dear_mun | The mun is game hunting.

Well, why not make it interesting then, sir?

Hey, I didn't ask to be here, so that's not my problem. She's the one who should be interesting since she's the one wanting to drag me to some weird place or whatever.

Then if you aren't going to try and help fix it, then you don't really get to complain, I should think.

I'm here against my will, I'm alone right now, and she's being boring.

I am totally allowed to complain. [And even if he's not allowed? He will. Because he doesn't need permission to complain.]

Well, then what's interesting?

Not being threatened with kidnapping and separation from my friends would be really awesome, actually. At least she knows better than to keep me from Kaoru.

Well I should think anyone wouldn't want that. But who is "Kaoru?"

My twin brother. We're always together.

Oh! [Like the Tweedles!] Well no wonder you want to be with him again.

She knows better than to separate us, at least. Where I go, Kaoru goes. She's promised, and she better keep that promise.

So then you just need to find a place where he's at? That shouldn't be too hard, I'm sure.

Or else she'll just drag him along, too. I'd rather not go anywhere, though. Again: back to the whole "I don't like being kidnapped" thing.

What if it was willing, then it wouldn't be kidnapped, right?

Not really. But since I'm not willing? It's totally kidnapping.

Oh... well, I suppose there's nothing for it then, sir.

I doubt even a mun could separate you for long.

She knows better. Doesn't know well enough not to do the whole kidnapping thing, but she knows I'm not going anywhere with Kaoru.

Make her stop talking about that being "interesting." It wouldn't be! It'd be boring. ~~And terrifying.~~

It wouldn't be the same without you two together, after all.

( Sigh )

At least yours is trying to convince you it will be interesting. Mine has taken to ignoring what I say and shoving me into situations.

You aren't alone. That's a start, hm?

She likes me right now; I'm pretty new around here. I know how she treats the others. Soon it'll be just awful. Making me do anything she damn well feels like.

[Which he'd never do to people. Fff. No. Not at all.]

( That doesn't sound familiar at all. Nope. No one around here has been forced to do things by devilish twins. )

It's hard to imagine even a mun overpowering the two of you together.

[Nope! Hikaru and Karou would never kidnap someone and force them to go somewhere or do something they didn't want to do. Completely inappropriate for anyone to do that to them, innocent as they--

Okay, even Hikaru doesn't believe that.]

She thinks that two of them can keep two of us in line. I like reminding her that the boss and Kyouya-senpai can't even do that really.

( Haruhi is beginning to miss being kidnapped by the twins, compared to what her mun has been pushing for. Almost. Maybe. )

I don't think that they know what they're getting into.

( Blink. )

What sort of interesting things is she promising?

I really wanted to be a pirate. But, apparently, Kyouya-senpai gets to do that, not me. I think that's a tragedy -- he won't even have fun with it!

But there's a place with wings she's talking about. That don't work, so I don't see how that's cool, really.

And another place that has a host club. But I'd have to work for money there. Boring!

Kyouya-senpai is going to be a pirate?

( She stares for a moment, just to comprehend, before dissolving into quiet laughter. The mental imagery of Shadow King in a pirate's outfit is perfect. )

You've never wanted wings?

And a host club would be nice; maybe it would even draw the others.

At least you mun is decisive. Mine is still debating.

Yep. Legit pirate. Ships, sailing, all that. I've told her that we're totally even with me not getting to do that if she gets me pictures. And doesn't tell Kyouya-senpai about them.

[Because. C'mon. Kyouya in pirate cosplay. Why has Tamaki not thought of pirates yet?! Must not to tell the boss this idea.]

And, y'know, my thing with wings? If I get 'em, I want 'em to work. What's the point of wings if you can't fly.

Downside to host club? It's at this creepy place where sex is, like, required. Every four weeks. I mean -- hey. Whatever floats your boat, but. Still creepy.

( This is one theme that she would actually support because really, pirate cosplay. Really. )

Come to think of it, I think my mun mentioned that place. If I end up there, I promise to tell you all about Kyouya-senpai's sailing.

( Pause )

Hopefully it's sooner than later if I'm going there, because if anyone wakes him before he's ready, he might become the most dreaded pirate

That is strange. I don't care too much about where I go, so long as I can catch up on a bit of studying, and do what I need to.

If you could go anywhere, where would it be?

...Yeah, my mun is a little too happy that you might be there. But, hey. As long you keep me posted? Totally cool.

