dear_mun | (no subject)

That's one interpretation. [ A little harsh don't you think. ] But if the Ripper is a sensible man, he should know I wasn't in my right mind when I claimed his title. No offense meant, but if I do have to apologize then so be it.

Anyway. In retrospect I'd like to think of it more as a homage.

[The truth often hurts, Abel. Hannibal is either a super good actor (truth) or Gideon is just so deluded it's impossible for him to see properly.

He hasn't gotten as close to him as he had to Will, but surely Chilton wouldn't have some sort of trust for someone who could be so wicked, could he?]

If your apology was not genuine, I would think it would make the situation worse. He must be very offended, and to tack on such an insincere thing would be further insult.

Why would it be anything but genuine? Have a little faith in me. I'm capable of sincerity.

The last thing I want to do is disrespect the Chesapeake Ripper.

[ At least upon first impression. ]

You don't think you've already done that, Doctor Gideon? If someone took credit for your murders, would you not be aggravated? Would you want to simply talk to the actual perpetrator as opposed to skipping the talk and taking their life?

Well. Even if I did kill them I'd like to hear them out. Might as well get the full story before you kill the only person who knows it.

What would you do?

[The million dollar question! Or not really, Hannibal gets asked that a lot.

By basically every one of his patients.]

I, personally, would stay in the hospital. I would never harm anyone else as you harmed the night nurse or the men who were in charge of your transport. I would accept the consequences of my actions and keep my nose out of trouble.

And I would work towards bettering myself inwardly, without the help of Doctor Chilton.

If only I'd had the luxury. Can't always pick your doctors, unfortunately. I'd have been content staying under Dr. Bloom's care for however long it took.

But. It's a little late for all that anyway. Maybe a better question is, if you were the Chesapeake Ripper, would you want to kill me?

No. You can't. Perhaps I'll have a word with him on your behalf, if you'd like.

[Good God, Abel. You can't just ask people if they're crazy ass cannibals!]

If I were the Chesapeake Ripper [masterly use of the hypothetical] I wouldn't be able to. You're in a hospital. And that's why I said you should stay there, because hell might await you should be out in society in any fashion and the Ripper finds you. You might become a stew or an appetizer. You don't want that, do you?

If you could. Assuming he wouldn't simply decide to transfer my care elsewhere. Couldn't blame him too much if he did.

[ Look it's a hypothetical this time. Purely. ]

Not really. Interesting dilemma you pose. Death and freedom, or life and captivity... given only the choice between the two, though, hard to say which is more worth it.

From what I have managed to gather in regards to Frederick [use of his first name like what up we're old friends i can do that watch me and feel awe or something] would lead me to believe he would have you back in his care as soon as he was able [heh] to be back at work. I imagine restraints would be stricter and you'd have little to no privileges, but he'd want you back. He seems...to enjoy collecting specific types of people in the aim to make them his [it should end there, basically, and he's pretty sure Abel is smart enough to know that] patients. To care for them in his way until he manages a break through.

[And not a break through his stomach but oh well too late.]

That's for you to decide. But I would, on a professional and even personal level, recommend you not to cause physical harm to anyone.

Ever the control freak, yes. I do know that, but-- [ Hrm. ] Well. Wouldn't put it past him, though I'm not sure he's such a masochist. It'd be in his best interest to keep some distance lest I be... provoked.

Sound advice. Wasn't on the immediate agenda as of... now, Dr. Bloom was the last mark on my list and to be honest, hadn't been particularly keen on having to kill her to begin with. If I didn't have to.

[ He doesn't really know if he still has to or not. ]

You never had to kill anyone, Abel. You wanted to. Some part of you, at least, recognized that you had the desire to kill and acted on that, whether or not you immediately "gave" yourself permission to do as much.

[But God if he had taken out Alana...]

Killing Doctor Bloom would do nothing to get you closer to the Chesapeake Ripper. It would just result in her death and more punishment for you. So why try in the first place?

