In which Sam Winchester is not amused

[goodintentioned]

Because the road to hell is paved with good intentions, right.

You know, you're nowhere near as funny as you think you are.

[Kind of like a certain other person she could name.]

Comments

[ginormotron]

[There are not enough eyebrows in the world. Sorry, alternate!Sam, but this Sam is just gonna... stare for a few moments. Because wat.]

[goodintentioned]

Generally speaking, if we gawked less maybe we'd get called a moose less.

[Guy!Sam's aren't a big deal for her, she has to share living space with one.

Though maybe that's just wishful thinking.

[Seriously, why a moose?]

[ginormotron]

[Wow, that's weird. 'Cos that's unmistakeably his voice, when she talks, just... female. He pulls himself out of staring and into actual conversation.]

I, uh, I'm pretty sure that has more to do with-- size than a tendency to gawk.

[pause]

Do you get called moose?

[Because yeah, she's tall, but she's hardly Sam's 6'5 and musclebound freakishness.]

[goodintentioned]

[Don't worry other!Sam, Sam believes in your brain's ability to process this...eventually. They are supposed to be the smart Winchester after all.]

Who says it can't be both? You know, I'm still not sure which is worse - Moose or any variation on Jolly Green Giant.

[She makes a face at his question.]

What? You think because just I'm girly you I get off lucky somehow? Because I don't.

[After all, what's a good name for an athletic looking woman who's around six foot? If you ask the world, it's clearly moose. Sam doesn't like being called a moose. In retrospect, it's worse than jolly giant.]

Sure, You're big for a guy, but I'm freakish for a girl.

[ginormotron]

Jolly Green Giant.

[Sam says this with some feeling. His expression goes slightly guilty, though, when she bitchfaces at him (and seriously, the fuck, he knows that expression because it's his own) and asks him if he thinks she gets off lucky. Because man, he can't imagine being a female hunter. Not because it'd make him any less able to handle what he does, but because... there aren't a lot of female hunters. Most of them are big, burly, Middle American dudes with all the tact and care of a wood chipper, and a lot of them treat women like shit. A lot of them would probably resent a woman taller than them with muscles to match. He doesn't know what he'd do on the receiving end of all that.]

[He pulls an apologetic face.]

Sorry, yeah, that was stupid. You, uh, [and a tiny, wry smile] look like you could kick anyone's ass who called you the wrong name, though.

[goodintentioned]

Moose. [She smiles, ever so slightly.] I've stopped wearing green though, just in case. No reason to make it worse, you know?

[Naturally, she can read him like a book. Silly Sam, not like he's ever treated her wrong. So what's there to feel guilty about?]

That's not what I meant, you realize. Hunters know better than to try anything stupid. I'm a Winchester. [With all the flaws that comes with, it also comes with a whole ton of backup. Not too many people dumb enough to tangle with John's youngest, even if he is dead. And let's not even talk about older sibling Winchester (because you never know when it's Dean or Deanna so.. yeah)]

The ones dumb enough to try soon learn it's not worth it. [She shrugs one shoulder, being pretty passe about the fact that she's taken a few hunters in hand about doing stupid shit before.] Because I can kick anyone's ass who did anything stupid, same as you.

[ginormotron]

[Guilt is a Winchester speciality. Coupled with a sudden flashback to his forcible education by one of Jess's friends who was a Women's Studies major at Stanford; man, he hasn't thought about that in years]

[He's just now intensely curious about which ways she's different from him, in which ways she's the same, and it feels good, actually, that familiar humming spark of inquisitiveness independent of a hunt. It's been a while. But he's not going to swamp her in a deluge of questions all at once, and he smirks crookedly.]

There's the advantage to being a freak, huh?

[And then, because he has to ask at least one question,]

Is Dean-- is Dean a girl too? Or, a woman, I guess, in your-- what're we talking, alternate universe?