THAT TRAILER.

[jotunblooded]

So I finally get to meet the woman who started my brother on this newfound path. Wonderful. I do hope we have time to talk, around the newest disaster to plague that miserable world. I have so many things I wish to say, if people get tired of hitting me. 

And I am even to be allowed out of my box, to be at the beck and call of my brother and his friends. Just like old times! The only difference being, of course, that they have all learned a very valuable lesson at long last. One that even you humans grasp more easily. [Never trust a scorpion to change its nature. No matter how much it might sometimes wish it could.]

But even I can be moved by a threat to two worlds, even if neither of them are mine. And anything is better than continuing to pace the floor. Focusing my efforts on developing telekinetic powers were my only real recourse against further insanity. And if an opportunity to escape being put back on my leash as their pet monster presents itself...then they were warned. He understands. "Family" is a meaningless idea, in the face of some things.

Comments

And this is why we do not fact check on Wikipedia. Also, apologies for the tl;dr crazy.

[jotunblooded]

Then take it for yourself, if you are so fond of it. I see you have designs on becoming quite the liar in your own right. Even if only one who repeats what he is told.

[The fact that "Silvertongue" had ever been meant as a compliment is news to Loki. He'd once been able to acknowledge that there was probably good intentions behind the name, but it had only ever seemed mocking to him.

It's not even that he's fond of twisting people's words - or, well, not entirely. He barely thinks about it anymore. This - all of this - reads as such a bold-faced lie to Loki that he just stares at Volstagg for a moment, amazed that someone would actually try to deceive him. Does Volstagg think he's an idiot? Loki remembers how it really was well enough.

His skepticism lasts until Volstagg brings up Odin and Frigga, however. Then, he just looks angry. How dare he. How dare he talk about what he could never understand. Thor might have been the one to throw him off the Bridge, but Odin still there and watched. But, of course, they wouldn't have said as much. Certainly not to these four, his brother's most trusted and staunchest allies. Is there really any point in trying to correct Volstagg?

As for Frigga...that's almost worse. Even now, he can't find a reason to hate the woman who he still catches himself thinking of as "his" mother. If he has doubts, or a memory of how things really were, they're focused there.]

I'm not sure. Show me someone who valued my presence and I suppose I'll see. [He killed Laufey, and Thor was always going to inherit the throne, so...what use was he to them anymore? Of course they threw him away. He should have seen it coming, but he was a fool back then. Loki wishes it could have been as Volstagg said.] Are you really lecturing me on my own life?

Hey, I'm not complaining! (though I apologize about MY tl;dr)

[volstagged]

And now you impugn the veracity of Volstagg? Have you simply flown so far from the truth you find yourself unable to even recognize it anymore? [Because yeah, Volstagg will meet his eyes without an instant's hesitation. Did they smartass at each other? Absolutely. Was it a single whit worse than jibes at Fandral or Hogun? Not in his eyes.

And given that Thor's recounting of the Bifrost incident was more along the lines of "He didst let go seemingly for no reason but to make me feel REALLY BAD", even if Loki's inner monologue was expressed he still wouldn't get sympathy.]

How many times need I point out that one stands before you? You were always the clever one, and architect of many a day's delight. Thor was always the one every soul in Asgard would follow, but if not for cunning Loki where would he lead us to?

[But honestly, Volstagg doesn't have all that much hope for heartfelt pleas, and he'll give the trickster a flat look at the last.] You went from esteemed prince of Asgard, scarce a step away from the throne itself with father, mother, and brother all needing you... to an outcast creature, caged and alone, all because you insisted on being acclaimed as king. You turned your back on family because a regency was too small for you. Your life surely needs a lecture, Loki.

[And given how Volstagg is such a family man himself, who better to deliver it?]

We can tl;dr at each other. In our pain. Because *ow*.

[jotunblooded]

I doubt the intelligence of Volstagg. I've never thought you were bright enough to come up with your own lies. [Which is a desperately cheap shot that Loki is almost ashamed to resort to. He really shouldn't make Volstagg angry because the warrior probably could just overpower and sit on him. Physically, Loki was always the weakest of the group. But if it means they start fighting like he's expecting and stop talking about...all of this, all of these meaningless things from the past that are giving him a headache to think about, then Loki finds that he's okay with that.

But Volstagg isn't stupid. At the least, he has a gift for words that Loki has never really appreciated, up until right now when they hit him like the collapse of a small mountain. So Volstagg might see that his pleas get through enough to hurt.

