amatomnes

[placeintheworld]

...So that's your decision? Instead of getting to - and I use the term loosely, "Heal", you're going to just take me off the island and bring me back as a younger version of myself?

Because facing the consequences of what you and your buddies have planned without knowing why I did it is going to give me a chance to defend myself how exactly?

[he pauses] "That's not me. I wouldn't do that." yeah okay. Here I thought you were super excited about this opportunity.

[No Lindsey. not with what you want to do right now, what the writer wants. He sighs.] You know losing but Eve and Darla and Sookie and everything else is going to hurt like hell right?

How the hell is that supposed to make me happy?

Comments

[pinball_reset]

Look at it this way...you might be a little more tolerable.

[placeintheworld]

More naive.

Doesn't seem like I should consider that. At all.

[pinball_reset]

Oh, but naivety can be so much fun.

[placeintheworld]

Sure. Highway robbery, letting myself get manipulated.

[pinball_reset]

I might not throw a fit at you bein' with Sookie though. Maybe.

[placeintheworld]

...If she still wants me.

Ava. I mean it. Here without any rules - tell me. Tell me truthfully. Why do you hate me so much?

[pinball_reset]

Truthfully?

Some of the things you do or say remind me to much of my late husband.

[placeintheworld]

[He's very quiet]

Bad man?

[pinball_reset]

[Were they not here, he wouldn't be learning anything about her past.

Quiet for a moment, she shakes her head.]

Not all the time...just when he decided to take his frustrations out on me.

[placeintheworld]

[Lindsey's father once upon a time had frustrations. He liked to take them out on his wife and children.

The fact that he is being compared to someone like that hurts. Visibly.

He would not show that - if they were not here.]

I hope the son of a bitch ended up dead.

[pinball_reset]

He did...I made sure of it.

Waited 'til he had his mouth full of dinner, all his favorites, shot him with his own deer rifle.

[placeintheworld]

[Lindsey lowers his gaze before looking up at her and nodding mutely.] good for you.

[pinball_reset]

I went through more than fifteen years of that...I don't want to see Sookie go through the same.

Bowman would've killed me sooner or later, didn't no one even try to save me, had to do it myself.

[placeintheworld]

That's not me.

[pinball_reset]

You think I would've married him if he beat me when we were datin'? I can't believe you won't turn out like that. I'm sorry.

[placeintheworld]

That was my father. The hell would I want to turn out like him for?

[pinball_reset]

[She's silent as she thinks on that.]

I'm sorry 'bout your father. I don't wish that treatment on anyone...but that's a risk I wouldn't be willin' to take.

[placeintheworld]

[He is about to respond - more denials - but all he can think about is how frustrated his father was over his music career going south and how his children paid the price for his ambition.

...That combined with Sookie's blind trust, Eve's faith is enough to disquiet him and for the first time since she's known him he doesn't have a denial. Instead he's quiet and he puts his head in his hands and there's a noise of pure emotion.]

[After a moment he's composed himself and he looks at her - emotionless.]

...I'm sorry about your ex-husband.

[something like regret crosses his features]

[pinball_reset]

Thank you.

[She had the decency to acknowledge he had a hard life too and no one deserved someone like that in their lives.]

I've got Boyd now...he'd cut off his own hand before he ever hit me though.

[placeintheworld]

[Lindsey's hand slides to his left wrist. He flips it up and stare at it and if Ava is watching him - making sure he's not doing anything dangerous. There's a scar on his left wrist.]

Tell him to burn it off or tie himself up. Cutting off hands can leave a lot to be desired.

[pinball_reset]

[Her eyes are glued to his wrist, a frown marring her face as she looked at it.]

...What'd you do?

[Not that she...you know. Cared. At least she'd never admit it.]

[placeintheworld]

...I nearly killed a woman. Because I thought that it was the right thing to do.

I was wrong. And because of it I lost my hand. I lost my music. I lost a sense of who I was until the same people who told me that killing a woman was the right thing to do gave me a new hand.

