I knew I shouldn't have picked you up, Zero

[unwarrented]

That username isn't very nice, mun.

Hm, should that be 'dumb', or is mundane a good enough word for someone like you? Maybe it doesn't matter, because you're just asking for a penalty. I don't care that I'm not in charge out there, I'm in your head. This whoooooooole warren is just hopping to have something done with it! B-but even more importantly then that, you're... you're going to hurt my feelings if you talk like that...

[muffled sobs]

... wait, that's not working either?

Ah well. Worth a shot, right?

Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh!

Comments

[nattergalen]

Don't call your mundane dumb. It isn't polite to be rude to them, when they're trying their best.

[unwarrented]

Um, yeah, what's your point?

And saaaaaaaaay, what are you doing out hare?

[nattergalen]

My point is you should try to be nicer. [Yeah, like that's going to happen...well a girl can dream right?] I'm hare -- here to greet you.

[unwarrented]

I could try but.... that's really not who I am. And they're just gonna have to learn. To. Deal. Because that's not changing.

[His voice drops into a southern drawl.]

An' that's real nice and all, but don't you have a gaaaaame t' be playin'?

[nattergalen]

...Don't you have a game to be monitoring?

[Or at least whatever monitoring Zero III does.]

[unwarrented]

Oh, I can hop on out from time to time. But the game carrot run without its players, even if it can deal without little old me for a little while.

[nattergalen]

That is true. But, I'm not playing the game anymore. I guess you'll need to find new people.

[Don't find new people.]

[unwarrented]

[GAAAASP]

You're not playing anymore? So... somebunny opened the number 9 door? Was it you, Moony?

[futilecycle]

Lagomorph. I should have expected to find you pestering an undeserving mundane.

[That certainly is 'unwarrented!' Sigma approves of Lagomorph's mundane already.]

I suppose you must be bored, now, with time to pass and no game to manage.

[unwarrented]

Well, there's not really a lot for me to do up hare.

[futilecycle]

Except to annoy and threaten your mundane, naturally.

Perhaps I should have given you a calmer composure, similar to HAL 9000 or Mother... In that respect it is almost unfortunate that the details of the project were non-negotiable. [Besides, it was her input that made him the way he is.] But now that it is complete, I shall have to add a "kill switch" for your poor mun to use at will.

[The programmer can troll back.]

[unwarrented]

Y-you'd do that to me?

[sniffle sob]

[futilecycle]

Spare us the crocodile tears, Lagomorph.

[...Even as Zero, Sigma is too kind to do that, at any rate. He respects Lagomorph, even if he is a murderous AI.]

This invites the question of why your mun has decided to tolerate you.

[unwarrented]

Bbbbbbbecause she likes me? I mean really, who couldn't love a cute widdle bunny?

[magictree]

O-okay. That's... new.

[unwarrented]

Oh? Haven't you ever seen a talking rabbit?

[magictree]

Outside of a few freaky dream sequences? Not so much.

[unwarrented]

Well I'm not a normal rabbit. Have you ever seen a rabbit like me either? Thaaaaaat's what I thought.

[magictree]

I saw a talking Caterpillar once. It was... weird.

[unwarrented]

Oh? Was he an AI too?

[magictree]

Inter-dimensional being.

Wait. You're a robot?

[unwarrented]

Weeeeell, that's not quite the way to put it. I just hop around the mainframe.

[magictree]

Like a computer program?

[unwarrented]

Haha well... yeah. I mean, what else would I be?

[magictree]

You'd... be surprised what gets on the internet sometimes.

[unwarrented]

Well, wouldn't those still be computer programs? I mean, really.

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

D --> I
D --> What are you hopbeast

[unwarrented]

You're a little slooooooow, aren't yooooooou?

I'm a rab-bit.

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

D --> You are a hopbeast
D --> And you are talking
D --> How strange

[unwarrented]

Uh heh. Yeah. You keep saying that.

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

D --> I have never seen a speaking hopbeast before
D --> How is it possible

[unwarrented]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell because... I'm not a real rabbit? I mean, come onnnnnn, how many actual bunnies do you know who wear eyeliner.

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

D -->
D --> Not many
D --> And It w001d e%plain why you are capable of speaking

[unwarrented]

[GASP

Zero begins speaking in a very overly dramatic manner.]

... No! Can it be? Has the truth at last begun to penetrate this skull?!

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

D --> E%cuse me
D --> It would be wise if you did not antagonize someone that can crush you with one hand

[Also he's like five times bigger than you Zero.]

[unwarrented]

You'd.... you'd really try to hurt an innocent little bunny?

[sniffle sniffle]

[cant_breathe_no_heir]

D --> Uh
D --> Well
D --> Not really

D --> I refrain from hurting small beasts
D --> As it is very depraved
D --> You are quite the conundrum actually

[unwarrented]

Well, either way. Since you carrot get at my mainframe, you don't have many hoptions.

[averytinyparticle]

[Give him a second, he's trying to figure out all the puns. When it finally clicks, though, he gets a bashful sort of smile on his face.]

You gotta admit it's kinda clever though, huh?

[Or maybe the AI just carrot accept his own puns used against him.]

[unwarrented]

Hmph. It is not all that clever. It's not completely hopeless, but honestly, she should have been able to do much better if she wanted to play me. I mean

[his voice takes on a sing-song quality]

she had access to a whooooooooooooooole thesarus of pawsabilities. And what do I get? Unwarrented.

[averytinyparticle]

I guess that's true, when you put it that way!

[Quark tries to keep himself from smiling wider and from laughing.]

But don't you mean hopless?

[unwarrented]

Don't get ahead of yourself, Quirk, the rabbit puns are my thing.