So much voicetesting.

[hitorabu]

Don't you think it's about time to get this started? You can keep going on about canon reviewing, canon reviewing, canon reviewing - but we both know that's just an excuse.

It's true, there seem to be a number of me out there, but you're already not as bad as the worst of them - and you'll never get to be as good as the best of them unless you actually do something. I'm not getting any younger, you know? Not to be rude, but you're not the most interesting person to observe. At least let me out to play a little.

I'm not asking for much. Just the occasional meme will do, for now. I won't even complain about this pigsty you call a headspace. I'm used to better accommodations, though... Better company, too. Really, they're too loud.

But if even that is too much for you...

Oh, did I get your hopes up? Haha, sorry! Actually, I'm not planning on going anywhere. Not until you at least give me a test run or two.

Comments

[totallysane]

I should have realized you would eventually annoy her into submission, Izaya-san. Are you happy with yourself?

[yeah, his mun may be dancing, but he's mostly just amused and vaguely concerned.]

[hitorabu]

[So rude, Mikado. You need to evolve a bit more if you're going to live up to that sort of talk.

Izaya can't wait to see if you'll manage.]

You'd have people believe that this is all my doing. I may have encouraged her a little, but the idea was all hers.

[totallysane]

I think it's become instinct to believe you had a hand in any traumatic incident, Izaya-san.

[Look how polite this expression is. They're friends, after all, right?]

[hitorabu]

[Best friends, of course, of course! Izaya has nothing but love for his adorable little kouhai.

You know. The one he hasn't destroyed yet.]

Oh? I think you've been behind a fair number of traumatic incidents yourself... or don't they count as traumatic if you enjoy them?

[totallysane]

I think that might depend on the point of view you're considering...

[The sheepish head-rub is a thing.]

Perhaps you should consider being careful about the venues your mun chooses for you though. Things can get very traumatic around that meme place. I'm not sure even you would enjoy some of those things.

[hitorabu]

Worse than in your games?

[Have a knowing smile in return.]

But I'm flattered that my cute little kouhai tries to look out for me. Your selflessness is truly admirable.

[totallysane]

That's not really any of your business.

[Is that the cold voice? Why yes, it totally is.]

I am not sure I would call it selfless. If that "mun" of yours decides to put you anywhere too terrible, I'll probably be right there with you.

[Siiiiiigh.]

[hitorabu]

Given the nature of my business, there aren't a lot of things that aren't my business.

I see how it is... Out of sight, out of heart. [He's hurt, really! ... Okay, not really.] I remember a time when you sought me out of your own free will.

[The smile's still there, fixed as ever, but when Izaya speaks again, there's the slightest edge to his voice. Just enough to drive home his point.]

Actually, I don't remember a time when that wasn't the case.

[totallysane]

[Sadly, Izaya is right. Cue the blushing as Mikado realizes it. He really would like to be able to say something snarky back, but the mention of places he's in makes that a little difficult.]

I won't this time.

[Pause.]

Unless you visit one of those murder memes. I might then.

[hitorabu]

[There's a moment when it almost looks like Izaya is shocked, or possibly about to choke on something. Then he bursts out laughing. He can't help it! As much as he loves seeing Mikado evolve, the boy is really getting ahead of himself.

Just to emphasize how scared he isn't, he puts a hand on Mikado's shoulder, and leans in close, his expression like the Laughing Buddha's.]

I'll be sure to drop in, then, if one of those memes pops up again.

Just for you. [It's his own, personal declaration of love, and spoken as one.]

[totallysane]

I'll look forward to it, Izaya-san.

[Smiiile.]

My mun and I are both so happy that yours decided to give you a try. It's very exciting.

[Pause.]

Not boring at all.

[hitorabu]

I agree.

[Releasing Mikado, Izaya resumes talking eagerly, almost playfully, as if they hadn't just discussed how Mikado wants to kill him.]

It's already gotten more interesting more quickly than I'd imagined... Well, there's still a long way to go. There are a lot of people I haven't seen yet, and more I wish I hadn't seen.

Ah - but those are not actually people, of course.

[Nevermind him; he'll just be over here, talking to himself.]