He knows. He knows all he's lost. There are days when Loki thinks he would trade all his power for the chance to go back and stop Thor going to Jotunheim that day, stop himself from finding out what he really was. Maybe they'd never thought of him any differently, but Loki had wound up disgusted at himself, and he'd seen his own revulsion reflected in everyone around him. And now that he can't hate himself for what he is any more than he already does, it's spilled over on to them.

Perhaps the greatest curse of a good liar is never being able to entirely trust anyone else.

The void between worlds hasn't done much for his mental stability, and the Tesseract had done even less. But there are still days where Loki is self-aware enough to know that he's given up as much as he lost. Maybe more. To try to and go back would make all of that meaningless, because there is no going back, after all he's done and all he's learned. That life is gone, and there's no point in dwelling on it. That's why he kept moving on, burning his bridges behind him. Admitting he had ever been wrong means that everything he'd done and damaged had been for nothing. The only point in mentioning any of this is that Volstagg is clearly trying to torture him, and Loki is disgusted with himself that he's letting these memories even affect him.

But they are. In the end, being locked in a cell has been both a kindness and a cruelty. It's been...nice, just to have Asgard around him again. But "outcast creature, caged and alone" is about the extent of his life, now. He'd just been too tired to run any more.]

A fine lecture. How you must have practiced it. Are you finished?

No kidding. (Apologies for going missing)

[volstagged]

Of course you do. If Loki is the most clever, then it means all the rest must be utterest fools? Just the sort of reasoning I should expect, from such an embittered soul. [To be honest, the idea of sitting on Loki was getting more appealing... but in a strange way, he felt like he was hurting his former prince more with words alone. Odd, but then Loki had always played with words more than anyone, right?

But have some scoffing now.] We never stopped feeling the repercussions of your treachery, Loki; I've no need of practice to enumerate your failings- or how much suffering you've caused us all, for the crime of not believing your lies. How very proud you must be, hmm?

No biggie!

[jotunblooded]

[He always had - words were his domain, his weapon of choice. And so to have them turned back around on him like this was doing more damage, in its own way, than any physical pain could.

Loki wanted nothing more than for Valstagg to stop talking, was afraid he'd come apart if this went much further, but he just snapped right back, unwilling to relent in the attack if Valstagg wasn't. Like a rabid animal baring its teeth at anyone who came close, regardless of their intentions:]

And when have I ever caused you suffering? Any of you but Thor, who invited it? I saved the Allfather from the giants! If not for Thor, I could have wiped them out forever! [Odin had arrived at the end, to save Thor, but it was because of Thor that the plan had failed. Yes, there had been the Destroyer, but the four of them had gotten in its way.] He is the one who destroyed the Bifrost, not me.

Or are you referring to Earth? Thor was the only one who came to save it, and he came only for the sake of one woman. None of you had any reason to fight for it - I would have left Asgard alone!

[And yet, on some level, he knew that Valstagg was exactly right. Right now, Loki had never been less proud, or felt more embittered.]

[volstagged]

[Rabid animal? Oh, Volstagg could see the resemblance- but more than that, Loki was on the defensive. He'd actually pushed his ex-prince into nothing but flimsy justifications, and if he could weather that (and the inevitable all-out attack to follow) he might actually get through to him! Now if only he'd the wit to keep up the pressure; think, fat man! THINK!]

Aside from when your metal minion battered us about for seeking to do right by our liege and leader? Aside from what you put Heimdall through for his service to the realm- have you any idea what it took for him to recover from that? What of your causing the shining city to be invaded twice by her enemies, purposely endangering said All-father even as you contravened his will? [Not that he'd particularly MIND seeing the end of the frost giants, but even Volstagg knows that going from the Nine Worlds into eight could only have grave consequences.] Did you think none of your actions would have consequences outside yourself? Did you think at all?

And yes, it cost mighty Odin dear to send Thor to cease your meddling, sending more would likely have killed even him. But even supposing that what you say is true, your ambition slaked by dominion over those you never valued from the first, another world sent spinning off its path to satisfy your ego... at what point did handing a grand artifact of Asgard over to star-spanning conquerors seem a good idea? They would make no promises toward your family, proud Prince, now would they? But surely they would never seek to gain more of our treasures, just as surely as they shall never come seeking you now. Isn't it pleasant to know gentle Queen Frigga need never have to see her subjects and family burned by CheetohAiry invasion, Loki? 'Tis a load off your mind, no doubt.

