sort-of voice-test for a sort-of oc.

[scryinghope]

Please don't.

Yes, I know that won't stop you. I don't even need to be in your head to know that. I also happen to know that a little bit of pleading will at least make you feel guilty while you put me through all the things you're planning.

You see? It worked. At least now I can suffer with the petty vindictiveness of knowing that a fictional character made you feel bad. I'm like that on occasion.

Comments

[scryinghope]

The only thing he has to worry about is how badly they prank him back.

[skeletonenigma]

Has anyone managed to outprank him yet?

[scryinghope]

Lazarus. Apparently he managed to hustle three thousand years' worth of favours out of Raphael while playing dice. Naturally, Rover needed to test his mettle.

[skeletonenigma]

And what was the result?

[scryinghope]

It took Rover four years to dig his way out from being buried in a cumulonimbus.

[skeletonenigma]

Better than two thousand years of favours, at least.

[scryinghope]

Actually it's four thousand. He should have known better than to hustle a hustler, especially a hustler who's spent the last two thousand years hustling angels.

[skeletonenigma]

Should I ask why you didn't try to stop him?

[scryinghope]

Well, I couldn't just sit around and watch you lot all day, every day, for the next six hundred years, could I?

[skeletonenigma]

Why not? I'm a fascinating study.

[scryinghope]

I'd have gotten bored of watching you make the same mistake over and over. That or been reduced to throwing peanuts at you.

[skeletonenigma]

The same mistake? What mistake? I don't make mistakes.

[scryinghope]

The mistake wherein you mentally insist you're unworthy of your friends.

[skeletonenigma]

You can't read my mind. Just close your eyes and pretend I'm a perfectly well-adjusted and emotionally healthy human being. In fact, pretend every human being is like that. The world would become such a peaceful place.

[scryinghope]

Up until they start acting like perfectly badly-adjusted and emotionally unhealthy human beings.

[skeletonenigma]

You can always pretend they're acting.

[scryinghope]

Then I'd have to ask more questions. Like why they're acting. I'm a detective too, Skulduggery. Just a more specialised one than you are.

[skeletonenigma]

Well, if you're refusing to live in blissful ignorance, then you can hardly blame anyone else for your dissatisfaction, can you?

[scryinghope]

When did I say I'm blaming anyone else? I'm assuaging my dissatisfaction by watching Rover make a fool of himself. Even the angels have started laying bets.

[skeletonenigma]

Refresh my memory. Wasn't Heaven supposed to be a peaceful paradise free of all conflict and hardship?

[scryinghope]

'Supposed to be'? Skulduggery. Wherever are you getting the idea that it isn't?

[skeletonenigma]

You know, I'm not sure. Perhaps from the peanut-throwing. Or the fact that Rover had to take four years to dig himself out of a really thick cloud. Or that you're reluctant to run into Metatron, or to have Metatron find out who's really been stealing all his quills, or that when Rover crossed him he was strung up and publicly embarrassed on the Pearly Gates. Where was I supposed to get the idea that it was?

[scryinghope]

The part where we're obviously having the time of our afterlives, aside from the nagging reminder of unfinished business back on Earth.

[skeletonenigma]

What unfinished business? You're dead. We can handle the rest.

[scryinghope]

Yes, you're handling it all with extreme grace and fortitude. Say hello to Dexter for us.