はたけ・カカシ 「HATAKE KAKASHI」 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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dear_mun2013-06-19 05:07 pm
ura_no_ura) wrote in dear_mun2013-06-19 05:07 pmEntry tags:
ura_no_ura) wrote in dear_mun2013-06-19 05:07 pm
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there's a million things on her mind, a million responses ranging from letting stubborn tears trail down her face to grabbing the lapels of his vest and shaking him so hard his brain rattles. but all she manage is this]
...Why?
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It's what I have to do.
[ Sacrificing himself to save Obito.
And the rest of the world.
With the only way he has left. ]
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Alone. Even if she understands, intimately, what it's like to want to take on the burden of stopping a wayward teammate and being on the receiving end of a blow. But she couldn't save him.
She's sick of this. First Naruto and now Kakashi? Teeth audibly click shut and the shimmering in her eyes hardens.]
There's no reason for you to shoulder this all on your own.
We're a team...right, sensei?
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And Obito was -- no, is -- perhaps the one teammate who meant everything. Even if Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai hold a large piece of his heart, and he would do anything to save them, no one quite compares to who and what Obito means to Kakashi. And that is not something he would expect anyone to understand.
Except, perhaps, Obito.
Kakashi knows he won't regret this, because it means saving them all. His own life is small and inconsequential compared to all the lives out there, outside of Kamui, outside of the only left that he and Obito still share. His life does not mean very much in comparison with what's at stake. He should not even really be alive, anyway. He's lived on borrowed time since the moment that rock fell, and all the while Obito was trying to find a way back to Rin. To undo what Kakashi did with Rin's heart in his hand. ]
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Smiling is what Kakashi does best, after all. Smiling, when there is nothing to smile about, but perhaps it's just what Sakura needs to see right now. Kakashi's smile that says everything will be alright, even when things are so very wrong. ]
This is teamwork, Sakura.
[ Says very gently. ]
In time, you'll come to understand.
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...No, this is stopping someone before they become more of a monster.
[Understanding, accepting, helping, and loving within forgiveness is Sakura's strength.]
So you should understand how I feel too.
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Obito is his responsibility.
And this is his penance for failing him. For failing Rin. For not being able to protect what mattered most. ]
This is something only I can do.
[ Not only as a shinobi of Konoha, or as a former member of Team Minato, but as a man who lives only because of Obito's sacrifice in the first place. ]
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Of course only you can do it because you're the only one stuck in that dimension with him and you won't allow anyone to--!
[A hiss of a breath and her bones creak as she clenches a fist.]
I thought that too, you know.
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Mm, I'm sure you did. But this is different.
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How?
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He-- Why would he...? The Sharingan is the pride of the Uchiha clan.
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Ever.
But maybe he'll make an exception, this time. ]
It was... a long time ago. During the Third Great Ninja War.
Back then... he was different. A lot like Naruto, actually. He was my teammate... and my best friend, or the closest thing I had to one at the time. We were on a mission, on our teammate was kidnapped... While saving her, I lost left eye and my depth perception, so I didn't notice that a rock was falling, and he sacrificed himself to save me by taking the hit instead. [ Kakashi is quiet as he explains, recounting a past he's lived with for far too long. ] The rock was too heavy for me to move, and the entire right side of his body was crushed. We knew we couldn't save him. But...before we lost him -- [ he doesn't say before he died because Obito didn't die, after all ] he gave me his eye as a gift.
He said he wanted to live on to see the future through me.
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She doesn't know how to respond to that other that other than the offhand remark of how generous a gift that was. She's sure that won't help anything and it's sort of pointless to say anyway.
So she says nothing for a long time.]
What was the gift for?
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It was my first day as a jounin.
[ The words are as heavy as they are quiet. ]
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[She doesn't understand, exactly, but she is making an effort. Because that's what one does, right? Something like that. Besides, they all know they're gonna go out eventually... how you do it matters though, so. She makes the effort to understand being ready to go and can't quite get there, but at least she's making the effort. More than she'd do for some people, anyway.]
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[ There's a part of Kakashi that wants it to be over, that just wants it all to end. He's wanted this for so long that it's almost a relief it's here now. Or at least, that he thinks it is. And if it's going to end like this, he can't think of a more fitting way to go. He could at least do one meaningful thing with his failure of a life and save everyone he loves, including Obito. ]
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[ The truth: Kakashi's just so tired.
He's exhausted, really.
The idea of it all ending seems... merciful, somehow. ]
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I guess that's up for fate to decide, huh? You never know.
Could be you'll still see him come to his ambition. He deserves a teacher at his side when that comes, you know.
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[ And when it comes down to it, Kakashi's not sure if he deserves to actually survive this when it seems that he's the very root of Obito's self-destruction, which has brought about so much loss. ]
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Even if you've got nothing left to teach him, the bond between teacher and student doesn't vanish so easily.
[Says the man who's almost as bad at managing bonds as Kakashi is.]
I'm sure he's got a different estimation of your life's value.
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[Minato trails off as he feels this unfathomable ache within his chest. Obito "dies" to save Kakashi. Rin dies in Kakashi's hands to save the village. Obito ruins the family he yearned for. And now, Kakashi dying in Obito's hands while there's a possibility of Obito also dying in his hands.
His expression tightens to that of pain. This isn't the peace he dreamed for his village, for his loved ones.]
I should have been there to intervene.
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[ Obito is far too broken. Words can't reach him anymore. And if Kakashi couldn't reach him, he's rather certain Minato wouldn't be able to either. They lost Obito when that rock fell, and no amount of words can bring him back because he refuses to listen. ]
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Even if it might be a drop of waning light amid the increasingly growing obscurity.]
Still. I can help you reason out with him.
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[ This goal has taken the lives of tens of thousands of shinobi, so many bodies that there won't be enough earth to bury them all. And Obito might say it has nothing to do with Rin, and even less to do with Kakashi, but Kakashi knows the truth: he's the reason why Obito's so broken, and there is no vocabulary that exists which can possibly change that fact. ]
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That may be so, but don't think you're the sole reason for Obito's descent to darkness, Kakashi.
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Don't do this to yourself. I'm also to blame since I'm his sensei. [We all played a role in his descent. Even if Minato's one who advises Kakashi not to take all the burden, he rarely follows his own advice.]
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[You see, Kakashi? We're going to go in circles here. Don't shoulder everything.]
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[Yes. She's going for guilt, because she's not sure what else to do.]
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Kakashi's brow furrows as he bows his head. ]
This is war, Sakura. Sacrifices have to be made.
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She frowns right back.]
You don't just...happily make a sacrifice though. That's giving up, not sacrificing yourself.
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