On reviewing her TOS counterpart

[drcmarcus]

I'm sorry, I need a moment to process this.

A child? I find that incredibly hard to believe. I know myself. I wouldn't be so foolish as to allow for a mistake like that and Starfleet contraceptive implants are incredibly effective. Not to mention that Jim... I can't see Jim... it's just too much to wrap my mind around. Which is exactly why I presume it was a mistake and certainly not something that was planned by any means. Never mind the total lack of a sexual relationship.

Not that Jim isn't a wonderful man. I just can't picture him as someone interested in the idea of children. Or settling down with one woman long enough for that to even be a topic of conversation. It couldn't end any way but badly. In fact it did end badly. One could argue that it started badly seeing as that other version of... of me didn't even tell the boy who his father was. I find that incredibly cruel and don't like in the least what it says about me or my character.

Horrible life choices aside, none of that really matters. The circumstances there were completely different so I don't see why you felt the need to share that bit of information. I was perfectly fine not knowing. Ignorance is bliss. As it is I don't think I'll be able to look the Captain in the eye for quite some time without feeling the need to apologize for something that hasn't even happened.

You are a cruel mun and I am appalled by your lack of decency in this matter. I believe a stiff drink is in order.

Comments

[drcmarcus]

You don't get to speak to me about any of it. Not at all, not a single word or so help me...

[warriorsmind]

Or you'll what, exactly, Carol?

[drcmarcus]

I will find a way to make you eat your words.

*Okay, so maybe threatening madmen wasn't the smartest thing to do but the loathing she felt towards him made her more than a little irrational.*

[warriorsmind]

Still angry with me I see...

Fine lets change the subject, shall we?

...I am sure you saw the original me's fate. [A bitter smile.]

Doesn't that please you?

[drcmarcus]

Angry? You think I'm angry? I loathe your very existence.

*His fate was too kind if you asked her.*

Not nearly enough. It was as a direct result of your alternate's interference that that boy wound up dead. You set the pieces into motion with your need for revenge. What happened to you was far too kind.

[warriorsmind]

Yes, yes.

You saw his fate, the alternate me suffered far longer than dying on a ship. I think death was better off than the life he had suffered those years. On that planet, that Kirk left him on.....

[He knows that eventually it became a fight for survival and that people, his people killed one another. His wife whom, knowing himself would have cared deeply for human or not died a terrible death to those creatures. And that the boy his alternate self viewed as a son died in his arms. He knew why the alternate version of him had done the things he did, and if put in that situation he would have done the exact same.]

You blame him for the boy's death? That's a bit of a reach....He didn't have him fight for a Vulcan's life on a dying planet. A human thinking he can take on a Klingon.....

Eventually that little science project would have been used and the Klingons would have caught wind of it and wanted it.

[drcmarcus]

My thoughts exactly. You should have been left to suffer, horrible creature that you are. And that planet was teeming with life when that other version of you was left. There was no way Jim could have predicted what would happen to it.

*Not at the time. The Captain was not a cruel man. Had he known she doubted he ever would have let someone to that fate. He would have found an alternative. But Carol? Carol could blame Khan. Khan had been the one to set in motion the events that led to David's death. Even though he wasn't her son, he'd been the son of what that Carol Marcus had become.*

A dying planet that would never have existed if not for you and your schemes. Even if the Klingons had heard of it, the project would have had more time. It would have been more stable. It might have... it might have done some real good. That doesn't change the fact that David was a bright boy who didn't deserve the fate he got.

[warriorsmind]

The boy died a warriors death, a brave honorable death. You should be proud of what he did to save the Vulcans.

[ Kirk was more cruel than he let on, Khan had seen the way Kirk had treated him when he was younger, before he knew Khan he was already judging him, and that Khan hated Kirk for.]

I forget Kirk is a saint in your eyes...

[drcmarcus]

The fact remains that he never should have died. He was young, full of potential, and it was taken from him.

*That Jim Kirk was more cautious, and he had every reason to be. He was a man that went off his instincts and he'd been correct, hadn't he? Khan had gone so far as to attempt a mutiny aboard the Enterprise.*

Far from it. That doesn't change that for all his many faults he's still a good man, and a better Captain.

[warriorsmind]

Just think, Carol you could go shack it up with Kirk now and make a new David to have, I doubt his life would end the same way, he might even live and have long life.

[Oh he is going to get angry over that comment, he reaches over grabbing her shoulder roughly.]

Better, Captain?

[drcmarcus]

You are both crass and callous.

*Good. She's glad he's angry. She's angry. It's only fair she gets the chance to return the favor.*

He died to protect each and every one of us when he could have easily given up or chosen not to go alone.

[warriorsmind]

[At least when she was angry she looked him in the eye. He glares.]

