canon | the thick of it

[omnishambles]

Let's get one thing bloody straight, you fucking oriental ectoplasm. If you think you're signing me up for the fucking long run, you better have something good up your sleeve beyond a free labor plan cum drafting policy. I don't care who else you've got stowed away in this fucking myopic jack-in-the-box; yes, I realize I haven't got any say in the matter — if y' want to know how I feel about that, I'm referring you to my fucking blood pressure — but if you don't make this worth my time, you won't be able to differentiate me from Gordon Ramsay on fucking cocaine, and every little action you take from a fucking shitty little risotto, I'm fucking serious.

—Oh, and don't start with me on that fucking sci-fi Dune bullshit. What am I supposed to be excited about? Fucking EastEnders? As much as we all enjoy high fantasy — look, I'll give you this one for free — it's something I prefer to keep to the privacy of my own bedroom, yeah?