"The King of Hyrule is a Jerk" comics inspired this

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

Eating those chips, you're gonna get fat and lazy. Like Ganondorf. You suck. Link's sister is going to die a painful and horrible death if you play on the computer more than you play the game. Ganondorf will probably drop her off the top of the Forsaken Fortress because you're slow and useless.

Just like Link. The slowest hero ever. God, Navi and I could save her and Hyrule faster. And I'm half boat. How does that make you feel?

Comments

[king_of_hyrule]

[ ... ... ... No, no, that is just not right. Link, the slowest hero ever? ]

You are not who you pretend to be.

[ Not even gonna bother debunking all the stupidity profaned- Just would be happy if peoples stopped impersonating him. ]

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[Do you know how much time in this game is actually spent CUTTING GRASS? And trees? And throwing rocks, barrels and jars?]

That's a terrible impersonation, take off that face you ugly jerk!

[king_of_hyrule]

[ ... Oh god. ]

This is the face I was born with. Your impersonation will fool no one.

[ He already has to deal with a man laughing and constantly wondering what's for dinner; who keeps pretending he is the King of Hyrule. Goddesses, not a second one. ]

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

Then you're obviosuly not real, because I am the King of Hyrule. And you suck.

[king_of_hyrule]

[ ... As a royalty, he can't go ahead and starts speaking bad. No no, that just would be distasteful. ]

You are not. Members of the Royal Family have already been impersonated in the past. You are convincing in appearance but your personality is little more than a pale copy.

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

Perhaps it is you that is the imposter! Your disguise is so fake that Link could see through it!

[king_of_hyrule]

The King of Hyrule would never speak of the hero in the terms you did! Even if I were truly the imposter and you the real king, this would be a disgrace to our family and to our Kingdom.

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

You keep speaking but all I hear is "blah blah, I'm a terribly stupid imposter."

[king_of_hyrule]

...

This may be what you think, but this couldn't be furthest from the truth. I believe there is no point continuing our discussion any further.

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

That's right baby imposter, run home crying before you hurt yourself.

[cantstopme]

...

[what he is not a slow hero it's not his fault he's a little kid okay]

Oh god, that icon /so guilty

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[He's gonna cry, really?]

What, do you plan to drowning Ganondorf with tears?!

yeah, BE GUILTY -- I mean oh oops sorry <<

[cantstopme]

[









wibble]

XD I'll go to be tonight and dream of Link crying

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

Maybe he'll pity you and renounce his evil way, hm?

[NO MERCY!]

and the sadness will haunt you forever because the king made little link cry ;A;

[cantstopme]

[yep, he even let out a little hiccup.

why you so mean, king]

;;~;;

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[Because he's a jerk who only helped you save your sister so he could use you to kill Ganon.]

[cantstopme]

[well, crying doesn't seem to be working.





so he'll just kick him in the shin and run. TAKE THAT YOU JERK]

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[AHHHHH DAMMIT YOU LITTLE PUNK!]

[cantstopme]

[RUNNING]

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[YOU BETTER RUN BUT REMEMBER, YOU NEED A BOAT! SO HA!]

and then I took playing WW Link completely seriously

[cantstopme]

[FUCK YOU HE CAN JUST TRAVEL WITH PIRATES FOREVER CAN'T BE TAMED

CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP ETC.]

So seriously!

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[FINE GO TRAVEL WITH YOUR PIRATES SEE IF HE CARES!

BUT SOON THEY'LL ALL BE DEAD BECAUSE GANON IS GOING TO KILL THEM AS SOON AS HE'S DONE TURNING YOUR SISTER INTO FRIED HYLIAN OR SOMETHING.]

[dragonspooker]

Yeesh, what is it with old bearded guys and being gigantic jerks to the people trying to save your worlds?

[daphnes_is_an_asshole]

[He's being firm, okay? It just looks like he's a jerk. Yeah, he's just a jerk, going as far as calling him an asshole.]

How about actually saving it, stupid kid!? What is it with kids being stupid and asking equally stupid questions?

[Yeah!]

[dragonspooker]

[If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...]

[Twiiitch.]

Three things, grandpa.

One, I'm not a kid.

Two, I'm not stupid.

Three, I'd watch my tone because I've sank boats way bigger than you with little effort.