Q is bored. Because -that's- new.

[fingersnapping]

Really, I'm disappointed in you, ma cherie. How can you possibly mean to confine someone like me to a mind such as yours? A dire existence. Worse than being human. Eurgh.

No, I can't do it. First of all, it's filthy in here. Secondly - and far more importantly - I'm bored. I know the kind of people you like to spend time with. No Jean Luc to play with, no Number Two. I'd even settle for that microbrained Klingon or the robot. Kathy! Yes, that's a wonderful idea! I should very much like to see Kathy again. Do you suppose she remembers me? Of course she does. My Kathy; she wouldn't forget little old me.

Still, before I leave I suppose I owe you some sort of parting gift for bringing me to life. But what to give you? One can't just go around handing out omniscience, no matter how helpful it might make this role playing thing. How about--hmm...

[ And then Q beams, raises his left hand, and clicks his fingers. Snap. ]

Comments

[hischair]

Your Kathy?

[ Highly doubtful she'd let this swooning guy call her that, it doesn't seem her style. ]

[fingersnapping]

Well, now, look who it is. Captain Cowboy--or the other one, at least. Yes indeed my Kathy. She and I were going to have a baby together, can you imagine it? Her fiery spirit, my good looks. Quite a match we'd have made.

But you? No, you shouldn't know Kathy at all.

[hischair]

I don't want to imagine it. [ Folding his arms. Captain Cowboy is an awesome name but it's ruined by association now, gosh. ] And I think Captain Janeway's the only one at liberty to disclose her personal details.

[ /FRYSQUINT ]

[fingersnapping]

I've always thought that a rather pointless custom. A gentleman never tells, but a lady may gossip about whatsoever she pleases. Oh, but she is very beautiful when she's angry, isn't she? I'm sure you've noticed. Bit out of your league, if I do say so, and I do say so, so she is.

It takes two to tango, as they say. [ And just to polish off all that, a lascivious wink, as though to imply that more happened...when it didn't. ]

[hischair]

I don't regard her like that, we're not — [ ffnnhg. ] Never mind.

[ Exasperated already, he adds in a frown. ]

Who are you?

[fingersnapping]

[ He thought you'd have a little more staying power than that, Kirk. But as a fan of theater, Q doesn't skimp on the introduction. Amusement dances in his eyes, he clicks his fingers.

And everything goes dark.

The light rises, Q is now a looming, giant head, constructed of dazzling red light, impossibly large in what had once been only a small room. His light casts no reflection by which to see any other features, nor even for Kirk to look at himself, and his voice is booming and deep, echoing - off who knows what, but echoing none the less - in bass tones. ]

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end."

[ Excuse him his little game. ]

[directives]

[ ... ]

[fingersnapping]

Now is that any way to greet an old friend, or dare I say it, a lover?

[directives]

We were never lovers, Q, and I wouldn't exactly call us friends, either.

[fingersnapping]

Brrr. So frosty. [ Everything is icicles. No, everything is actual icicles. ] Now look what you've done.

[ Q blows on his hands, then rubs them together in the appearance of warming them up. ]

Not even friends, Kathy, truly? I'm hurt.

[hischair]

[ That's the thing about Jim, he's fast collecting a whole tide of expectations from the alternate timeline crowd and wondering whether he should buy into them. If he were anyone else he might but frankly it's all a little irritating. He can't be some other James T. Kirk, only himself. And right now, the James T. Kirk he is is rapidly finding himself on the blunt end of pointless, literally blinding bluster.

The lightshow is impressive. It really is, Jim's completely uncertain of how it's accomplished. His folded arms remain so, however, and even if he can't see himself he's pretty certain the prickling on the back of his neck can only benefit from a succinct, paraphrased middle-finger. ]

Who wants to date Kathryn, apparently. [ It's said flatly as he holds his ground, displeasure and annoyance radiating from both tone and body-language. ] Which means she must have told you this kind of display is unnecessary — as well as tacky.

