dear_mun | pacific rim | on dedication to academia and genderbending

C'mon, baby, give the poor girl a break. Some people need distractions from their studies.

Even if I were to accept this, she should not be using me as a distraction.

[ and it's a testament to how much she loves him, against all odds, that she doesn't protest the use of that pet name. ]

[Vince knows when he has an advantage and presses it mercilessly.

He walks over to her, a mug of tea in his hand, and plucks the chalk out of her hand, replacing it with his mug.] You need a distraction. You've been down here for hours and I'm pretty sure you didn't even touch your lunch.

[ she does not appreciate having her space invaded thusly. she does not appreciate having her chalk taken from her. she does, however, appreciate tea and there are few people she is more willing ( and able ) to tolerate than him.

so after a brief pause in which she forces herself to switch mental gears away from abstract mathematics and towards what counts as sociability for her, she ends up wrapping both hands around the mug. ]

I was working. [ of course she hasn't touched her lunch. she didn't even realise that lunchtime has passed already. ]

I know. [Being married to one of the most brilliant minds in the K-science division of the Jaeger Program comes with its own set of challenges. Hermine isn't exactly warm and cuddly and does not take kindly to people not giving her work the gravitas it requires.

Still. She makes some exceptions for him, and he makes exceptions for her, and somehow — against all odds — they work.]

Do you think you can eat now? I'll reheat it for you.

[ in many ways, theirs is a relationship built on very careful communication in lieu of careless touches and easy physical intimacy. that communication is something hermine at times has to force herself to maintain against her nature, but it is more than worth it. ( he is. )

she takes a sip of the tea he's brought her. ]

Well, I am already taking a break. [ meaning yes. also meaning thank you, only not in so many words. ]

[It's hard for Vince, because he's a very physical guy — he was a footballer before his accident, easy touches and careless physical proximity is kind of his thing — but he makes a concerted effort to respect all of her boundaries.

He does like to sneak things in every now and then, though, like the kiss he presses to her forehead.]

Then let me just nuke this for you and you can tell me all about what you're working on right now.

[ in return, she allows him freedoms that she would not allow anyone else and — while touch and proximity make her uncomfortable more often than not, she has found that she likes both, from him, if administered in small doses and with advance warning.

the warnings are no longer as necessary as they were at the beginning of their relationship.

taking her cane from where it had been resting against the wall, one hand still on the cup, she follows him towards the kitchen. ]

Very well. [ and she doubts that he understands even half of what she tells him about her work, but he keeps asking and voicing her thoughts had been difficult in the beginning because she is an inherently private individual and dislikes sharing her ideas until they have been finalised and the math is perfect, but she's found that it aids her in her thought process, too. ]

[It's true, pretty much any time Hermine opens up her mouth to talk about her work, Vince is immediately lost, but hell. It's clearly something she's passionate about, and he knew she was smart when he met her, so it's not like he wasn't prepared for this sort of thing. And she doesn't seem to think any less of him when he just smiles and makes encouraging noises — she did know she was married a former athlete-turned-underwear model, after all — so he likes to think he helps.

Somehow.

He does just that, nodding and humming encouragingly as she talks while he putters around the kitchen and reheats the curry and rice he made for lunch.

Eventually he sets it down in front of her and slides into a seat nearby, his own mug of tea in hand as he watches her avidly.]

[ she hadn't known why he asks, in the beginning. she still isn't sure, his answer not entirely satisfactory to her, but it does help and she does appreciate it. at times, she even makes herself tell him as much, standing stiffly before him, the words heavy on her tongue.

( it's easier writing things down than saying them out loud. )

vince is an excellent cook and she finds her speech slowing a little as the smell of curry permeates the kitchen and the air seems to warm up. slowing a little in this case means that she sounds more normal, no longer gesturing with her cane or the cup of tea alternatively, managing not to spill anything because she dislikes the mess it would make.

hermine is elaborating on the calculations regarding the variable still remaining unknown in her calculation to determine the breach's width when he sets the food before her and she comes to a stop. ]

Thank you.

[Whereas Vince, even with the prosthetic leg, is all slow strut and languid gestures, Hermine is much sharper with her body, her arms flailing when she speaks, her hands chopping through the air, her body quivering as she paces frantically when she's thinking.

He's learned to mop up the occasional spill.