[jotunblooded]

[The news that he might actually have caused Heimdall harm is genuinely surprising, to Loki. And it shows, for a second. He'd been grateful, counting himself lucky, just to get the bridgekeeper out of the way. He told himself, then and now, that he would have stopped the giants if they'd tried to finish him off.

Loki was very good at magic, but where his frost giant blood was concerned, he had very little control, still.]

Chitauri. [He corrected Valstagg without even thinking about it, and so amended, quietly:] You'll need to know what they're named if you mean to face them.

[Because some of the army survived, rallied around Thanos. Loki just hasn't mentioned it because, well, there is no point. There isn't much of a point to anything, where Thanos is concerned, because it's impossible to win.

Thanos scared him. But his brother was a fool, and these were fools for following him.

And Loki might have been able to gather himself for an all-out attack...if Valstagg hadn't slid home the mention of Frigga like a knife between his ribs. If he was a rabid dog, that was the kick that broke his teeth. Making him remember the panic he felt to suddenly be alone with Odin when he slipped into the Odinsleep, afraid to even touch him for fear of burning him, wasn't far behind in terms of pain.]

...and yes. It was. [Why was Valstagg bringing his mother into this? Besides the fact that it was working.

He did think. He planned, he played everyone, and even if he didn't succeed in destroying Jotunheim, he left the resistance of the giants broken for a long time. But he really, truly had planned, hoped to leave Asgard alone, he hadn't wanted them to get involved at all, he'd trusted to Odin not wanting to waste his waning strength sending anyone down to intervene on behalf of humans...

Loki barely has to imagine how things could have gone differently, for Asgard, for them. He's had nightmares, alone in his box. Volstagg started to get through to him a while ago. Loki is just too proud to admit it.]

...why are you even keeping me alive, for all my terrible crimes? Surely all I know is not that valuable.

[A part of him wishes they would just kill him. For someone like Loki, spending the rest of his very long life in a cell and dwelling is, in a lot of ways, the worst possible punishment.]

[volstagged]

I'll face any comer who hopes to despoil us of what we hold dear, fallen prince; if these 'Chitauri' think themselves to ravage Asgard, they'll taste my steel to the hilt. And I promise you even now, Loki, should I be all that stands between them and you- I still will not falter. [Because Volstagg has had enough backing down.

Passing over his pale-faced self-mocking comment with just a derisive snort, Big V went ahead and hit the heart of the matter- why was he still alive? Because it was a worse punishment than death for him? No, they could have a serpent drip venom into his eyes or something if that was the case. Really, it was far simpler.]

Why are you still alive, Loki? Isn't it obvious? Because even if you are no longer trusted, you are still loved. Your family hopes you will one day come to your senses and pick up the pieces of the life you tossed aside, to build yourself a place in Asgard's people where you could be happy, to stop stabbing family members. [Comparisons between Odin and a little old lady who never throws away a piece of string because she might need it one day may be apt, but hardly kind- and Volstagg wouldn't think of it anyway.]

[jotunblooded]

[It isn't obvious to Loki, or he wouldn't have asked Volstagg, of all people. Even the words sound strange, impossible. "You are still loved." Why?

It's not that he doesn't know they still care about him. It's not that he doesn't care about them, in his own broken way. It's that he can't understand how that might be enough. Something as simple as love shouldn't be enough. And he still wonders what it might take to make them stop. Not because he wants that. Just because he feels like it's inevitable, and wants to know when to expect the next shoe to drop.

Still. Even if he's not entirely convinced of everything, he's convinced that Volstagg, at least, believes what he's saying. That he's telling the truth when he says he wouldn't actually leave Loki to hang if, when, the rest of the Chitauri come for him. That's something. That's...nice. Unexpected, and stupid, but touching, and strangely reassuring to hear.

But it also means that Volstagg is definitely going to die, and probably the other three, and probably Thor along with them. And he doesn't want that. It's just another plan to blow up in his face, because he never wanted them to get involved in this because it would get them killed.

He only ever actually stabbed Thor the once. He thinks. And it barely even slowed his brother down. Loki shakes his head at that moment of doubt, the moment of wondering if he's really remembering things as they really happened. It's not a good feeling, and it doesn't go away.]

You have...given me a great deal to think about.

[It costs him a lot to say, to swallow even that much of his vast pride, but he says it, and it's true. The lecture, the words of something like support, or at least closer to support than he's heard in a long time. He doesn't know what to do about any of it. He wants what Volstagg says his family wants, but it seems impossible and he doesn't want to dwell on that hope if it is.

