On being distractionary.

[pragmaticality]

Yeah, yeah. Sorry to be the one to break it to you, boss, but I really don't care if some person neither of us is that involved with throws or doesn't throw in some girl I never met into some place neither of us are in.

But what the hell. I'll play along. So what now?

Comments

[redtyrant]

Hm, what's this? You've finally found some way to make some use of yourself after all?

[pragmaticality]

Well, look who it is. You know, I've seen plenty of your Master around. Maybe I should do you a favor, find one, and see if I can...convince her to use a command seal.

[notpeterparker]

A-am I the girl you're referring to...?

[pragmaticality]

You heard the part about some girl I never met, right?

[notpeterparker]

Well yes, but I thought it'd be rude if you were talking about me and I didn't even introduce myself.

[pragmaticality]

...'kay. [...and then he mentally shrugged. Because it was no big deal to him. But whatever floats her boat/lights her fire/splits her arrow/paddles her canoe/etc etc you get the gist.] So, besides the obvious, who are you?

[bbchannel]

You've learned to not be so demanding, Mr. Green Archer? I'm surprised~!

[She calls him "ミドアーチャさん" in CCC, best approach to the translation, although the original had a condescending connotation]

start, I'll let you know when I'm done;

[pragmaticality]

You-

[pragmaticality]

[Wait, why is the boss weeping over Japanese textbooks all of a sudden?]

[pragmaticality]

[Why did the aforementioned boss make a note to hunt down...well, D: icons.]

[pragmaticality]

[Actually, there's a lot that's wrong. The tone of familiarity. The sudden promised pending taco meme where he can just chill and not have to worry about work and responsibility and Grumperella being himself (assuming that the aforementioned Grumperella shows up, but his Master is way too serious to be caught around here), as if there was something that needed to be apologized for. The nickname used. Green Archer. So condescending. Who'd voluntarily want to be called Green Archer? The only thing worse would be something like Green Bow or Green Arrow.

It's hard to pin down the exact feeling as it's too indistinct to be considered proper dread, too meta to normally apply, and yet substantial enough that it is a thing. Approach with delicacy it said. Handle this with care it said. Use stealth, not the head on tactics that someone who'll remain unnamed had a thing for.]

NOT HERE

[shotup]

[PFFT YEAH GREEN ARROW, THE LAMEST EVER AMIRITE?]

ALSO NO- WELL, HERE, BUT NOT HERE HERE. META HERE.

[pragmaticality]

[Only thing worse would be Aquaman or something like Shazam. If he had to go through a war being called Shazam all the damn time he'd throw the first round and be done with it.]

:')

[shotup]

[Let's be real here. Arm Fall Off Boy still takes the cake. But then again, can a guy who went by the alias Speedy until he was well into his twenties really judge anybody else for their failsome superhero name choices?]

o/

[pragmaticality]

[A guy he fought sincerely calls himself a Hero of Justice, but he's offensively narcissistic so it's to be expected that he'd find that sort of title cool. And that's not even getting into the names of some of the various Noble Phantasms in his canon.

There's worse names to be had than Speedy (although it is pretty bad), comrade.]

[reckoncourse]

[Now all y'all just hold your horses for a sec. Those all sound like plenty sensible names to me. A name's gotta be easy to remember and have flair to it, right? Like Lotta Hart, or Ini Miney, Dick Gumshoe, Matt Enguarde...nothin' wrong with names like that!]

[pragmaticality]

[. . . (unsure)]

finish;

[pragmaticality]

[But you know what? Who gives a fuck.]

The request wasn't that much of a pain in the ass compared to some I had to deal with. And fortunately for me, I don't have to deal with my Master here. No frontal assaults, no sense of nobility, no talks about pride...

[bbchannel]

[She's silent, toying with what seems to be a noble phantasm magical-wand crossover with whip, lightly tapping a hand while her lips tug into an impish smile. A knowing-it-all expression.

Just who did you have to deal with in the past, Green Archer? She doesn't ask, but her eyebrows lift when he clarifies his reason.]

To be frank, I didn't expect you to just cooperate so readily. [ She seizes him with her gaze, she's always been expressive. Like a talk show hostess. That's how she ruled, in her kinder days. When he brings up his Master, her grin seems to deepen.

To tease or not to tease. Fortunately, she's left her days of true cruelty behind with her conclusion, but no one gets hurt with a little teasing, right? Right, Senpai?

She just can't resist.]

Fufu~ I see. It's not like you wanted to be honorable or anything, right? [ She dusts her cloak as she hums her answer. How was that word again? Tsundere? That's how she's labeling him.]

[pragmaticality]

[He didn't just readily agree to it. He had his own reasons and happened to be in the area at the time. D-don't get the wrong idea at all! Baka!

Anyway. Honorable. Honorable.]

'course not. Do I look like the sort of guy who'd have a thing for being honorable? [Grump.] Ugh. And unlike some people I know, even if I did I'd at least keep it in my pants when other people were around.

[bbchannel]

Ooh? [She taps her chin again with the edge of her unusual weapon.] I wasn't trying to imply your heart longs to be like that old man.
[Lies! ♥]

That would be simply too scandalous ~☆~ and unfitting to your rogue image, Mr. Green Archer~

[Don't ask how the stars and other cutesy stuff show up in her dialogue. The great mushroom Nasu allows it.]

Though I'm disappointed you don't remember me.

[pragmaticality]

[He'd ask why the boss chose that moment to stare, forlornly, at Japanese Rosetta Stone whilst wiping away one single crystalline tear, but at this point he's just going to assume he doesn't want to know and that his mun is weird and just move on.

It seems safest. And yeah, now that it's been brought up, that does seem to be a...weird stick-slash-riding crop-slash-pointer she's got.

Don't remember her...? ...]

Hah. I'd say you're- [What was her name, what was her name, what was her name.] ...the girl from the nurse's office but there's a couple of obvious differences.

...

Aha! I know. I took out your Master in a different war and now you're here to get revenge. [This is clearly bullshit.]

[ethereal_earth]

[She's just... going to stare at him in confusion for a moment.]

Wh-what?

You're still not Ambi.

[pragmaticality]

Wh-what what? The boss wanted an intervention and a guy's gotta unwind somehow.

No I am not. :C

[ethereal_earth]

An intervention?

This all sounds very complicated.

Well. I don't know what to say to this.

[pragmaticality]

It's pretty simple. Somebody needed to be distracted. The boss figured I should do the distracting. She's been calling it an intervention, but just between you and me I think she'd call getting a sandwich an intervention for her stomach.