It's instinct to reach out and fix the tag sticking out of the back of her sweater, tuck it away and smooth his fingers over her shoulder.]

No problem, baby. You were saying?

[ they could not be more different from one another if they tried. that their relationship works and continues to work is a mystery that hermine has not yet managed to solve despite some evenings pouring over it. she has finally come to the conclusion that this is the one unknown she does not need to solve; there is likely no equation that could hope to capture this.

she doesn't lean into the touch, but when she continues talking, her body is angled more towards his than it had been before. if her calculations turn into a rant on the lack of hygiene newton geizler displays, she cannot be blamed for that, either. ]

[Vince has only met Newt a few times — the kind of stunned horror on the other scientist's face upon meeting Hermine's husband had been hilarious to say the least — and he's never thought of the man as particularly dirty, but apparently Hermine doesn't agree.

With this rant he's a little better equipped to participate, and he does manage to get a work in edgewise every now and then, but he's mostly just being supportive, he doesn't really have much of an opinion on Newt one way or another.

He does sneak a few bites of Hermine's curry, though, when she's distracted.]

[ there are kaiju parts being pushed into her space, into her half of the area that now serves as a lab and the headquarters of the k-science division. ( hermine does, in fact, respect dr geizler's intelligence and research; she just doesn't deal particularly well with his enthusiasm and disregard for her boundaries. )

she had enjoyed the expression on newton's face upon his realising that not only was she married but married to vince who conforms to a very great degree to the generally-held opinions of what constitutes an attractive man. hermine finds him very attractive, too, but that is another matter entirely. he is also objectively speaking attractive. ]

If my calculations are correct - and they are -, the frequency of kaiju attacks will rise exponentially. [ that is said more quietly than her entire elaboration on what she is doing and newton's habits. she is very well aware of the relevance and implications of that statement, spoken while he is chewing on some of her curry. ]

[Vince knows he's hot. He's a model. He's paid to be hot. Even with the fact that he's missing his right leg below the knee, he gets paid a ridiculous sum of money to stand around and let people take photos of him in his underwear. He hasn't told Newt that yet, and he almost wants to, wants to see just what kind of reaction that'll get out of the tiny scientist. It was one thing when Hermine was just married to a hot guy, but being married to a hot model? He has a feeling that will make things even harder to swallow.

He's just settling a little more comfortably into his chair, both hands curling around his mug, when she drops that bomb about the kaiju.]

They... [He was about to ask if she was sure, but this is Hermine, of course she is.] Well, shit.

What kind of timeline are you thinking about?

[ perhaps if hermine were more focused on such matters, she would spend hours wondering how she managed to end up with a man as attractive as him. she doesn't put much stock into her own appearance — a little too skinny, too stiff, certainly, but these things are not relevant because her intelligence is what matters most. that doesn't make her feel any less smug upon seeing the dumbfounded expression on newton's face, however.

of course she is sure.

it isn't in her nature to be comforting or soft or gentle, but she still reaches out to settle one hand over his lower arm. ]

Weeks, for now. Then days, then hours.

[ the implications are clear. ]

[He thinks she's beautiful. Even her hurried speech, her words tripping over themselves as she talks is beautiful. Her hands are beautiful. Her legs are beautiful. Her hair, tucked severely behind her ears with no product or styling, is beautiful. Her mind, though, far sharper and faster than his, is what he finds most beautiful.

He loves her. It doesn't have to be logical.

He loves her even more when she makes concessions for him like she does now, reaching out to touch his arm. He'd lost his leg in a car accident prompted by the panic that gripped the streets during Knifehead's attack on San Francisco, and ever since then, the thought of more kaiju emerging from the breach makes his phantom leg scream in pain.

If he sets down his mug so he can cover her hand with his, well. Hopefully she can deal with it.]

Oh.

[ while he is objectively speaking handsome, she is far from beautiful by societal standards. she is well aware of this, she just chooses not to assign it any particular relevance. that he thinks she is beautiful regardless is — illogical, but not unwelcome despite that.

she can deal with it. he so rarely pushes her boundaries and this is not so much touching that it makes her uncomfortable. what makes her uncomfortable is the thought of his pain and the sense of responsibility because she has yet to find a way to close the breach, because she is the one to tell him the news.

bowing her head for a moment, breathing very even, she pushes the unease down. he respects her boundaries, in return, she tries to respect his wants and needs. so she moves her hand under his to tangle their fingers together. ]

Marshal Pentecost is devising a plan to close the breach.

