So about that Live Fan Event and Sneak Peek

[kinginexile]

Still there are many who would dare stand in the way of our quest. That would question my right to reclaim the throne of The Lonely Mountain.

Even you, Scribe, would speak against me. That the stubbornness of dwarves will be the ruin of us all. Your words are not welcome, nor do I wish to continue to hear them. We shall step foot into the mountain once more, no matter what any may do to try and stop us.

[And that's that.]

Comments

[elvenking]

No. Fuck you.

Fuck your aunt.

Fuck your dog.

Fuck your party-pooping friends.

Fuck your beard.

Fuck your stupid huge boots.

Have a nice day.

[kinginexile]

No. NO YOU HOLD THE FUCK UP, ELF.

[YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. AIN'T CALLING YOU KING. NO ELVENKING UP IN THIS POST.]

Fuck you.

Fuck your dumb crown.

Fuck your throne.

Fuck your stupid hair.

Fuck your son.

Fuck Mirkwood to be QUITE honest.

Fuck your entire race.

Go fall into the fires of Mordor. Please and thank you.

[elvenking]

Nono.

Fuck you, dwarf.

Fuck your Conan.

Fuck your Santa.

Fuck your mountain.

Not compensating for anything there.

Fuck your stupid tiddly walkways over death falls.

Fuck your inability to draw a curved line.

Don't fuck your hobbit tho, he's cool and I can't wait till he's on our side.

I guess you can fuck your hobbit on the kink meme.

But then we get him back.

[kinginexile]

No thank you. I don't fuck filthy elves.

Wait wait wait wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Hold the fucking phone. Whatever that is.

Fuck your stupid tree houses and windy branches and antlers.

Fuck you and keep your hands off my hobbit.

I saw him first.

He's my burglar. You can't have him.

I even wrote my name on the bottom of his foot, so he's mine. I claimed him.

Find another hobbit.

[elvenking]

Fuck your Arkenstone.

we r serious rpers

[kinginexile]

[You forgot to drop the mic and walk off in a blaze of glory.]

I will burn every inch of that infested woodland down around your feet.

so srs

[elvenking]

That is what I have been trying to tell you.

[kinginexile]

And you think I will mind? You watched my home burn, I shall stand by and watch in turn. [Thorin you need to stop sipping the crazy dragon/gold sickness juice.]

[elvenking]

[Deadpan:] You astonish me when you say this.

Dumbass.

[kinginexile]

Sling names all you wish. I am done with you, elf.

[What is a dumbass anyway. How can an ass be dumb. Gosh.]

[elvenking]

[Donkeys don't talk. Hence, dumbass.]

At least until you watch my woods burn. You say one thing, then another.

[kinginexile]

[Just because they don't talk doesn't make them dumb. You elves are so above everyone though, so you must think everyone is a dumbass. Rude.]

Burning your woods down will be the finality. I only meant I was done speaking with you as you vex me so.

So...had to do this XD

[fuckelves]

Pay them no heed...anyone who stands in our way is nothing more than a fool to be crushed under our boots.

We will return to Erebor and reclaim what is ours. Conquering those who seek to stand against us will only make our victory that much sweeter!

[kinginexile]

I do not wish to start wars, but I will not let any, especially those who are not our own, tell me what I am or am not allowed to do concerning Erebor.

Tis our right, tis the right of our people.

[fuckelves]

Aye, well said!! We will not be silenced and tamed by those who abandoned us when we needed help most.

We will reclaim what was taken from us with our own hands; and no one may take part in the reward besides us!

[kinginexile]

I will reward those who have helped us, who stayed with us through it all. So far the halfling has proven himself to be a surprising ally. No doubt he will be a great asset as our journey continues.

As in his contract he will be rewarded for his troubles. I do not go back on what I have promised.

[fuckelves]

Yes, despite a rocky beginning, he has a bit more burglar in him than I originally suspected. He's a fine lad, and an excellent contributor to the good of The Company.

After all...he saved our lives.

[kinginexile]

More than once.

[Thorin though, had not given him the full credit he deserved for that whole troll business as he should have.]

The halfling will have a hearty reward when this is said and done, more so than his contract promised.

[fuckelves]

Yes, it only seems right and fair - Mahal would will it so.

And Kili and Fili - despite their shenanigans with the ponies, they are good, strong boys. They deserve a bit more than their contracts depicted as well.