usernames are harrrd also voicetesting

[beermestrength]

Pretty sure this one makes me sound like an alcoholic. Should have went with "lovesitalianfood." You know I'm in love with Italian food. Plus, that one can't possibly be misconstrued. Unlike "bigtuna." ...is there a reason all of these are about food?

Comments

[derpmcnerd]

You did just say you're in love with Italian. Sounds kinda major, muns like using stuff like that for usernames.

[ Which would be why Filly here got saddled with such an unfortunate one. ]

[beermestrength]

Oh, yeah, it's pretty serious. You know how people say, "if you love it so much, why don't you marry it?" Well, I did. I married Italian food.

... I've gotta say, I've got nothing for yours. Derp McNerd?

[derpmcnerd]

I could think of worse marriages.

As for my username it's supposed to reflect the fact that I am a huge nerd, and I fail at life.

[beermestrength]

Yeah? Like what?

Oh. That's...not very nice. If you failed at life, you wouldn't be alive, so...it's not very accurate, either.

[derpmcnerd]

Like some of the people I've fallen for in the past.

No offence, but you're being kind of literal-minded here. Not that I don't agree with you, it isn't a very nice journalname.

[beermestrength]

[She just gave a literal answer yet he's the one being literal-minded?]

... None taken. You know I was joking about being married to Italian food, right?

[derpmcnerd]

[ Funny how that works, innit? ]

'Course I do, I was joking too. Well sort of joking. Being married to food really would be a better life decision than some parts of my romantic past.

[bababooey]

My mun certainly likes your username.

[beermestrength]

Is...your mun an alcoholic? Mine likes your username too, though. But that's just because it sounds funny when she reads it out loud. She has no idea what it means. If it means anything.

[bababooey]

She's a little tipsy right now but otherwise, she doesn't seem like the lush type to me. As for my username... I was drunk on Snake Juice and quoting Howard Stern. Not my proudest moment.

[beermestrength]

Ah. Got it. Better make sure she doesn't get her hands on any of that Snake Juice, just in case.

[bababooey]

I'm pretty sure it's illegal now, if it's not, it should be.

[beermestrength]

That bad, huh?

[bababooey]

I thought I was dying for three days straight.

[beermestrength]

[Whistles.] How could you even tell how many days had gone by? That had to have felt like forever.

[oneteenth]

Sounds like you should stop eating so much.

[beermestrength]

And you are...? Wait. Don't tell me you're with the food police. I can't go back to food jail. I just can't.

[oneteenth]

[ oh hell yeah she's down with this!! ]

Maybe you shoulda thought of that before you stole one too many appetizer platters, criminal!

[beermestrength]

[He's all for it, as long as she doesn't go all Dwight on him and pull out actual handcuffs.]

You have no proof! Where's my lawyer? I demand a fair trial in the food court of law!

SCREAMS

[pamcake]

At least you didn't get saddled with 'pamcake'.

AHHH

[beermestrength]

Implied alcoholic, or cute play on words...so hard to decide which is worse...

hello ily basically <3

[pamcake]

[ she smirks. ]

Really? I thought it would be obvious.

right back atcha <3

[beermestrength]

[He, on the other hand, keeps a straight face.]

You're right. Yours is a direct insult to the proud people at the international house of pancakes, who would never employ such tactics for marketing purposes. I think we should go there right now and pay our respects. Maybe with a Viva La French Toast Combo.

[pamcake]

I think we should. It's the only way we'll be able to show our faces in there again without feeling terrible, terrible shame.

[beermestrength]

All right, let's go. [He makes a move to stand, only to cringe in an obviously exaggerated way, bringing a hand to his forehead.] Oh, but you're gonna have to drive. I've had one too many beers.

[pamcake]

[ she gives an exaggerated eye roll. ]

Oh, not again. [ she tries to keep a straight face, but fails miserably. ] Maybe we should just take you to an AA meeting instead.

[beermestrength]

[He cracks a small smile. It's hard to keep up the act when she's like this.] A little help? [The hand that's not still on his forehead reaches out for her.]

[pamcake]

[ she giggles, moving to support him. ]

Well, I suppose helping my drunk husband to the car is the least I can do.

[beermestrength]

[When she's close enough, he tugs her to him so he can plant a sloppy - and "drunken," can't forget "drunken" - kiss on her cheek.]

You're so good to me, Italian food. I'm glad I married you.

[pamcake]

[ she wrinkles her nose. ]

... Italian food? [ she pulls away with a mock gasp. ] Oh my God, are you cheating on me with Italian food?

[ she manages to keep her "angry" face in place for about five seconds, before her lips twitch up in an amused smile. ]