dear_mun | Mun finally finished their marathon of Grasshopper games, Muse weighs in.

Well, wasn’t THAT a ride and a half? Assassin battles, frustrating platforming sequences and a King Kong-sized grotesquely obese Elvis impersonator! Add to that a brand new muse (and hey, it’s my second favorite assassin at that!) and you are officially on a roll here, M! So- On to the DS games!

[J…Johnson do you have any idea how rare those are?]
Oh come on, you can’t quit now. You think you can just play the games released for those lame-stream consoles and then call yourself conqueror of Mt Nerd? Contact and Flower, Sun and Rain awaits you, man!

[But Joohnsssooon, those games are apparently nothing but exercises in masochism and trolling the player!]
Well, I guess I can accept that… I mean, if you’re okay with pulling out prematurely in the knowledge there are others out there whose achievements dwarf yours, who am I to blame you? Boatsizes and ocean-motion and all that. That people out there are bigger fans with a bigger appreciation for high art, now why would that bother you? I totally get having a complex for challenges whose girth is just too much to handl-

[Knock off the size jokes you just want me to mindlessly buy everything Grasshopper’s ever done so you can look up Liberation Maiden’s tight wet-suit.]
… You don’t know that. Maybe I want you to support those Hungarian fellows and their papercraft games and that one shmup with the time travel and the anthropomorphic animal pilots! For all you know I’m a HUGE furry who wants to… support the art… aaand that has got to be the record for realizing something sounds remarkably more convincing in your head than once it’s past your teeth.

Okay so buying a game so I can admire the Premier Bum of Japan is out the window, I can accept that, but can you at least give me one lovely lady muse to talk to in here? I can’t say I mind the company here but the thing about sausage parties is that they inevitably get way too stuffy. Heh, because you know, sausages are stuffed full of various left-overs, and it’s a double entendre for… right, right, shutting up now because you’re such a bastion of good taste. G would’ve laughed…

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Joooohnsooon, you've been having a lot of fun haven't you?

Did Garcia come along with you or did he leave me alone, again?

[IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HE SWEARS]

[DOES THIS FACE SAY SHE'D BELIEVE HIM]

[no that's the 'forgot it was your birthday' face

not a good night]

[How hard is it to remember the birthday of your ~~psychotic~~ girlfriend? Really.

She knew he didn't love her enough. >=( ]

[ALSO FUCK YOUR INTERNAL SCREAMING MUN HE'S SCREAMING OUTSIDE TOO.]

PAULA. No, no I... good lord it's been a long time! Like seriously, I'm not even trying to switch the subject here, it's been way too long. How's it going G where are you G anytime you'd like to interject and back up my story would be nice G

[Just completely ignoring her mun's cackling.]

Has it been? I hadn't noticed. Besides, you two wouldn't leave me alone for too long, would you?

And, Johnson, you should know I'm doing just fine. But, I do better with Garcia around.

Of course not! Well, provided that we're not ripped from home sweet home and plunged across the depths of space-time and into high adventure on other worlds... not that that's what's going on. M here is far too lazy to put me in an actual game.

Oh, so what is going on then? Does your M keep you from me and my man with laziness? Is that your excuse for leaving me by myself?

[IGNORING LOGIC FROM ALL OUTSIDE SOURCES BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T NEED THAT.]

[NO PAULA YOU DO NEED THAT PLEASE BELIEVE MY VERY RATIONAL AND CONVINCING ARGUMENTS]

WELL you know... a gentleman knows when his company is not necessary! And after all that you and Garcy went though I would think you'd really like to just be close to each other and just cuddle and do couple-things, and really, let's face it, I would just be a third wheel in all that! So you know, even though I was taken from you completely against my will, it's not like something good can't come from it?

Garcy?

[HE'S HELPING]

Leave the girls alone, Johnson. I don't think they're into your kind of bone. [look maybe he missed your bad jokes a LITTLE, johnson, but he's not gonna be the one to admit it.]

[BUT HARK, WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS? It is the familiar smell of some guy who doesn't wash his leather jacket enough times, and Garcia is his name!]

G! Goodness, it's... is that really how you greet me after all this time apart? Deriding my ability to woo political leaders? I'll have you know that I was considered quite the charmer back in the demon world: granted, it was when I had a bit more finely toned flesh to charm them with, but you know what they say, half that stuff is just in your head!

What, you expected a hug? [number one: he is way too macho for that. you can tell by the rancid unwashed leather jacket smell. number two: you don't got no arms, amigo.]

Even if I do believe you were popular with the ladies, you? And politics? I can't see you in a monkey suit.

Lovely as it would be to feel properly appreciated once in a while, no. I know better than that.

Okay, that I can give you. But to be fair it's not like I've ever tried it. Politics in the demon realm isn't really the same as in the human world, much more straightforward for one. You vote for Fleming, and then you get dunked in the acid-pits.

Mun finally finished their marathon of Grasshopper games, Muse weighs in.

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[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING, IT'S THE SOUND OF PAULA'S REAL THEME MUSIC]

[OOH BOY do I ever know that after turning the volume way the hell down during the chases God woman]

[She could be lead singer in a band and make all of death metal seem quiet]

[I do not even want to imagine how sore her VAs throat was after all that dang]

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