Re: Currents

[runboyrun]

...

What? I got nothing.

He's dead. And Derek is broken in ways I don't even know if you can fix. And yeah, I've seen the comments circling about magical healing vaginas, but he needs help. Like, actual psychiatric help. I don't even think he wants to be fixed.

[He scrubs his fingers through his hair.]

But hey. Scott saved Deaton, right? That's a win? Except my Dad saw that whole thing, and he's probably freaking out, if he hasn't just cut to the heart attack already. And that means that every medical professional in Beacon Hills is back on the menu, including Scott's Mom.

I can't- I can't fix this. We're so out of our depth here, we can't even see the bottom. People are dying, and I can't-

Comments

[suck_it_up_guy]

Sounds like someone needs a checkpoint breather, with optional pizza.

[runboyrun]

This is my checkpoint breather. In between the phenomenal amounts of shit pouring in from both sides.

[suck_it_up_guy]

Really?

[The raise of his eyebrows and slight cock of his head amounts to almost the same amount of sass as the Hale family manage.]

Come on, this isn't a breather, a real breather you get to wind down. I find meditation's pretty good.

[runboyrun]

[Stiles is an expert in Hale sass. It doesn't even faze him.]

Really.

Funnily enough, in between psycho Alphas trying to encourage my friends to get murdery on each other and the homicidal druid going around staving heads in and slashing throats and my dad about to figure it all out and watching people I care about die, I don't get in a lot of time to meditate.

Also I have ADHD.

[suck_it_up_guy]

Well aren't you just right outta a horror flick...

[He pauses and hums, debating silently for a moment before folding his arms and giving a firm nod.]

You've got time now. C'mon, I'll see what I can teach you, because you good sir need some relaxation before you get back into the game.

[runboyrun]

You...

Seriously?

[suck_it_up_guy]

I'll have you know I'm the mentor of the best fighter in Toronto. Where do you think he got his tricks from?

[Wallace slumps onto the floor and crosses his legs, patting the spot next to him.]

Give it a try, and if it's a no go then I'll still buy you chill out pizza. Win win situation right, guy?

[runboyrun]

[He considers this. Taps his foot against the floor while he weighs up his options.]

I get to choose the topping.

[And he slumps right down next to him, because hey, free pizza.]

[suck_it_up_guy]

[He gives a nod with a slight smirk, his hands on his own knees.]

Fair enough.

[Sitting up slightly, he stretches, letting everything pop that needs to. But above all else - blood flow.]

Relaxation and circulation are the key in meditation - gotta be able to sit still for a long time. But, for you, baby steps. So take a good long stretch, hell go to town on that bad boy, just to get your body less tense.

[skybluejeep]

Hnngh. For real.

God damn it. Everything sucks and is sucky.

[runboyrun]

...I would make some witty comment about 'you're telling me', but unless you're a weird pod person, you're already having that witty thought anyway.

[He sighs.]

I was just telling Isaac how no dead people equalled a win for our side. I guess that means we lost that round.

...Yeah. Felt like a loss.

[skybluejeep]

Big time loss. Big. I...I mean we were never really friends. But it's still...shit.

I'm beginning to understand why Dad has such a huge liquor cabinet.

[runboyrun]

Sad thing is, it's not Boyd that gets me. I mean... he's dead. And it sucks. But for him, the bad part's over. But Derek, and Cora... She was full-on sobbing, and I don't think I've ever seen Derek look that wrecked.

[skybluejeep]

Yeah. No kidding.

And not only that, but now he's got the blood of a Beta on his...hands. Claws. Whatever. So now the Alpha pack can practically claim him as their own forever. Which is so many levels of bad I can't even describe it.

[runboyrun]

I don't care how many betas he kills - Well, I do. Of course I do. But even if he killed all of them, that still doesn't make him part of the Alpha Pack, not unless he chooses to be. And I don't think he will, I think he'd actually prefer the alternative.

[skybluejeep]

God, I hope you're right. We're right. Right now, that feels impossible.

Also, that Scott is all gung-ho about telling Dad about werewolves is really freaking me out. I want him...to stay normal. To stay safe. And he's gonna be so damn pissed off. Hnnnnngh sucks.

[runboyrun]

If I'm right, the Alpha Pack are going to try and kill him. Kali's been itching to do it. I just hope he's actually gonna fight back, because the way he looked after Boyd... Yeah.

Damned right he's gonna be pissed. Think he'd let us out of house arrest in time to graduate?

[excessive]

You can and you will. All we can do.

[runboyrun]

[He just blinks a moment, unbelievably touched. Isaac cares.]

...Thanks for the... that was a vote of confidence, right?

[excessive]

[Isaac is clinging, in his own kind of crazy way. Which means insisting people pull on their big boy panties and keep going.]

Yeah, that's what it was. Not the first time our lives have gone to hell, so we do what we have to.

//So sorry. My phone is a poop-face and posted my reply as a separate comment.

[runboyrun]

[Stiles appreciates the clinging, kind of a lot.]

Yeah, I know. Just need a moment to not be okay, you know?

Re: //So sorry. My phone is a poop-face and posted my reply as a separate comment.

[excessive]

I worry... [He almost hates admitting this. By almost that is entirely hates.] I worry if I start not being okay, I won't ever stop.

[runboyrun]

[His face sort of crumples a little bit.]

Yeah, I get that. Makes sense. But when you used to suffer from crippling panic attacks, you learn to take five before you go into complete nuclear meltdown, you know?

[He doesn't mention that he still feels them rising inside of him from time to time, the black terror. But he does lean over and awkwardly give Isaac's forearm a squeeze.]

The thing is, you can't always be okay. We fall down, and we break, and yeah, it's the worst feeling in the world. But we get back up again. Or someone pulls us up again. So, if you're ever not okay, that's okay. Which I know is me totally abusing te English language but I know what I mean.

[excessive]

Don't give me that look, Stiles. I said sometimes I worry about it, not that it would happen.

[He knew he has to hold it together. For himself. For the pack, Stilinski included. He couldn't be the weak link, even if he fears he is.]

But yeah, I know exactly what that's like but it's not like this. Not for me. That was... [He shakes his head. That was small boxes and punishment and failing his father. He hasn't yet gotten bad enough to feel that way from Derek and possibly disappointing him. Not yet.]

Stiles, I can't afford to not be okay. Derek isn't stable enough on his own. Who am I going to turn to? It's not like with you and Scott, where you have one another. I've got me. Everyone else I relied on is gone.

[runboyrun]

[And this is where it gets uncomfortable.]

Hey. I know I'm not part of the super-special werewolf club, but... I've been here. The whole time. And I don't know if you noticed, but once I count someone as important to me, there's pretty much nothing I won't do for them.

And you're just blind and dumb if you don't see how much Scott cares about you. Because that's some intense bromancing he's doing.

I'd say he's mooning over you, but I'd have to punch myself in the face.