I wanted to, yes. Because I had to. Of course that's not to say I didn't enjoy myself a little bit, but. For the most part, pure necessity.

[ Fairly candidly: ]

I thought it may at least make me feel better.

[He enjoyed watching her through that window, didn't he.

Creep.

- Not Hannibal Lecter]

There's a starting point for you, Abel: how does something that makes me feel good impact another person? If it's negatively, that's to be avoided. Hurtful words, for instance. If it results in their death to alleviate some sense of sadness? [Das bad] Then you should not do it.

[This is free therapy hour, apparently.]

There is a whole world out here, Abel. You cannot get rid of human life in order to validate your own, and your own is currently muddled. Still, you must remember that violence is not to be tolerated, and acting out as such will result in nothing but more punishment.

You see the sense in that, don't you?

[Hannibal does. He'd also like to see how Chilton would go about trying to explain the same Goddamn thing with his hands folded and that obnoxious ring sticking out like three sore thumbs.]

[ He did just a little bit. Shush what's the big deal!! Is liking people a crime now. ]

You don't give me nearly enough credit. I know that killing is wrong. But-- [ Whatevah. ] That didn't stop the Chesapeake Ripper. So why should it stop me? I hadn't planned on killing anyone... after my wife... but life can be surprising.

I see the sense. Don't always agree with it, though. Sometimes sense has nothing to do with what's right in a moment.

[No. But murdering them is. God, Abel, keep up. This isn't neurosurgery.

...wait.

Rocket science?]

Doctor Gideon. You are not the Chesapeake Ripper. [Good God, defending his identity to a cheap knockoff, what has his life come to?] He is not a figure you should idolize. Trying to get his attention any further is, in all likelihood, going to further the grave you've dug with him. If you think it's right to anger a man who eats human organs and mutilates the owners while they're still alive, I am afraid it may be impossible for anyone to be of actual help to you.

You don't understand.

[ He's so frustrated although he can't quite articulate why it's so important, either. Why can't anyone get him?? ]

What have I got to lose? The Chesapeake Ripper is the only man alive I need to speak to before I myself die. I've exhausted my other options. [ Ugh. ] I'd like to meet him. That's all.

[No, why can't Abel get him?

Probably because he's so superior, but hey; Hannibal doesn't need to pat his own ass.

...daily, at any rate.]

You've got your life to lose, Abel. You're confused, and that is understandable. You needn't let Frederick know you've got a death wish, as well, because I cannot believe he would take kindly to that, and what life you have now would be undeniably made worse.

It isn't a death wish.

[ Not exactly. The narcissist part of him clings to survival, though it's a bit lost without the rest of him to hold it in place. ]

Quite the opposite. It's what I need to get my life back.

[Is this really what psychic driving does? Goddamn. He can't tell if he's impressed or horrified, which is a rich state for a cannibal serial killer to ever be in.]

Get your life back and lose it a few minutes later. Do you not see the wrongness in that desire, Abel?

[ Maybe it is a little silly. He can understand that but that's different than... caring. ]

If my priorities made sense to everyone they wouldn't be calling me crazy, now would they?

Do they even make sense to you?

[Abel, Hannibal needs you to tell him what time it is and draw a clock.

In permanent marker.

On the glass of your cell.

Don't tell Frederick, okay?]

Edited 2013-07-31 11:31 (UTC)

[ He has to think about that one.

Though not for long. ]

Most of the time.

[Maybe Hannibal should just kill him to put him out of his misery. Show a bit of mercy, because Goddamn, this bastard is a basketcase ~~of ostrich eggs~~ if there ever was one.]

And the times they don't, are you aware of them? Are they when you're being seen to by your doctor?

[Tell him more about this psychic driving, plz & ty]

Usually. Not necessarily. My sessions, in fact, often left me very clear-headed. Not, as is obvious now, in any productive way. Hindsight's 20/20, as people say.

[ Gosh Hannibal that's a sensitive subject. ]