Trying to...buy me.

[pinball_reset]

You nearly killed a woman...so maybe I was right. What if you decided Sookie should die for some reason? Would you hurt her too?

I need to know, Lindsey.

[placeintheworld]

No!

It's different now!

[but that is neither yes or no]

[pinball_reset]

Why?!

[She can get loud too.]

How long would she be safe? Forever or until she forgot to fill a damn ice tray?!

[placeintheworld]

[Lindsey glares at her] I'm not that stupid - I understand what she's doing for me I wouldn't do that!

[pinball_reset]

I don't believe you.

I would've never thought Bowman would've beat me either, that he'd not believe me when I told him his brother wanted me...you go and tell me you tried to kill a woman and want me to believe you'd never hurt Sookie? How stupid d'you think I am?

[kayleefrye]

Somebody told me once that you can't miss what you don't got. But the best thing to do is always what you think is gonna work best. If you can be happy after what you're gonna do where you are, then go for it.

But I think I'd be real worried about you if you could.

[placeintheworld]

Be worried -

[Lindsey looks pained] I just want to go home. [back to Eve, back to a life that he understands back to...]

...Or maybe everyone's right there's no saving me after all that. [sadly he doesn't sound out much like he cares either way]

[kayleefrye]

If you could do what you're gonna do and be happy after, I ... don't know what kinda man could do that. [she worries her lower lip; torn between believing everyone should have a second chance and the enormity of what he's going to be doing.]

There's savin' for near everyone. I believe in that much. It's all about what we want most of all, though. And goin' home.. that ain't an option for any of us just now. And makin' people here miserable sure ain't gonna fix that.

[placeintheworld]

Either way Kaylee I'd still want to go home. It's just a question of wanting to go home when I can protect myself or wanting to go home when I can't.

I lost everything. And I'm fixing to do it again because of this...this crazy woman not knowing what to do with me. I lost my girlfriend, I lost my other girlfriend, I lost -

[He does smile at the next line] I left my job.

I'm tired of having nothing. And she swears that if I play it right I can get something back. Something good. And I damn well better be able to.

...I don't want to be like that.

[kayleefrye]

Then don't. Make things good for you, Lindsey. Everyone deserves to be happy. Just think sometimes folks get that confused with deservin' to have happy handed to you is all.

[placeintheworld]

[he slumps]

Kaylee I've been trying to do that for all my life. And somehow I just keep doing it wrong.

Nothing I can do about it. It just gets... [old. boring. sad.] monotonous, after awhile. Losing.

[kayleefrye]

You doin' it for you? Or for someone else?

[placeintheworld]

For me.

Cause everbody else keeps letting me down! My family, my job, my friends - Darla left me. Eve ... [Eve did care for him. He did not care for her] I used her.

...I go back I get to try again I get that. Here's hoping the writer does something right but all I want is...

[He can say it right? Maybe? Because at one point he would have said power, wealth, fortune. And that need burns in him but if he goes back...]

All I'll want ...is what Leckie has.

...Mansion with nice people inside it just for me. So I'm not alone anymore. And I can give um' the life they deserve.

[kayleefrye]

I think you can get it. [she smiles]

But before that, you gotta decide what you really want. You said you wanna go home more than anything; what happens if you get what he got? You meet a nice lady, get married, have a family, circle of real good friends ... that you'll never see again if you go home.

[placeintheworld]

That ship's sailing.

[His tone is cold] You can't stop that. I just won't be able to quit the island I guess and have to face the consequences of my actions twice. Being punished for what I'll do and realizing what a bastard I'll become.

...It's not entirely my fault Kaylee.

I'm not saying that to earn sympathy. It's just that when a man is responsible for his own actions that's fine. No one ever accounts for environment. What makes them who they are.

It's not entirely my fault.

Besides i'd...I'd much rather forget that I end up in Hell if it's all the same to those concerned. Chose to stay if I get that chance.