[He thinks about her last question, though. Actually takes the time to think about it. Then, he shrugs.]

I guess I don't really care.

I mean, really? I just want to stay at Ouran with you guys. But... Long as I don't have to be alone? I... guess I can get used to anywhere.

The more my mun thinks about it, the more excited she seems to be getting, too. ( Much to Haruhi's growing trepidation. After all, a place with pirate ships practically guarantees thunderstorms. )

I would rather be back at Ouran with everyone, too.

Maybe everyone will stumble into one of these places together. You know that you won't ever be alone, though, right? Or do I have to tell Hikaru-kun that you've been doubting him?

[And, well, he actually gets a little serious.]

I know. She's promised me that, actually. That I won't be alone.

...And. Just. So you know. [Because, well. He's not always good about it, but Hikaru does care.] If you do go there? Kyouya-senpai won't let anything happen to you.

[He doesn't understand why Hikaru would have to go anywhere without Kaoru, but he also understands how difficult it could be to go somewhere without your important person.

Not that he's going to say any of that. Instead, he'll just stand here off to the side and look at Hikaru with a tilt of his head and a somewhat curious/concerned expression.]

Mori-senpai!

[Well. This is one way to get back at his mun and that other one.]

My mun and her friend have been planning on kidnapping Honey-senpai, too.

[Kidnapping? Kidnapping Mitsukuni? Oh heeeell no.]

Where.

[Objective achieved!]

Pirate world, if they have their way. Kyouya-senpai's going to be there.

And they're talking about dragging Honey-senpai there, too.

...Better than some other places mine's talked about for me, but. Yep. Kidnapping him. Better go talk to them.

[Yay violence against people he doesn't like!]

[A pirate world? ...Well, Mitsukuni would certainly enjoy playing pirates for a little while, but it wouldn't do to have his cousin go off somewhere dangerous where Mori couldn't watch him.

He frowns and wonders if the kidnappers have any idea who they're dealing with. Mitsukuni should be able to fight them off, but he wants to be there to be certain.]

...

[But first.]

For you?

Place with wings where I can't fly or place where I have to work, could be in a host club, and would have to have sex once a month.

Don't really want to go to either of those.

[....Wow, that is not what a host club should be at all. That is definitely one place he would have to bust into to take Hikaru out of. His frown deepens and then he makes a flying gesture with both of his hands resembling wings before shaking his head.

Obviously both of those options aren't very good. Wings are cute, sure, but if they can't do anything then they're just a nuisance.]

So pirates?

[That seems to be the only other option besides going back home to Ouran, which is obviously the best one, but that means it's the least likely.]

I wish.

Pirates? Sounds awesome. C'mon. Can you imagine me and Karou as pirates? It'd be amazing.

But -- no. Kyouya-senpai gets to go instead. Which is so unfair. Because he won't even have fun with it.

--Kinda hoping she'll just... get distracted before she gets it in her head to shove me somewhere.

[Kyouya. As a pirate.

....That is both amusing and terrifying at the same time. He'd definitely have the money managing part of the pirating gig down. And he'd look dashing in a pirate's jacket.

But Hikaru is right. The twins would have much more fun with it. He nods.]

Muns.

[They don't get distracted, they just find new ways to torture you. Like how someone's mun is kidnapping Mitsukuni. It must be stopped.]

They're awful. Way too much time on their hands.

[...Okay, so that could be applied to him and Kaoru, too. But.]

I don't get why they think this is fun. Ouran's totally fine. Why can't we all just, y'know, stay there?

[But the pranks the twins play aren't anywhere near as bad as being thrown into a place with useless wings or being taken to a not!host club.

Mori doesn't have an answer for why they can't just stay, so he shrugs slightly and sits down next to Hikaru. He ruffles the guy's hair for a second, then drops his hands back to his sides. He knows it's hard, Hikaru. You're not alone in this.]

Guess it could be worse. At least none of us'll be alone, right?

[Because that's really the only bright side he can see to all this. And, well, that isn't said with the usual pep of the Hitachiin twins.

Because it's scary to think about. Any of the being alone in all this insanity.]

[Mori knows how they twins hate to be alone. He also knows that together they can get through just about anything. Unfortunately, he can also remember a time when one was without the other, and sometimes they had to be alone. He looks at Hikaru for a moment, then puts a hand on his head. Don't worry, Hikaru. You'll be alright.

He nods to him. Even if they are separated, they'd never really be apart.]

Right.

The mun is game hunting.

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