[The fact that she turns her hand under his to slide her fingers through his means a lot, and he's not ashamed to admit that he clings to her a little, his eyes wide and worried in his face.]

Do you think his plan is going to work?

[Because it's one thing to have a plan. If the plan pans out is something completely different.

Vince has never met Pentecost but he's well aware of the man; after all, he is basically Hermine's boss. He's watched him on television, during press junkets ant the like, and the man seems to have a solid head on his shoulder. Vince would still put his faith in his wife than the Marshal, however.]

I have not yet finished my calculations on the issue. [ hermine hates making predictions. she likes facts and presenting people with them. she likes certainty and order and making a prediction on an unfinished product is unprofessional and ill-advised.

she can chance it, for him. ] I do think that there is a chance. I will know more once I have finished running the models.

[ marshal pentecost has her respect. ]

[Vince nods slowly, knowing that he was never going to get a solid answer out of her, not at this point in the game. Even if there's a part of him that would have wanted a quick, empty reassurance, that's not who Hermine is, and he appreciates that she won't lie, not even to him.

So he just nods and gives her a little smile, shoving down the panic clawing at his throat.]

I guess I should let you get back to work, then.

[ saying that she thinks there is a chance is as far as she is willing — able, really — to go. it's more than she would have admitted to anyone and it's as much as she can say without lying. even if an empty reassurance would not be a lie, it would be against her nature. holding his hand and telling him that she thinks there is a chance is the best she can do.

(there is a sense of responsibility and duty that drives her more than usual and she has to bury herself deeper in mathematics and the abstract to find a sense of peace, these days.)

she doesn't pull back her hand. ]

I would like another cup of tea. [ it's as good as saying that she can stay for five more minutes. she'll make up for it by working late. ]

[His smile turns a little more genuine, his eyes softening when Hermine makes an obvious concession to his want to have her near.

He lifts their hands and kisses her knuckles, a dry press of his lips as he smiles at her.]

I'll make you a fresh pot.

[He reluctantly pulls away from her and stands, bustling about the kitchen as he fills the kettle again and pulls down the box of tea. He's never been good at being idle, Vince, and this whole end of the world thing is taking idleness to the extreme. There's literally nothing he can do. Nothing except make sure that Hermine is fed and watered and rests when she needs to.]

[ love is not something that comes immediately or easily to hermine; the intensity of the emotion often makes her feel uncomfortable and she retreats into the world of abstract mathematics or coding where things make sense, follow the rules, are predictable. he is none of these things, but it is moments like this when he smiles at her that make the moments of discomfort worth it because she does love him. so much, sometimes, that she doesn't know what to do with it.

so right now, she compromises by launching into another rant on the variables and which method she thinks she will use to calculate the width of the breach. she doesn't mention double events. she doesn't mention exponentiality. ]

[His family doesn't really understand what Vince sees in Hermine. He's half Black and half Italian and everyone is his family is loud and boisterous and very touchy-feely. Hermine is almost the exact opposite of that. And yeah, sometimes it's hard for him to remember that he can't just drape himself all over her when she's sitting at the table, or that when she's down in her lab, he needs to leave her alone, but he figures that if she didn't love him, she wouldn't allow him the liberties he does get.

And there are more important things in a relationship than constantly being together.

So he hums and nods and brings the fresh pot of tea over to the table, sneaking a few biscuits in front of his wife now that her lunch is finished and she's moved on to tea.]

[ his family is so far outside of her comfort zone that hermine closes up entirely around them; it probably hasn't made things easier. she is glad that he respects that she is nothing like that, that she does not like invasions of her space and that her personal bubble is larger than that of the average person.

(she loves him. sometimes, she even manages to tell him as much.)

hermine has grabbed a notepad and begun scribbling on it, still talking though it is more fragmented now that she also has the paper to put her thoughts to. if her presence helps, even when she is like this, she can give him that much.

she even eats a biscuit. ]

[He smiles when he watches her quietly eat the biscuit he set in front of her.

Being able to take care of her feels good. He makes all this ridiculous money for no real reason, and she, in comparison, makes next to nothing. Considering he values her job far above his own, he finds this totally ridiculous and has therefore decided it's his job as a (sometimes) house husband to look after her as best as he can. Which includes cooking her meals and making sure she eats them, doing her laundry, stocking the fridge, bullying her into showering when she'd clearly rather be working, all sorts of things. And he's happy to do them.

