dear_mun | and then rule 63 struck

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and then rule 63 struck - kill me now

And the point of this then? My patience for folly extends only as far as my patience for Starscream's backstabbing, shenanigans and ridiculously short vision.

[Which is to say, not far at all, considering the whine of the cannon.]

You better have a reason for dragging me out here, or Primus help you, fleshling. I am Megatron, lord of the Decepticons, and beings more powerful than you have attempted to chain and own me, and have failed!

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[No he'd like no Megatron at all, actually. But that doesn't fit down the chimney.]

You're not Megatron.

I know Megatron. Megatron's a...guy.

[Unless you get a Cybertronian-sized chimney, maybe! And there'll always be Megatrons! ... even in ways earlier not thought of, apparently.]

... I would think it unwise for something so insignificant to attempt to dictate who I am!

[The timbre may be different... or off, depending on your point of view, but surely you recognize that roar, Sam? And a foot just stomped down right beside you as she leans down over you.]

Perhaps the one you know is a mech, but I. am. not. And further...

[She's smirking narrowly now.]

He's not here. I am.

[Watch that hand, Sam.]

[NONONONONO

Sam will be backing away as fast as he can without actually running. Or stumbling, if he can manage it.]

I always thought I was insignificant, but then he was trying to pull out my brain to get symbols...it's not my fault Megatron doesn't understand the human body!

[Such a delicious chant of denial, boy~

And she'll allow that backing off, merely slamming her hand down slightly behind him.]

Pulling your brain out of your body? Hah! To be of any use, they need to stay inside, even the simplest of my soldiers know this. But then, I'd prefer to not know how you carbon-based sacks of water work either.

[If she had the luxury of that, but alas, twenty years fighting on Earth and you pick up a thing or two... Out of pure exposure as much as necessity.]

And why would he need to pull 'symbols' out of your brain, human?

[Because she's admittedly curious, now.]

Oh, you know—or don't—just, uh...stuff.

[Yeah, and he totally just stumbled over that hand like an idiot, and he'll be half-turning as he backs off all the more.]

It'd make sense if they knew, wouldn't it? But I guess they don't...

"Stuff"? Very... eloquent. I'm sure you know what was in your own brain, boy.

[Ah, there we go. Even if it's factual (if condescending), since you're a human male.

And Sam can attempt to back off all he wants, now, as Megatron (surprisingly gently) grabs him with her other hand, lifting Sam up with one arm caught between two of her fingers.]

Know only what you need about your enemy to subjugate or destroy them. Now. I'd like to know what my... alternate would want with your brain.

[NONONONO OW! OW! Sam will be swinging his other arm around to hate himself later as he grabs hold of lady Megatron to keep from all the weight being on his poor caught arm. Why? Because that hurts!

Oh, and he's not going to be saying anything else. Just grunting and flailing. Hurts to much, baaaw.]

[Oh, stop being such a protoform... or baby perhaps, Sam! That's rather unbecoming for the several-times human hero of Earth, you know.

Megatron will just watch him flail and swing around for a bit; the last human she lifted up like this at least had the fortitude to take the treatment silently (but then, he'd been struck dumb by fear, probably, as the "I can control this giant alien robot" situation turned into "... only not so much".]

I assume you've been of some importance and use to the Autobots, since you knew my designation.

[Alll the scorn, and she finally lets you down on her palm instead.]

Well?

[It's better to be in the palm of the devil than in hi—her path? Maybe?]

Uh...yeah, I'd rather not talk about it. Actually, I'd rather not be here, so I'll just be on my way...

[It's too high to jump. Right? Still, he's going to estimate...]

[Maybe, yes. But when the devil is named Megatron, and is a giant alien robot that could crush you... Maybe not.]

I don't think so.

[She'd been kneeling, so it might have been low enough to jump, but now Megatron stands up, and she closes her fingers slightly; not completely enclosing him, but enough to offer some obstacle... or protection from falling.]

Perhaps it would be wiser to simply tell me what I want to know? The chance it will actually be of use to me is slim, after all... Different universes and all that.

[Tiny, dangerous little smile, and that wasn't really friendly advice.]

O-Oh, you know, just, uh...had some Cybertronian history downloaded into me or something without really, uh, knowing about it...something about a location of something on Earth with something about, oh...power. Old stuff.

