I CAN'T QUIT YOU CASSIE

[1stbornextreme]

Right. Just what exactly were you planning on having me do in this new strange place? Now that you've turned me practically normal, I'm rather at a loss for why I'd even be worth anybody's time without being even remotely spectacular in any way.

Well, I suppose it could be my scintillating personality, or perhaps my dedication to looking like a well washed cocker spaniel. Either that, or you truly love torturing me. In any case, I'll take it.

It was getting rather dusty in that corner I was tucked in.

Comments

[chronologicalpulse]

FLEE.

[1stbornextreme]

Never, o' behorned grouchmaster! For you see, once I'm set somewhere, I'll infect it like the containment breach of personality I truly am.

... which is to say, I'm pretty sure I can't.

[chronologicalpulse]

YOU'RE JUST NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.

[1stbornextreme]

Believe me, my formerly short friend, I could try all day and I believe, with the exception of quite literally stomping off and refusing to come back - which never works - I'd be stuck having to do this.

Nobody's informed me of what I'll be doing when you lot all move to California. I may tag along, just for funsies. I'm sure there's plenty of police departments in need of a guy who can look at blood spatter and go "IT CAME FROM OVER THERE, BOSS!"

[chronologicalpulse]

FIRST OF ALL: DON'T USE THAT ACCENT.
SECONDLY, WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE JUST GIVE IT A FUCKING REST.
I KNOW I GREW A FEW INCHES, JEGUS BULGEFONDLING CHRIST YOU ALL DON'T HAVE TO KEEP ON LIKE THIS.
IT'S LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A FUCKING GROWTH SPURT BEFORE.

BUT YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE THERE ARE AT LEAST A COUPLE PLACES THAT NEED SOMEONE THAT KNOWS HOW TO SQUINT AT BLOOD.

[1stbornextreme]

You grew nearly six inches in height in less than a day, don't give me the, "Oh, it's just a growth spurt," bullshit, mate. You were perfectly sized before you decided to outgrow me like some godforsaken obscenity-spouting kudzu.

[chronologicalpulse]

I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE TALLER THAN YOU, TURNER.

YOU'RE JEALOUS.

[1stbornextreme]

Damn straight I'm jealous!

It's a rare day when I can use somebody as an armrest!

[chronologicalpulse]

I'M GOING TO CONVINCE EVERYONE TO SIMULTANEOUSLY LEAN ON YOU AND USE VARIOUS PORTIONS OF YOUR UPPER BODY AS ARMRESTS.

[1stbornextreme]

Dude, no.

No touch.

[foughtlikeaman]

Shoulda figured you'd show up sooner or later, Turner.

[1stbornextreme]

Never could stay away for long, Ms. Bonney. You know me, the terrible scourge on my mun's brain that I am.

[foughtlikeaman]

Well in that case you're in good company, because we both know I'm the same. Comes of being a pirate and a legend twice-over, I think.

[1stbornextreme]

Might be your scintillating personality. Far more sparkling than mine, at least.

I foresee parties. And ample pirate breakfasts.

[foughtlikeaman]

That I have no doubt of. At least I've still got the same job, museum curator. Though the museum's moved.

[1stbornextreme]

Still piratical?

[foughtlikeaman]

Aye, it is at that, only now it's the Saint Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum.

Far more pretentious a mouthful than the Pirate Soul Museum.

[1stbornextreme]

Interesting! Bill and I have been relocated to a semi-reality wherein he's the owner of a coffee shop and I am a mere, humble student, and friends to rather odd people.

So basically more of the same, only this time the weird ones are gray and have horns.

Of the head pokey AND bike variety, sometimes.

[foughtlikeaman]

Both at once, I should hope.

So far I'm not anywhere except for a handful of memes, nothing new there.

[1stbornextreme]

Memes; haven't seen what madness comes from those yet. I'll likely get tossed into the ridiculous ones. Can't do with being put in the slices of life. That'd be silly.

Oh, most certainly both, at least in one occasion that I know about. He's a real trip, that one. He can ride unicycle!

[foughtlikeaman]

Most of it's not so bad. At least, most of what I've seen myself, some of the others get the weird stuff.

And unicycling is one of those skills that always seemed like it would come in handy, but I never bothered to learn.

[1stbornextreme]

I can't imagine the illustrious Captain Bonney riding a unicycle, anyway. Well, unless you also had your shotgun, too. I'd pay to see that.

[foughtlikeaman]

Oh now that would be a thing to see.

[1stbornextreme]

I think that should be your next act of daring do, just call me when you do the daring, so I can come film it.

[foughtlikeaman]

If it ever comes about, I'll be certain to let you know first.

[1stbornextreme]