Hello new friends! (HOMELESS)

[1200roundstohappyplace]

Wow! There sure are a lot of new friends around here! I guess I should say hello! Hello! I am the Archon V Automated Sentry Turret! You can call me AVAST for short! That is like pirates! Yay!

I will sit here now. I understand if you are busy, and you do not want to be my friend. But I love friends! So if you come close, I will say hello, and then I will send you to the happy place! It will be great. I love you!

Comments

[evacuator]

[...
...he slowly reaches for his Mortar.]

[1200roundstohappyplace]

Hello friend! You seem to be lacking a Cerberus-authenticated friend-or-foe combat VI signature! THAT MEANS WE CAN BE NEW FRIENDS!

Unless you don't want to be, in which case I would be sad. Now I will help you out in getting to the happy place, by sending you hellos!

[HELLO

by which we mean BULLETS

by which we mean I HOPE THERE IS COVER]

[savor_last_shot]

<sub>[Don't mind Garrus.

He'll just be over here. With his sniper rifle.]</sub>

[1200roundstohappyplace]

Hello? Are you still there? I can't see you, friend! We can't be friends unless you come out! Unless I guess you don't want to? But that would be sad. I would be sad. Please can we be friends? BEST friends! And I can show you the happy place! I haven't seen it but I hear it's great!

YAY

[savor_last_shot]

_{[THIS IS SO UNNERVING.]}

[oracleoflemons]

Hello... friend.

[1200roundstohappyplace]

!

Hello, friend!

You do not have a Cerberus-authenticated friend-or-foe combat VI signature, but you are also an unknown device, so I will not help send you to the happy place!

Yay!

[oracleoflemons]

I'm different.

[I HAVE NO NECK AND I MUST NOD.]

[hypoxia]

[Utah's just going to kind of cautiously poke his head out of cover now. Please don't befriend him with bullets!]

?

[1200roundstohappyplace]

!

Hello, friend!

[sorry but AVAST only knows one way to say hello, and that's bullets]

[hypoxia]

[gxzdfhkhk OH GOD WHY]

[Brb, ducking back behind cover because that stupid bubble shield only covers his head. Stupid Freelancer tech.]

Holy shit, dude!

[neuterskrogan]

[Will just be taking cover behind the nearest krogan thanks 8(

maybe using Incinerate

salarians are made of tissue paper ok 8(]

[1200roundstohappyplace]

Oh no! That hurts! But I just wanted to be your friend???

:(

[neuterskrogan]

[Bullets were probably how most people said "hello" on Omega. Maybe Mordin's used to it. But it still sucks.]

Cease fire! Friends don't fill each other with bullets! [usually]

[snowcloak]

[Holy Arceus what was that?! Ice-types hated Steel moves! And that was why Glaceon was hunkered behind cover waiting until the bullets stopped.

...then after a few minutes a large ice sculpture of a Glaceon was pushed out from behind cover.

Because he can never resist the urge to troll.]

[drell_vanguard]

[CHAAAAAAARGE! and PULL, there goes your shield, asshole! Hahaha, too bad my team is clear on the other side of the map, they totally missed me taking out like twenty Guardians ALL BY MYSELF.

Sigh, it looks like they need my amazing and awesome biotics to help them out. I'll just run out into this totally empty clearing and hurry my ass back over there. God I have to do everything around here, don't worry guys, I'm on my way-

Oh crap, a turret.]

[biipolareye2]

oh gog.
thii2 ii2 my lucky day.

lol omg you are awesome!

[babydolled]

[ staaaaaaaaare. ]

[shotgunhacks]

[Okay, what. No. Tali has no time for this. She has no time for turrets, and she has no time for AI turrets.]

[So she'll hide behind cover and Chiktikka can take care of this.]

[redefinecute]

[FUCK YES IT'S A TURRET GONNA TAKE IT OUT WITH TWO HEAVY MELEES

of course it will have a chance to shoot after the first one BUT MAYBE NOT ENOUGH

HEAVY MELEE!!!]

FOR TUCHANKA!

[drell_vanguard]

[DON'T DO IT, BROGAN. YOU'RE HUGE AND SLOW AND AN EASY TARGET! Just take cover and shoot at it!

Brogan?

BROGAAAAAN YOU'RE IN MELEE WITH A TURRET. You're on your own, brogan.]

[spacesamurai]

[ Seriously? A talking Turret? In all her years...

Never mind. She's just going to be reading a biotic shockwave now.]