canon is Welcome to Night Vale...

[andnowfor]

Good evening Mundane. Yes you, listening in on your couch, trying to drown out the empty echoing silence with the soothing sound of my voice. This is Cecil Baldwin, talking directly to you from Night Vale Community Radio. This is a broadcast about you.

You may be feeling a sense of deja vu, a prickling on your skin, at the base of every hair on the back of your neck as they begin to stand on end. Perhaps you've heard this all before, or perhaps the angels are looking over your shoulder, breathing into your ear. These are the same angels, of course, that may or may not exist and whom we know nothing about. Be assured that it's probably not the angels. You probably have heard this before.

Now, you know me, Mundane. I would be the last person to object to having someone planning out every detail of my life. I'd say relax, enjoy the relief from that endless anxiety that comes from making decision after decision. Let someone else take on your burdens and suffer your slings and arrows. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing, nothing at all.

I would say that, if it weren't for beautiful, perfect Carlos. My majestic Carlos, who might worry if I were to give over my...inalienable rights to an all-seeing, all knowing cosmic being without so much as a scientific inquiry.

[ a chuckle, one that ends in a giddy, affectionate sigh. ] That is just like those scientists, with that classic comedic wit.

We'll continue with this story after a word from our sponsors.

Comments

[idkworldruler]

Please, you've already allowed for another to take control.

Fnord

[andnowfor]

You know, you're right. I don't know what I was worrying about, I feel lighter and less burdened already.

[idkworldruler]

Good, glad I could illuminate you. Now can you tell me about your date with Carlos?

[andnowfor]

[ cue that sigh again, and a hum. ] Oh, well, that. It was a m a z i n g . He held my hand and like, all I could think was oh my god he's holding my hand and he didn't even seem to mind that I couldn't even get a word out. He gets me, you know? He knows I'm smart, I don't need to show him that.

[idkworldruler]

You are smart. You must be in order to bag a "scientist". [Now you see, this is why he loves this podcast, the narrator.]

Perhaps you should see if he would like to take it to the next level? [He's talking about sharing a house.]

[badhaircut]

[ :| ]

Not that it's not very flattering, Cecil, but-- [ well, what is he supposed to say? it's embarrassing being so luridly complimented over the air.

but more importantly: ] Anyway, I should say so. I need to do a lot more study of these mundanes.

[andnowfor]

[ ohgeeohgollyohmy hi there Carlos, perfect beautiful Carlos. Even your mere presence makes this here radio host's heart and stomach go all aflutter. ]

Oh?

[ smooth Cecil, smooth. ]

[badhaircut]

Well.. yes. I mean, I wouldn't want you to be hurt or anything. And until we know more about them, we won't really know that they're not.. [ a pause. ] Then again, what am I saying? You're a Night Vale native. I'm certain you're accustomed to stranger.

[andnowfor]

You know you're right. Thank you! That does say something about me. As for that....well, he's been so smooth. I wouldn't want to get ahead of myself.

[andnowfor]

We can't be that much stranger than other towns. What, do the secret police not bug everyone's phones or something?

[badhaircut]

[ he smiles a little, shaking his head. ] Night Vale is a lot more unique than you all think it is, Cecil.

[andnowfor]

[ Oh damn that smile, making him weak in the knees. ] You're a lot more unique than you think you are.

[ Okay, less smooth. ]

[badhaircut]

Only in Night Vale. I'm so average anywhere else that I'm downright bizarre there.

[andnowfor]

[ he laughs --that was a joke, right? You're so funny, Carlos. ]

Oh, yeah, because everyone and their brother is a beautiful, brilliant scientist outside of Night Vale. Right.

[badhaircut]

[ he blushes at the comment, rolling his eyes a little and lifting a hand to cover cecil's mouth. ] .. Honestly, Cecil.. The things you say, sometimes. [ he lowers his hand, then leans up to give him a quick peck. ] You're certainly good for my self-esteem, I suppose.

[idkworldruler]

I suppose that's true, it might upset his whole game. You should play along for now.