s9 premiere. spoilers in comments

[wayfare]

Okay. Listen. I know — no, listen. I know you're upset. But I got it eventually, alright? When it mattered. I listened, like in that chapel. I mean, what else was I going to do? It's Dean. But you were really worried, weren't you. Did you really think I was going to...

How well do you know me, anyway?

Comments

hi.

[christbitch]

Better than most, but not as well as some?

[ 'what happened' is on the tip of her tongue, but she bites it back for his sake. she figures he'll fill her in eventually. ]

<3

[wayfare]

That's a short list, these days. But yeah. I guess.

[ her pause gives him enough time. ] It's just — she's doubting me, you know. Again.

<333

[christbitch]

Why? What are they doing?

[wayfare]

I. [ he swallows. ] I was dying. And I had to make a choice. To fight.

[christbitch]

And you made that choice. The right one, whatever it was. [ right? ]

[wayfare]

[ nods. right. ] Yeah. I had a little help, but, you know. [ his mouth quirks up, all poor sarcasm and deflection. ] A little help from your friends is good, once in a while.

[christbitch]

Oh, I'm dying to know what that means.

[wayfare]

Wait until the LP. Limited edition. [ sam can be a smartass when he wants, but he can't sustain it like dean. bethany's only trying to help, after all.

he takes a deep breath. ] Dean, he. Well, it wasn't him, but. That choice I had? He helped me make it.

you get her too because i'm watching the movie /dealwithit.gif

[jagerin]

I think you left off the end of one of those sentences.

[ gretel, pls. ]

still haven't watched it

[wayfare]

For a reason, yeah.

bitch get on that

[jagerin]

...Right.

[ her mind flashes back to muriel's wand, buried beneath her supplies and bloodstained clothes. she thinks she gets it, even if she doesn't know the situation. ]

getting on it f'real

[wayfare]

[ just shrugs. you're not getting a reaction out of him. ]

fuck yeah i'll restart the dvd if you want to dl it

[jagerin]

[ wow rude ]

too drunk tbh let's reschedule for later this week

[wayfare]

[ wow, presumptive. ]

assuming i'm not too busy okay

[jagerin]

[ wow maybe you're not the only one with a codependent sibling ]

your schedule is my schedule

[wayfare]

[ well then maybe you could show a little sympathy? 'cuz if your codependent sibling just nearly died, maybe you know there'd be a little anger. ]

i will let you know because everyone should watch this movie

[jagerin]

[ fine, you have it. they should start a union or something ( although gretel's probably more similar to sam than she is to dean ). ]

done

[wayfare]

[ hey, you want to start a union? go ahead. you'll get a lot of applicants with classic rock last names, though. ]

Why do you care, anyway?

[rocksalts]

They always worry Sammy.

[wayfare]

Yeah, but how could she think — I mean, you were right there, Dean. How could she think I'd choose anything else?

[rocksalts]

Never know Sammy. Had me worried for a bit y'know.

[wayfare]

[ frowns. needs a chaperone, right? ] Sorry to disappoint.

Forgive the rusty voice.

[rocksalts]

Dude, I said worried, not disappointed.

not rusty at all <3

[wayfare]

Sorry. I'm just —

[ he could explain the emotions here, but dean doesn't want the explanation. ]

You don't have to worry.

<3 Couldn't resist though.

[rocksalts]

I get it, we all got shit to deal with. We just do better together Sammy.

[wayfare]

You hear me disagreeing? [ c'mon, man, give him some credit. he just turned his back on death for you.

his shoulders slump a little as the anger fizzles. ] I'm not going anywhere, Dean.

[freetobe]

You tend to give reason to worry.

[Not said unkindly, but you know Cas. Well-meaning, but blunt.]

[wayfare]

Yeah. I know. [ said with all the weight of a man who knows just how much he's messed up. still: ] But this time — this time she needed to trust me.

[freetobe]

They never do when they need to. [Said with the weight of someone whose choices are never trusted... because they tend to be wrong.] I'm... glad to see you doing better.

