upon contemplating apping to mylittlejamjar

[personalgentlepony]

I see what you mean, madam. Mr Wooster does seem to be "in over his head," doesn't he?

Comments

[tinkertytonk]

Not a bit, Jeeves! I can fly now. Awfully hard to get in over the head when you can just pop up above the clouds. I think the salient question - if salient is the word I want - is if you're ready for this four-legged number.

[personalgentlepony]

I am sure that I will manage, sir.

And Miss Fluttershy?

[tinkertytonk]

Er... well, I'm sure she can manage herself, old boy! Self-sufficient sort of beazel. More or less.

And the young master's become rather self-sufficient in the interim, as well. [A masterful segue if ever there was spoke.] Now, I don't want you to go thinking there isn't a place for you in my entourage, but I've become pretty well adapted to the Bohemian lifestyle. I've picked artichokes.

[personalgentlepony]

Ah.

Do you not wish to employ me in Equestria, then, sir?

[swishywizard]

If he's anything like the Bertie Wooster I I know, you'll be doing the whole place a huge favour, darling.

Just keep him away from, er. Any narcotics.

[tinkertytonk]

What? No! No no no! No! I mean, yes? I-I mean employment is fully and whole-heartedly upon the table, Jeeves. Stacked up on the very best china with Uncle Tom's entire silver collection ready and waiting for use in the thing should you so choose. There is a minor matter in that quarter, though.

I don't appear to have my savings account here.

[personalgentlepony]

That is a dilemma, sir. I suppose I could keep track of unpaid wages and you could relinquish the lump sum once we've return to London.

[personalgentlepony]

I had no idea Mr Wooster was an acquaintance of yours... [A slight hesitation, wherein Jeeves assesses Jay's gender] sir.

[tinkertytonk]

Oh. Oh, yes! Yes! That would work marvelously. I mean, I have been earning some money. Fetching and flying about, you know? And what's mine is yours, of course. Actually, that rather seems to be a theme where I'm living at the moment.

Bear with me, Jeeves. There are really smashing ponies living here. Birds and beazels from all sorts of universes! It's, well. Do you remember when Bingo was on about that communist girl?

[personalgentlepony]

Only too well, sir.

[stormbroken]

Like you wouldn't believe. Lives on a hippie farm now. Grows artichokes. Is apparently the leader of a town militia, with a girlfriend and a fiancée who are apparently best friends.

Me and a few others have bets running on how long it takes before he actually learns any bit of street smarts.

[One of these statements is a lie, and several others are half-truths.]

[tinkertytonk]

Right. Brilliant! Knew that fish-fed brain of yours wouldn't lose the details. Hah.

I'm living on a commune.

[personalgentlepony]

A girlfriend and a fiancée, madam? Not two fiancées?

[It's happened before.]

[personalgentlepony]

Indeed sir.

[The look on his face is definitely of a brothly nature.]

[tinkertytonk]

[Bertie recognizes that soupy look. One could hardly forget it.]

Oh, look, I know it isn't ideal, old thing. But it's very, well, communal. Braces the spirit to be amongst chums!

There's a... chores list, though. They put me on it.

[personalgentlepony]

Oh dear.







You are still on this list? [If so, Jeeves' initial estimation of the fellow commune dwellers' intelligence, already not high, will sink even lower.]

[stormbroken]

As far as I know, he's only proposed to one.

You ask me, the other one's the one he'd be happier courtin', seems more his type, real girly-girl shrinking violet. But, eh, no accounting for taste and all that.

[personalgentlepony]

[Clearly Jeeves is needed in Equestria.]

Tell me about these fillies.

[tinkertytonk]

They put me in charge of irrigation. Between that and the guard, I feel as though I've been worked to the bone. How do you manage it, Jeeves? All this hard work.

[stormbroken]

Like I said, one's a shy little thing, delicate waif, I haven't seen her around much, but what I've seen reminds me of an old friend back home. She works with the local smaller animals right on the edge of the forest, real Snow White type.

As far as the one he's engaged to... nnh.

[Visible discomfort. How to describe Pinkie Pie.]

I've never actually seen them together, but the tabloids keep hinting at it. She's the... real social butterfly type, has to be everypony's friend, but not in the same way as Bertie. Less British, more party-oriented. Actually seems to know her way out of a wet paper bag, unlike your ward.

[personalgentlepony]

I endeavor to do my best sir. [There's that soupy look back.]

Irrigation, sir? Forgive me, I wasn't aware you possessed any knowledge on the subject.

[swishywizard]

[Jay noticed the hesitation. Don't think he didn't. He's pulling a displeased face.]

That is one way to put it, darling. Not entirely accurate, but ... close enough, I suppose.

[tinkertytonk]

I didn't. Steepish learning curve, though. Positively perpendicular. I mean, it's really just bouncing about on clouds for a bit and shoving them where Vantas tells me, but it's the principle of the thing, Jeeves!

I thought about working for ages, but I never imagined I'd get stuck doing it. Do you know they make everypony get up at the un-Godly hour of eight in the ack emma? We're growing artichokes. I hardly think they're going to run off anywhere if we leave it till 11:00!

[personalgentlepony]

Farms do tend to run on strict schedules, sir.

[personalgentlepony]

He isn't my ward, madam. He's my employer. I am Mr Wooster's valet.