I don't give a damn what you are, I asked for your name. Was I incorrect in assuming you're smart enough to oblige me on that score?

[ Mr. First-And-Last isn't the only one with his own brand of sass. ]

[fingersnapping]

[ Well, you can't impress them all. And really, he's not sure what he expected from Kirk. Maybe some chest thumping and a subhuman roar to the heavens, before he whisks Janeway up under one arm and swings away through the trees. Something like that. He actually holds his ground instead, even if it's in somewhat less of a fun way than Jean Luc might have done. The giant head rolls its giant eyes childishly, and then with a flash the darkness is gone almost as quickly as it had appeared.

When Kirk adjusts to the change in light, they are on the bridge of the Enterprise, and Q is wearing command gold, sitting in the Captain's chair and inspecting himself in a hand mirror. ]

Such small-mindedness, but what else could be expected from a caveman? What I am and who I am are indistinct from each other. [ Acknowledging Kirk now. ] I am Q.

[directives]

[ E Y E R O L L ]

Friends keep in touch. I haven't seen hide nor hair of you since you asked me to make with you.

[ it's been two, almost three years! (yes, yes, she knows. on her temporal plane.) ]

[hischair]

[ Wincing at the change in light, his expression (ironically enough) darkens when he finds this asshole sitting in Jim's chair. Enterprise, baby, he's missed you but wtf what is even happening CUE CAVEMAN INSTINCTS. ]

Get out of there.

[ A universal constant with all captains, it seems. ]

[spotsallthewaydown]

What, no request for a Captain Sisko? I'm sure Benjamin would just love a rematch with you, if you're that hard up for company.

you're perfect

[mirabilis]

[ Curious. Curious. Ever so curious ]

I'd hate to question what else is in that mind.

[fingersnapping]

[ Kathyrn always know just how to make him squirm. Oh, how he likes that. ]

Fatherhood has ways of keeping you busy. Have you ever raised an infant, let alone a young Q? It takes no effort at all to teach him how to knock planets around, but then you look away for a moment and the universe is imploding. It's exhausting. I can't imagine how you do it.

But you haven't had the pleasure of my son's company. Oh Kathy. You will like him when you meet him. I mean - you do - but you know how these things are.

[ Linear beings living their linear lives. So sad. ]

[fingersnapping]

[ Sprawling. Feet on the console. What are you going to do about it, Kirk? ]

What, this? What is it with you Captains and your chairs?

[ Gosh. ]

[hischair]

[ Smack those ankles off the armrest, that's what. ]

Q, whatever or whoever you really are, how do you know Kathryn?

[ And why are you making my bridge look messy, but that's more of a protective feeling than anything. ]

[fingersnapping]

Anyone but Sisko. You know how it is, my dear. Without a sense of humor, I'm afraid there simply isn't much there.

[ Maybe...rubbing his face a bit. Not even remotely psychosomatic pain. Nope. ]

thank youuu also is that HG? because if so, that's awesome.

[fingersnapping]

Nothing more interesting or engaging than me, certainly. Such crude beginnings. Practically medieval!

[fingersnapping]

[ Rude! ]

I told you. Weren't you listening? [ Instead he stretches out, hands on the armrests, and just sits in it like he owns it. That's better, right? ]

Oh, I'm sorry. Should I offer you a seat? [ This bridge is useless where are the other chairs? But Q just shrugs. He could summon a chair, but shrugging is more fun. ] Oops.

[hischair]

[ Stop molesting his chair, Q. ]

I was, as a matter of fact, but you're not exactly big on specifics. How did you meet?

make should've been mate. thanks ipad.

[directives]

If this is your way of asking if I'll babysit, the answer's no.

i got it. to be fair, the meaning was p. much the same anyway~

[fingersnapping]

And miss out on being Aunty Kathy? Well, that would be tragic! It simply won't do. Junior would be bereft without your council.