[wayfare]

They don't really get it. [ his brow furrows in sympathy. if castiel's wrong, sam doesn't see it that way. ] Thanks. I'm — I don't really remember what happened, but whatever the trials did, I guess it went away.

[freetobe]

[Castiel would like to ask about Ezekiel, if Sam met him - after all, Castiel does remember Sam's excitement upon initial contact to celestial beings, and while the adoration might have dimmed, Ezekiel is good - has to be good, unlike Hael, has to be - he doesn't. Something about how Sam claims not to remember...]

That's fortunate to hear. I understand for a while the situation was... dire. I regret I couldn't help.

[wayfare]

[ blissfully ignorant over here. sam's quick to jump on what sounds like guilt. ]

No, that's okay. Dean says you lost your grace. You're human?

[freetobe]

[Don't both of them always sound like that? Weighed with guilt. Strange, how they have so much in common these days.]

Yes. Metatron... tricked me. He removed my Grace and used it for the spell that expelled all of us from Heaven.

[wayfare]

[ strange, but then again: here are two people ready to believe in true, universal good. ready to think the best of others, ready to give the benefit of the doubt — right up until the moment they're stabbed in the back. (and isn't it easy to see why dean thinks he needs to protect them both?) ]

So that explains the angels falling. But their grace wasn't removed? They still have strength and healing, and all that?

[ was it just cas, who lost his grace? sam's exression crumples with concern. ] I'm so sorry, Cas.

[freetobe]

It's an opportunity.

[That's all he can say right now. As much as Castiel clings to the good of this, to seeing his siblings find their own purpose, do what they like instead of being... hammers, for higher purposes that are not theirs.

But deep down, there's an ache of something missing. Part of the hive or not, Castiel is an angel, and all that has been taken from him. It's not the end of the world, certainly.

But it's the end of something else he can't quite fathom.]

My siblings can find their own place in life. Like I did.

[wayfare]

Sure, but Cas... it's not like you dropped to earth with full knowledge of our quirks.

[ the boy with the demon blood; it's a memory sam recalls often (a memory lucifer favored, taunting sam with the rejection in increasingly loud loops). ]

It took years for you to even -- [ sam's about to rattle off a bunch of things cas still doesn't get, but stops. dean will do that enough, and he doesn't want to shoot down the idea. not yet. ] ...even understand the purpose of finding your place. Kinda takes a belief in free will, y'know?

[freetobe]

I could help them.

[Like... he had attempted to help Hael. That hadn't exactly turned out all that well, and most of them were confused and hurt to the point where they'd rather kill him than learn to embrace this, or direct their ire towards Metatron.

Granted, for that to happen he'd actually have to tell them, and Castiel has the sinking suspicion that they won't be all that inclined to listen.

His siblings can be stubborn like that.]

For all they've lost, they can stand to gain so much, too. They're not without powers or use.

[bloodcursedseer]

I get the feeling I don't want to know what happened.

rushes in at a steamroller pace

[shrikes]

What, did she think you were going to abandon your brother? [ because L O L ]

steamrolled by your excellence

[wayfare]

[ he's glad to see you, because this is bullshit. ]

Yeah. She did. And you know what, I'm kinda tired of being second-guessed.

good u keep those rose-coloured blinders on nice n tight

[shrikes]

[ somehow abigail doesn't think she really did think sam was going to -- just needed enough of a rise out of him to get him out the door. but hey, since she doesn't hate the result. ]

No idea what that feels like.

tight's my only mode tbh

[wayfare]

[ she did. and, what's worse: she actually wanted him to. sam knows, he can hear it, and he hates that she might be right.

he grimaces. ] Yeah. Well. Then you know how much it sucks.

[ he's apologized a lot already. he will again, but he doesn't want to. ]

[shrikes]

Yeah, it sucks. But you're in one piece, and you enough to be complaining about it. [ there have been worse days ]

[wayfare]

I'm not complaining, I'm— pointing out the problems with this situation. I don't exactly feel comforted knowing she's running the show. [ quieter: ] I've had enough people in my head already.

[shrikes]

You'll just have to get into hers.