Like now. He finishes his tea and stands, clearing up the dishes from their lunch as Hermine's attention drifts from him down to her notebook.]

[ it's an arrangement that works surprisingly well; she would be a lot more thankful for the fact that he doesn't seem to mind if she stopped to consider the amount of housework he does. while he's gone, she usually ends up so wrapped up in her work that things like laundry or food get left by the wayside until she notices out of necessity and forces herself away from her calculations. her sense of discipline, at least, has always been most excellent.

her tea is almost cold by the time she thinks to take a sip of it. she's not really still in the kitchen for the tea, though, so that does not pose a problem. ]

[Vince has slipped a cheery cozy over the teapot sitting in front of her, so she can refill her cup if she ever feels like it.

As it is, he's pretty much finished clearing up the kitchen, everything either drying in the rack or safely put away, which means he can come up behind her, his prosthetic foot clomping against the floor. He settles his hands on the back of her chair and looks over her shoulder at her notepad, the paper filled with the incomprehensible scribbles he's grown to know and love.]

I need to go work out, baby, will you be okay if I leave you to your work?

Of course. [ there is a note of affront in her tone at the question; she is very self sufficient regarding her work and the thought that she needs anyone to do it does not sit well with her professional pride. she knows that he does not mean it that way, though, and she makes a conscious effort to look up at him and away from her notes, if only for a moment.

(she is so close to the solution that she feels as though she can taste it, an excited thrum under her skin.)

hermine gives him a decisive nod, just the once, clearing her throat. ] Thank you for the tea.

[ which she hasn't been drinking, not really. but then she is not thanking him for the tea. ]

[She sounds so affronted by the suggestion that she'd need him to stick around to help her work when he so clearly has no idea what's going on that he has to laugh, a quiet exhalation of air that's more of a sotto voce chuckle than anything else. Still, his lips are curling at the edges, his eyes crinkling fondly, and he inclines his head a little at her when she lifts hers to look up at him.]

You're welcome.

[He has a feeling the whole pot will be cold by the time he comes back, sweaty and trembling, even though she won't have even moved from her seat. Her back will hurt from being hunched over so long but she'll quietly endure the pain and insist it's not bothering her and he'll wheedle and try to coax her into accepting a backrub so she can sleep untroubled by knots tonight.

He's almost looking forward to that little fight already.]

I love you. [He leans down and kisses her hair very lightly, then pushes away and turns to walk down the corridor to the room he's turned into a little gym.]

[ she loves his smiles. they come so easily to him, it seems, but it still feels like she has done something right, like she's solved a difficult equation, every time she is the cause of it.

and he is right in his assessment: she will not have moved, or not have moved very much at all, perhaps to push the pot of tea further away so as to spread out her papers over the table. she can work anywhere, though she prefers a lab to most places. still, the kitchen is warm and she has already begun to lose herself in her equations. which is why her answer, when it comes, is mumbled and late; he is already halfway out the door by the time she thinks to say i love you too. ]

[He does smile a lot. He smiles on camera, he smiles on the street, he smiles when she's off at work and he's alone in their apartment, reading or watching television. He likes to smile for her, though, not only because she seems so pleased when he does. They feel slower and deeper, too, like they're more grounded or more real. It's one of those strange ethereal not-quite observations he never says aloud because he doesn't know how to word it properly, and besides, sometimes he feels a little self conscious that his wife is so detail oriented and hard science and everything else and he's more comfortable with a game on the telly or a book of poetry or something.

He slows down when he hears her respond, leaning against the wall briefly and smiling another one of those smiles before carrying on down the hall.]

[ ...Yeah, he'd have a comeback for that if he weren't distracted by the fact his persnickety partner just became a chick.

He still has a comeback, it's just... going to take him a moment more of loading. Finally: ]

Woah, dude, you can grow hair past your ears?

[ she didn't just become a chick — well, maybe she did at that but it certainly doesn't feel like it for her. then again, facts over feelings, so she won't be protesting this particular point of contention. ]

Of course. [ it's a biological process, newt, keep up. ]

pacific rim | on dedication to academia and genderbending

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

tosses this dumkoff in here

why hello