I would die as many times as it takes to save my crew! You know nothing, you only assume I am a cold careless monster. My crew is just as important if not more so to me as it is to Kirk....

[He applied pressure to the spot he was holding, not to break just to cause pain.]

Don't be mad at me for something you believe is the alternates fault. I doom your unborn bastard to die on a planet that will never exist. You aren't out playing god you are playing with weapon a in this life, are you not?

Be mad at me for London, your leg, your Father, and my other trespasses.... The Klingons killed David, not me.

[drcmarcus]

And yet you ran away. You took retribution because you assumed they'd been killed after you escaped alone. Assumption, not concrete knowledge was what led to your attack on London. It's easy to say what you would or would not do but it's a man's actions that speak far louder than any words that come from his mouth. Your actions spoke volumes.

*She grits her teeth against the pain and uses every ounce of training she's ever had to keep from making a sound.*

You're right. I have plenty of reason to hate you without taking the death of a boy that is not my own into account.

[warriorsmind]

[He pulls his hand back as if to smack her across the face. Instead he pulls her closer using the hand he has on her shoulder, squeezing harder as he does so. His voice spoken dangerously quiet.]

You think you know everything, you think you have it all figured out. I didn't run, I lied to Kirk. I told him I escaped to make him believe I was weak, and needed his help. It was in fact a plan gone wrong, yes I left them but I was in the process of getting them when I heard that the your father had destroyed them.

I destroyed a section of London, out of revenge. Kirk is no different for Pike, he dragged his crew into a hostile space to a Klingon world, just to capture or kill me. He got two of his own men killed because of that.

He would have gotten himself and Spock and that woman killed of it hadn't been for me. He doesn't think, he only acts.

You act as though the more you remind me about London, that eventually I will fall at your feet and say I am sorry. You are only humans, I feel no remorse in killing something so weak....

Why should I when your kind just as easy to deem us monsters and hunt is like dogs.

[drcmarcus]

*Expecting the unexpected from him is something she's getting far too familiar with. It's a familiarity that she has no interest in.*

You can say whatever it is that you want to say. You can use whatever manipulations you think will make a difference. They make none. What you did in London you did without confirmation.

What you did in San Fransisco, and everything you've done since... I expect no remorse from you. I expect no apologies. We are what we choose to be. We are what we make of ourselves. And you, you have made yourself a monster. You have made yourself someone to be hunted.

Kirk has made his own calls, and while they may not always be right, they might not always be what most people would consider sane, he does them with noble intentions. He learns. He grows. He is doing the best he can with what he's been given and he has done a damn fine job of it. You might have saved them but if he'd done what he was originally sent to do, you would have been dead.

There's the major difference between the two of you though. He paused. He chose to make a different call. You took someone very important from him and he made a different call.

[warriorsmind]

What about on the bridge of Vengeance? I hadn't planned on attacking him, or breaking your leg or crushing your father's skull, I was standing there. Following Kirk's lead and he had Scotty stun me unprovoked. So knowing I was betrayed I attacked.

[Much like a threatened animal. Another flaw in his creation, quick enraging, though you know that don't you, Carol?]

Betrayal after I helped him, I saved his life again in space, floating blind...

[He lets go of her shoulder, shoving her slightly away out of his personal space. She infuriates him so much, and not even because her last name is Marcus.]

I didn't ask him to spare me, though I am grateful because, my crew was spared.

[drcmarcus]

How was he to know that? How was he to know what you would or would not have done? That phaser was set to stun, not kill. Letting you go, leaving you free was not the right thing. Killing you after what you did to Pike was an option he could have chosen but that was not the right thing either. You would have faced justice in a court of law.

*Carol scoffs at that.*

You helped him because you needed him. There was nothing philanthropic in your actions. You were using him. You said it yourself.

*The shove sends her stumbling and she keeps up her glaring.*

And what will you do with them now? What are your plans? Are you going to better the galaxy?

[warriorsmind]

Court of law...what would they done with me Carol? It takes a lot to kill me, for my crimes I would have been put to death... Kirk claims he would have looked out for my crew... .

But wake them up and tell them their leader is dead, they wouldn't be happy, let them sleep forever I suppose...seems a fate worse than death, sleeping for so long, it is terrible. You don't dream, it is nothing, I dreamed of nothing for three-hundred years.

Now...? We want to find our place in the galaxy.... I want a place to call home and to rule. Make a society, some of my people had expressed wanting children before.

Maybe just a planet....not the one alternate Kirk gave alternate me. Ruling the galaxy is a hopeless endeavor. Even I see and understand that. I would die of old age before I could completely take the galaxy...

As for my work before, once again there are so many lower species it would take too much time, and too much toll on my people to eliminate them.