Old power stuff.

[Nnngh, Sam really doesn't like this. Like, at all.]

Indeed?

[There's a moment of silence, the only noise the humming of Megatron's engine, before she looks down at Sam again.]

So your Earth has Cybertronian artifacts on its surface too. What was it?

[Well, Sam, you can continue not liking it, because she wants to know more to be able to compare.]

Hell if I know, I never found out...

[He'll just roll over so he doesn't have to face her, calculating just how much pain he'd be in if he jumped. He could do it, he could.

Also, easier to lie when his face can't be seen.]

[He'll... excuse her if she doesn't believe him, right? And also if she's slowly closing her fingers.

And she doens't know about him, but unless he's some sort of upgraded human, she wouldn't recommend he attempt to jump around thirty feet down. Really. But it'd be amusing to see him try.]

Would you like to restate that?

[Yeah, a broken ankle wouldn't be all that worth it, would it? But, ugh, he does not like Megatron in any form, and this is just not cool at all. Hating his mundane all the more now, yep.]

Mun pulled me before I got that far. [LYING LIAR WHO LIES] But, uh...something about a Fallen, I think.

[Come now, this Megatron is all ~different~ (except not really)! Surely that makes it better?]

It would be a pity if you got crushed for having knowledge in your brain you claim not to know.

[Calmly stated, but she pauses with her fingers just gently pressing down at his last few words, and then slowly opens them again.]

The Fallen? So he exists in more than one universe as well.

[Yeah, no. Sam knows enough about Megatron to know that anything done gently is a sign of things to come that are extremely not gentle.]

Another universe? Yeah, I mean...I guess. Guess he does.

[Finally he turns over, staring up at Lady Mega with a curl on his lip.]

So now you know and I can go.

[Definitely and usually that would be what would happen, yes. It's your lucky day today, however, Sam!]

I suppose so, yes...

[And she'll even start to reach down before she pauses.]

And what was the artifact you got this information from?

[... Maybe not so lucky day, after all. Megatron doesn't necessarily believe it'll be the same thing as it might be in her universe, but she will still have the knowledge. Nothing is useless in the case of knowledge, after all.]

[Yeah, so Sam's going to try and stand up, or try and find a he can get around those Deceptifingers to jump down and run the hell away as fast as he can.]

[And things were going so well, too. Why do you gotta mess that up for yourself, Sam?

He should count himself lucky there's no pointy armour plate bits or claws or anything and Megatorn tightens her hand again, straightening up.]

My patience, human, isn't infinite.

[Things might be pretty uncomfortable right now.]

[FREE ~~SHIA~~ SAM! HELP! HE'S BEING OPPRESSED!

Which means he's probably being squished about the middle, having been ready to jump and all. And, ow, yeah, no. The waist is definitely a vital part of the human body, thanks.]

It was just a pair of glasses!

[No one listens to tiny humans anyway.]

... Do I look like a fool?

[Have a close-up as Sam's lifted up to her face and Megatron hisses, because really, a pair of glasses?]

[HFADSKJLHFSKJ yeah this is so not where he wants to be right now (or ever) that he just...must calm panic mode. No panicking, nope. Not. His voice isn't going to crack or anything. Nope.]

I dunno, I mean! My grandfather's glasses...old man...must have seen a lot of things!

[Admirable job of not panicking, Sam, truly impressive.]

Boy. It might be a little more tricky to be... surgical, about my threats considering how tiny you humans are, but--

[And here she'll manhandle Sam until he's hanging by his arms from one hand, one leg caught between thumb and forefinger of the other.]

It wouldn't be impossible to start by crushing your knee joints.

[And here Megatron smirks, and rather unpleasantly too.]

[Sam had no idea giant alien robots could have lipstick.]

Ahh—not cool! Not cool! They were just...

[ADDWIBBADON'TKILLMEEEE]

...there was some code on them or something! I'm not a tech expert!

and then rule 63 struck - kill me now

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I'm laughing. My dictionary accepts "Cybertronian" as a word. Haha!

xD That is amusing, yes~

Encarta is truly a bro.

Clearly it knows something we doesn't.

Top Secret stuff, clearly.

Exciting~

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