Dr. Eggman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
eggsellence) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2013-08-12 09:42 pm
eggsellence) wrote in dear_mun2013-08-12 09:42 pm
Entry tags:
Considering dragonhaven
Well, now, this is most interesting. It's been a dog's age since we last met and the only reason you're dragging me out from the dust and cobwebs is for the promises of hedgehog antics. Feeling a bit of nostalgia for the usual genius against rodent rivalry, eh? I sympathize. In fact, I have half a mind to turn back on the old Robo-Boiler and shove you inside for a nice bath on the house.
I, the brilliant scientist, Dr. Eggman, am not here to entertain or to amuse a horrid little man like you. I've got big plans and I intend to put them to work my way!
... Still, dragons, eh? One can't help but have his curiosity piqued. You know, I could use more data to modify the Egg Dragoon. I've put it to good use against that pincushion TWICE! And I was just about to win if it weren't for... For...
... I don't know, if it weren't for what he ALWAYS does! Ugh. You know what I'm getting at. I'll harness the power of the dragons and establish a "haven" all for myself! It'll be... Egg Heaven! ... Paradisegg? Robotopia. Something.
I, the brilliant scientist, Dr. Eggman, am not here to entertain or to amuse a horrid little man like you. I've got big plans and I intend to put them to work my way!
... Still, dragons, eh? One can't help but have his curiosity piqued. You know, I could use more data to modify the Egg Dragoon. I've put it to good use against that pincushion TWICE! And I was just about to win if it weren't for... For...
... I don't know, if it weren't for what he ALWAYS does! Ugh. You know what I'm getting at. I'll harness the power of the dragons and establish a "haven" all for myself! It'll be... Egg Heaven! ... Paradisegg? Robotopia. Something.
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*One can visibly see the question mark that hovers over Clear's gas-mask-covered head.*
But hedgehogs are tiny and their quills don't even hurt! How can that interfere with a big person like you?
*It seems like he's ignoring the important aspects on purpose... or is he?*
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[Eggman starts running in place to show Clear just what that speed is all about.]
They call him the "fastest thing alive" and his mouth runs even faster! Why, there's never a speech of mine he doesn't ruin!
[Stopping, Eggman points at Clear.]
Trust me, he isn't a problem that can just be stepped on. You have no idea how much I wish he was.
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You can't mean... he's a giant talking hedgehog?!?!
*Goosebumps crawl up his neck - not that it can be seen with the lower part of the gas mask in the way.*
S-scary....
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[He points at himself with such pride.]
Why, I'm doing the world a favor by getting rid of that loathsome pest! He's the only thing stopping it from accepting me as supreme ruler, which isn't a bad deal at all.
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...Do you mean to tell me that you desire to rule the wills of others?
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[He points to his anatomically tiny noggin.]
... the recipe for a real utopia. We could end most of the problems on this world if we just had someone brilliant enough to figure them out for people. I am that man.
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*Clear fixes Eggman with a stare - what kind, exactly, is hard to pinpoint, probably. But the fact that his hands ball up into fists is pretty telling.*
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[Yeah, Clear. You don't hate peace, do you?]
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*Sometimes he forgets to clarify.*
...If that is how you think, I am starting to believe that this "hedgehog" is in the right.
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[He gives a wave of his hand as if dismissing an idea.]
Though don't take my word for it. Join the vermin if you'd like. Everyone cheers him on for pushing back progress, destroying everything I've worked hard to build. This is exactly why people need me to tell them what to do.
[Well, really, he likes doing that anyway.]
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You think just as my Old Master did. No wonder they destroy what you work for.
*He turns around and starts to walk off.*
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Yoooo, Eggster! [ Here's that smug little grin he surely misses so much. ] Sorry to tell ya, but 'third time's the charm' doesn't work for everything, dude. Might wanna try somethin' else! Giant killer robot number fifty-million?
... Fifty-million-and-one, actually.
[ Wait has he been keeping count. ]
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[He crosses his arms in pride at mathing just a little better than his adversary. It doesn't take long before the doctor's mustache droop in the face of his countless losses. Anger is quick to set in and Eggman slams his fist into the air.]
Errgh, but all of that is about to change! The battle data that I've been collecting over the years is bound to create the most invincible robot; one that you can't possibly defeat! Who knows! Maybe the catalyst to unlocking such a marvel is a dragon.
I hear hedgehogs can't stand dragons.
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[ Despite Eggman's comeback, Sonic is quick and witty right to the end, his sharp tongue and daring grin unmatched. ]
Aaaand really? 'Cause some of my best pals are dragons. [ Korrin's a good little dragon, and Maranda's very nice. Not only that, but he's met a lot of other nice reptilians in his time. He can't just hate all the dragons. Discrimination is too uncool. ]
Looks like you've gotta smarten up a bit before you launch your next big one, Doc!
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Well, fine! That just gives me more of an excuse to make robots out of them. If your average, non-mythological animal can power a single robot, I can easily make fuel for another million with a single dragon!
[He leans over and gives the most frightening death glare he can muster.]
Just you wait, Sonic. You won't be criticizing me on minor details for long now. I hate being criticized as much as I hate hedgehogs! ... and I'm aware all three of you are present in the so-called haven.
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Most of us! There's four of us. Forgot Silver, huh? Y'know, the one with the funny-lookin'
pot headtree head?[ Sonic lowers his finger then, giving a bit of an amused chuckle. Eggman is just plain hilarious when he's angry. No ifs, ands, or buts. He really is like a little kid. ]
Thought you'd know that by now if you hated us so much. Guess you're really goin' senile now.
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[He shudders.]
You know, I'm not the only one who wants to forget about the whole Soliana affair.
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[ However, this Sonic unfortunately doesn't remember the whole Soleanna zaniness, so he just gives him a perplexed look. ]
Though, uh... what happened in Soleanna, exactly? Worst that I've seen happen there was some creepo tryin' to be me! [ Fucking Sonicman. ]
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[Eggman had most of it blocked out. He doesn't remember anything. Especially not animal on human romance. Gosh no.]
How'd you met Silver in the first place again?
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Hmm. Dunno if you were even aware, man, but Eggman Nega? You know, real bad Original the Character recolor of ya? Yeah, met him through that. He was kinda mislead, buuuut he just kinda had to deal with that guy in the end.
Shame, too, 'cause I would'a liked to see him throwing boxes at you instead!
[ IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNY, NO LIE. ]
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Listen, it's not me who's doing anything mean to them. They have a nasty habit of always getting in my way!
[Then again, he DID kidnap Amy, but Maria needn't know about that. This would generally be a more heartfelt reunion, but over the years, Eggman has been mentally more preoccupied with his ambitions.]
There's no, uh. Meanness in what I'm doing, my dear, but you have to understand that I can't tolerate any more roadblocks to my plans! Can't you... peacefully talk them out of standing in my way, Maria?
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You just called them 'rodents' though...
[No. No, she doesn't. Amy is teaching her to bake. Best hedgehog friend besides Shadow.]
You'll be in the Havens though. You won't need to worry about them getting in the way since we're all safe there.