. Though I suppose now's as good a time as any to point out I don't seem to be made of stone at the moment.

[cruel_kindness]

You should look into doing it more often. I heard it's good for your back. And the rest of Equestria.

[soapskating]

I am in no need of joint therapy.

[Stretches out on the towel. There is a horrible metallic scraping noise like an articulated lorry grinding to a halt.]

[cruel_kindness]

[Snrk.
That kind of hurt my ears...]

But I insist. I wouldn't want you to not be able to move.

[Fluttercruel's holding back laughter. She finds this really, really amusing.]

[soapskating]

[He's glad that one went down well.]

Then hoping I get trapped in stone again seems a little counter-productive to me. Have a drink and forget all about it, hmm?

[Sips cider from a martini glass. An identical one pops into existence balanced precariously on Flutter's nose. Good luck with that.]

[cruel_kindness]

[...

...

>Alcohol

Fluttercruel flails and tries throwing the glass at Discord.]

YOU KEEP THAT BOOZE AWAY FROM US, OLD MAN!

[soapskating]

[The glass makes it about halfway before it morphs into a tasselled pillow and flops harmlessly on his face.]

And here I thought ponies loved apple products. Really, Fluttershy, your manners went out of the window.

[Yeah he's... not gonna move the pillow. It's muffling his voice a bit.]

But then, that was the point, wasn't it?

[cruel_kindness]

[Is... is it gone?
Yes, it's gone. It transformed into a pillow. We won't be having you transform into Princess Gaia again.
Thanks, Fluttercruel.]

Tch. When you're doing hay like that, you're not funny. And it's Fluttercruel.

[...Now that she mentions it, her colors seem darker and less vibrant. Her cutie mark's a helping hand instead of 3 butterflies, and there are barely noticeable scars on her body.]

[soapskating]

Well, bless you for correcting me. Really, it would be quite endearing if I thought it mattered what your name was.

[Although he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little interested.]

Because I'm really not interested.

[Welp.]

[cruel_kindness]

Fine then. If you're not interested, I won't tell you. Neither will 'Shy.

1/2

[soapskating]

As you like, pony. I assure you it doesn't affect me either way.

2/2

[soapskating]

[...]

[glance]

[cruel_kindness]

Hm? You want something?

[soapskating]

A double chocolate fudge sundae plus zap-apple sprinkles. You could get on that, if you like.

[Lets the pillow (and his shades) slip back over his eyes, and lies back and studiously ignores the pony.]

[cruel_kindness]

Sorry. We're all out.

[Just going to sit down on her haunches and pretend to admire the sky. Fluttercruel KNOWS her Old Man's interested.

Why don't we tell him?
'Cuz it's funny to watch him squirm.
That seems a little mean.
Meh. It's nothing compared to what Old Man did.]

[soapskating]

Then make it a mocha, my dear. Rule of sprinkles still applies.

[The tip of his tail is flicking from side to side just a little. Figures with so many different body parts one of them would betray him.]

[cruel_kindness]

That'll be 100 bits. Please allow twenty business days for your mocha to arrive.

[soapskating]

Put it on Celestia's tab. [Handwave.]

[...]

[Tailtwitch.]

[cruel_kindness]

[Fluttercruel mockingly bows to Discord.]

As you wish, O Drinker of Coffee.

[She slowly canters away to make the mocha.]

[soapskating]

That's Mr. Drinker of Coffee. Ponies these days.

[He counts to five... and vanishes.]

[Although that watched feeling isn't going away.]

[cruel_kindness]

[Fluttercruel, I feel like we're being watched...
Just ignore it.

Fluttercruel is just DRAGGING her feet. It's going to take a long while before she even gets somewhere where coffee is made. Yes, she's going this slow on purpose.]