NO NO NO NO NEVER (or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Canon Reviews)

[macarooned]

You're barkin' up the wrong tree, ma'am.

You know what I'm most famous for around these parts? Apparently hang glider sex with a teenage girl or somesuch. I know that I'm practically a '90s action hero, but people see my face and think "that one guy that did that one thing at that one game". I'm a laughing stock and... well, like grandma always said, "don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire". And just because she also said "a living dog is better than a dead lion" doesn't mean you can take advantage of that with me.

Pretty good username, though.

Comments

[waytobealive]

Does your grandmother have a saying for everything, sir?

Hang glider sex with a teenage girl? That story must have started it's rounds after I was assigned to Atlantis because I know I'd remember hearing that!

[macarooned]

You bet she does.

That wasn't me! That was not-me. Mirrorverse me. Or maybe not mirrorverse, I imagine mirrorverse me's got a really big mustache that deters women of any age from talking to him- but I digress. It wasn't me is all I'm getting at. Some guy that looks like me and stole my name.

[ His life is awful. Allow him to retreat now back into the netherworld of Mundania. ]

[waytobealive]

So does she have a saying about hang gliding with teenage girls?

Mirror-verse you huh? Not the weirdest ever thing I've heard on this job so I'll let it slide. Sounds more like a Sheppard story anyway.

[So terrible. Poor Mitchell. Lorne sadly has no sympathy]

[macarooned]

I think it was something like "shut up or I'll throw something at you", but there's only one way to tell...

Nah, it's an SG-1 story. Stories, even. You should see some of the files they've got locked away.

[ Well, whatever. Surely he'll get up crapcreek without a paddle at some point, too. Or another him. A crappy him. It's crapcreek, so it makes sense. ]

[waytobealive]

I think I like your grandma.

Oh trust me sir, I worked around SG-1 for years. I've heard many of them, some from the source. As you know, its not hard to get Daniel started.

[Crapcreek. Is that a technical term, sir?]

[macarooned]

[ Since he missed the point (or chose to), Cam'll avoid continuing along that line. ]

Jackson does have a penchant for opening that mouth and never closing it. Sometimes I like to ponder how many flies he's accidentally inhaled...

[ Super-official, big wig term. You wouldn't understand. ]

[ancientstalker]

Sadly, you humans seem to fixate on the negative.

[macarooned]

I said I liked the username, didn't I?

[ancientstalker]

After a rant about hang glider sex, yes.

[macarooned]

I can go back and edit it. Magic of the internet and being fictional an' all.

[ancientstalker]

Doesn't change the fact that I, and many people, saw it.

It really doesn't help your anti-glider sex image.

[This is the Ancient version of being a smart-ass, Mitchell.]

[macarooned]

I bet you get along real well with Jackson, don't you.

[ That is not a compliment. ]

[ancientstalker]

Unfortunately, Dr. Jackson and I have never had the fortune of meeting in this form.

[It's completely lost on Mr. Bland here.]

[bestofthebadideas]

...Hang glider sex with a teenage girl?

[macarooned]

I don't know! It mighta been not sex on a hang glider. All I know is I don't want any part of it!

Hooray for Farscape references.

[arach_nerd]

If it makes you feel any better, I just associate you with Dorothy Gale.

SORRY SO LATE BUT LAWL

[notdrfrasier]

Umm... I don't really think the hang gliding and sex were going on at the same time. [She looks kinda very awkward.] If it makes you feel better, it's only kind of remembered? It happened almost three years ago.

((OOC: I know this is beyond late but hang gliding, I still laugh about that one since I was in said game when said incident happened.))

I STILL CAN'T DECIDE IF REFERENCING IT WAS A MISTAKE OR NOT?

[macarooned]

I don't know the details and, if it's all the same to you? I think I'd rather it stay that way, Dr. Lam.

It's still somethin' that keeps coming up in all those "worst of" compilations. Between that and my handsome mug, how could anyone ever forget?


[OOC: Small favors, at least I feel like no matter what I do or how awful I am, I can never top that.]

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. We're loling on plurk over it

[notdrfrasier]

[Her cheeks flush and she quickly holds her hands up.] I don't really know the details, I mean, I heard about it but.... Uh, I was over at Vala and Daniel's apartment decorating for Christmas when it happened. And uh, I don't...

How about we just change the subject?

((OOC I don't think anyone can top that one.))

man i'm just 2cool then

[macarooned]

How about you just tell me about how tacky Vala's decorations were and how Jackson hated it probably because of some blahblahblah aliens and Egypt and Santa Claus is secretly Zeus or something.

[macarooned]

...Zeus isn't really Santa Claus, right? Or is that only those Norse folk?

[notdrfrasier]

You know Vala, I think she keeps her Christmas lights up all year, and Daniel, he just lets her do whatever she wants because she's Vala and she's going to no matter what. Oh, and they got married by the way. [She's just going to throw that out there before she moves on lalala.]

And, uh.... I thought Santa Claus was a deviation of Saint Nicholas....

[macarooned]

I'm sure the electric bill's enough to make a grown man cry for his gramma. [And thank the heavens that it's not him in that situation.] You know... I always kinda saw that. All that unresolved sexual tension is painful to be around.

Or, maybe it's the yelling. Either way, I think I might need a Tylenol or two.

Haven't heard of any Saint Aliens, though. Wonder how that works out...

[notdrfrasier]

You probably don't. But you know what I try really hard never to think about? Their sexual tension and all that...It kinda makes being around them awkward. [She shakes her head.] But I think you'd need more than Tylenol if you were there on the island. Adria's there too.

I wouldn't even know. I try to leave all that weird--er stuff to you guys.

[artsy]

I feel like I should have a button that says: Hang gliding accident: I was there. It was pretty horrible on so many levels.

[macarooned]

I hope you chopped my head off, set my body on fire, and sprinkled holy water on the ashes and claimed me possessed. I wouldn't even mind if you did a little dance on my doppelgangers grave, ma'am.

[artsy]

It was more a watch-with-awkward-horror-and-back-away-slowly situation.

[badmanners]

[ ... Yep. He remembers. Which his lineface, lack of dialogue, eye-rolling, and swigging from this beer should translate. ]

[macarooned]

...sir? [He clears his throat and offers a sincere salute. (Sempai, please notice me!! You're so cool!!)]

[impavid]

Could be worse. You could have gone to jail and and grown a beard.

OMG LOLING

[theliar]

That certainly was not the way I intended to spend my first Earth-bound holiday season. I was going suggest that perhaps most people had forgotten about it but... as it would seem it still haunts the memories of us all. How disturbing.

Though I don't know what deceased felines have to do with any of it.

[I, as many others, was TOTALLY there for that.]