But Volstagg is very hard to ignore, and so he hasn't been ignored. And there are cracks in Loki's defenses that weren't there before.] Because I don't understand. I am a frost giant. The things we used to kill as a matter of course.

[volstagged]

[If any of that was actually said, Volstagg might have some replies- thoughts on the nature of familial love, the effects on it from betrayal, how Thanos wouldn't be having it all his own way- else why didn't he take what he sought earlier? Why did he need help? And so on.

But it wasn't, so he doesn't. He'll just reflect that since he'd already made clear what will happen when Loki betrayed them next, he might as well make clear that he wouldn't betray Loki first. Because by the eternal droppings of Huginn and Muninn, Thor isn't the only one who wants a reformed Loki.]

A frost giant, aye. And why did we war with them? Why did we fight and slay them by the score? Because of your machinations, of course Why did Odin not simply turn the Bifrost's power on Jotunheim from the very beginning, why did he refrain all these centuries, why did he take a frost giant babe to raise as his own?

[This was something Volstagg hadn't understood, once. They were the enemy, so they should be slaughtered, right? It took Odin himself to set Volstagg straight, once Loki was gone; the Allfather actually went ahead and explained himself a little, so the situation wouldn't occur again.] All of that has the same answer, Loki. We battled the Jotunkind not for what they are, but for what they do. Odin always held to the belief that the giantfolk need not be inherently wicked, that one raised well and brought up to be a princely soul could be as worthy as any Asgardian- and even now, he hopes that to be true.

[Despite all your best efforts, Volstagg doesn't say.]

[jotunblooded]

[Despite all his best efforts. Volstagg might not say it, but the intent is clear enough. Loki is worn down enough that he is actually listening, after all. The things he's not saying are mostly going unsaid because he doesn't see the point. Besides, mentioning Thanos might be seen as insulting the courage of Volstagg, and he doesn't particularly want to get sat on anymore.

He doesn't actually wish any of them harm, he thinks. A lot of his actions were born from the irrational but no less piercing fear that they would betray him, instead, when they found out what he was.

Also, hey. As far as he saw it, Thor and his friends looked for chances to throw themselves into danger. If Loki hadn't provided that one, something else would have happened. And maybe not even by his hand. The way things had gone disastrously wrong in Jotunheim still weighed upon him...but even then, things might have been avoided if only Thor hadn't lost his temper. Again.

He knows why Odin took him in - he might make a handy tool later on. "We might achieve a permanent piece. Through you." Maybe it had grown into something more in the centuries after. But that had been how it started.]

You have spoken with him about this, then? [He sounds more amused, than anything - to hear Volstagg talking about the giants in this way is surprising, to say the least, and he can't help but wonder if it's only because Volstagg knows he's talking to one.] Or is this more of my brother's enthusiasm?

[volstagged]

[Volstagg being thrown into battle was generally no great hardship, but to find out that he was avenging a slight initiated by his own side... it made him feel used, vaguely unclean. He was an honorable warrior, and to fight for a dishonorable cause was troubling- though if the princes hadn't been there and he'd been taunted instead of Thor, yeah Big V would absolutely have started kicking ass. Just, none of them should have been there in the first place.

(And admittedly, talk of Thanos would surely lead to bluster. When you're Volstagg the Mighty, you are contractually obligated to be Completely Made Of Awesome ALL THE TIME, even when you're just waking up from a bad-mead hangover and your mouth tastes like a rat died in it, and part of that means purple-skinned wrinklechin goons don't impress you. Blasted contracts.)]

He spoke to all who were involved, in our penance- that we might know the nature of our failings, and how to learn from them. He even claimed some measure of blame himself, for being so sparing with the nature of his plans- but then, such is the burden of a king.

[It's odd, but Volstagg's ancient despite of frost giants and his feelings toward Loki are almost completely separate. Years without end of hating the ancient enemy, who hungered to destroy and despoil all that Asgard held dear- overlaid with a vague notion of what they could be, according to Odin, a foggy imagining of some enormous Asgardesque place wrought of deepest ice and gods and giants marching as allies. Almost a pipe dream, but if Odin claimed such peace was possible...

But things were different with Loki. He knows Loki, he remembers the little scamp who would pull the beard of a younger (and slimmer) Volstagg. He saw the prince grow up, sly and clever and able to convince a soul that day was night even as the sun was beating down on him. The 'oh yeah, frost giant' barely entered into it, because he knew Loki- or thought he did.]