[totallysane]

Surely you don't have that many plans already?

[He's very unhappy suddenly, as he realizes just how many of his friends Izaya might have access to now. After all, these two muns move in a lot of the same circles, don't they? No, that's not okay! ]

You should... start small. Take it easy.

[hitorabu]

Plans? Oh, I wouldn't call them plans exactly...

[Intentions, maybe. But he doesn't suppose the difference means much to Mikado, and that's fine too. Izaya's smile is still firmly present - maybe a little more firmly, now, with another kind of amusement behind it.]

But I'm curious. What small plans would you recommend? Aside from you killing me, of course.

[Your own plans aren't that small either, Mikado.]

[totallysane]

Hmmm.

[He pauses, taps his lip with his finger, thinking it over quite seriously.]

Sometimes there are confession memes. Those might be nice. And you know, I'm pretty sure I've seen some about torture and interrogation. Also...

[Pause.]

There's one for therapy, I think? You could probably use that.

[hitorabu]

Could I? Hmm, you may be right. But I think you should go first.

[It's almost getting tiresome, forcing Mikado to face facts - but only almost. Really, it's like trying to train a puppy! But, as in that case, one just can't let them get away with everything.

People can lie to themselves all they want, and that's fine; it's amusing enough in itself. But if they insist on thinking that they're better than Izaya (or anyone else, for that matter), he sees no problem with bursting their bubble.]

Let's see... You created the biggest gang in town, refused to give it up when it got far too big for your little middle school self to manage... That's some sort of messiah complex, isn't it? Barely managing to keep going, refusing to give up no matter what the cost... even if it requires selling your soul to the very gang that destroyed your best friend's life.

[Does he need to keep going? Let's face it, he probably can.]

[totallysane]

[He knows that he should keep a straight face. He's managed before, and he can manage again. But that's different. It's one thing to put it on for a specific situation, it's another to have to listen to Izaya saying those things and...

Mikado's expression gives him away, just how deep the barbs go in.]

I think that's enough, Izaya-san. Perhaps we'll skip that one after all.

[Pause.]

Then again, I think anything would be better than the kind we're doing now.

[hitorabu]

[Ah, there it is... A predictable reaction, of course, but still a satisfying one, from someone like Mikado. Check.]

Ohhh? Are you sure?

[Mikado is really asking for it. But, if that's the case, Izaya would hate to disappoint.]

It seems to me like you're enjoying that one, lots and lots.

[totallysane]

That's only because the setup requires it, obviously. One really must be careful not to take these things too seriously, Izaya-san.

[He will not blush.

He will not blush.

He will not blush.

Yeah, he's blushing.]

[hitorabu]

How gracious of you not to disappoint the meme makers.

[Izaya knows better, of course. But, for now, he'll let Mikado have this one.

That meme isn't over yet, after all.]

[totallysane]

I do have a certain work ethic.

[It's a good excuse. And Izaya isn't calling him on it. So that's fine, right?]

You just be sure to play your part.

[donjuanofsaitama]

[There's a chuckle from the Toromaru boss.]

Hey, come on--Play nice now. The muns can get pretty nasty when they want to be, y'know.

[hitorabu]

Terrifying, I'm sure.

And how is your method of dealing with them working out for you?

[donjuanofsaitama]

It's all fun and games till they start bringin' out their claws.

Me? Ah, my lovely lady over here has been well-behaved lately. Hasn't thrown me into any weird places, buuuut if she gets a little mean, I just turn the charm on.

[Keep telling yourself that, Chikage.]

[hitorabu]

Hmm... No, of course you wouldn't go for that.

How convenient that she's so easy to manipulate. I'm sure you'll have no trouble at all, then.

[donjuanofsaitama]

You should give it a try one day, try to melt your mun's ice queen of a heart.

Mmm, she can be a fickle thing, but she can cooperate with the right sort of bribery.

[hitorabu]

I think my own methods will be a lot more effective in this particular case. But I'll keep your advice in mind. [In case he ever needs anything to laugh about.]

But I'm curious! Just how do you manage to bribe yours? How far do you go with that charm of yours?