yay fourth wall events :') itp: sirius black abusing italics

[pooroldsnuffles]

Three days into Azkaban? You're dropping me off there three days into Azkaban, with Lily and James alive, and you expect me to ever want to leave? You're completely off your rocker, aren't you?

And no, we don't need more Slytherins. I reckon Regulus and the Malfoy kid are going to be more than enough, thanks.

Comments

[pooroldsnuffles]

Bed you made a little itchy to lie in, Reg?

[ oh shut up, sirius. as if you have any room to speak at all. ]

[horcruxed]

Says the man in Azkaban for life.

[Wow rude, Sirius.]

[pooroldsnuffles]

Rather be a man in Azkaban who can live with my decisions instead of a boy out who can't.

[ Prickly, prickly. ]

[horcruxed]

You made stupid decisions. 'Living' with them just proves that you haven't learned your lesson.

[He shrugs.]

It's only been three days. I suppose there's still time for you to regret it. You're there for the rest of your life, after all.

[pooroldsnuffles]

You're convinced that there's a prison out there that can hold me, are you?

[horcruxed]

Nobody's ever escaped from Azkaban, you idiot.

[pooroldsnuffles]

[ And suddenly Sirius's expression is very, very solemn. ]

Yet. No one has escaped from Azkaban yet.

[horcruxed]

Please. You're barely out of school. What's an eighteen year old going to do against a hoard of dementors on an island in the middle of the ocean with no wand?

[pooroldsnuffles]

Oh, will you for once just shut up and stop pretending you know everything there is to know about the world? Alternatively, just sit on your hands and wait. You won't have to wait long - I'll show you.

[horcruxed]

So sorry I won't be at your homecoming party.

[Almost boredly.]

I had a previous arrangement.

[pooroldsnuffles]

[ He'll match the bored tone, almost petulant himself. ]

My little heart shall never recover from this disappointment.

[horcruxed]

You're a right prat, Sirius.

[He sighs.]

And you're never going to escape.

[pooroldsnuffles]

Dementors aren't going to stop me, Regulus. Not now, not ever.

[horcruxed]

You know what they do to people who try to escape, don't you?

[pooroldsnuffles]

I never said anything about 'try.' There's not going to be a chance for failure when I make my break.

[horcruxed]

I'd hope not. Or else your soul winds up in one of their stomachs.

[pooroldsnuffles]

I spent how many years under Mother's ever-watchful eye? The Dementors haven't got a thing against the Most Noble and Constipatedly Self-Righteous House Of Black.

[horcruxed]

Don't be an idiot.

[He huffs.]

I'm going to hex you the instant I see you there.

[pooroldsnuffles]

With what magic, baby brother?

[horcruxed]

[-urp.]

...don't call me that.

[pooroldsnuffles]

Afraid to be associated with me now that I'm a convicted criminal?

[horcruxed]

Ashamed to be associated with a blood traitor.

[pooroldsnuffles]

Poor thing. What a difficult life you must lead.

[horcruxed]

It'd be a lot easier if you'd just died.

[pooroldsnuffles]

[ His expression shutters immediately, and Sirius just stares at him for a moment. ]

We'll see if the dementors grant you your wish, then.