testing his voice.

[mallories]

( Drily: )

I'd rather you didn't.

Comments

[deskjob]

I'm afraid that won't be sufficient to convince anyone, sir. Not in this.

[mallories]

I didn't think so. And I'm nowhere near fond of her to try.

Perhaps if I had my other arm.

( he's joking. sort of. )

[deskjob]

I'd offer a hand, sir, if I thought it would make a difference.

[ sort of joking works for her. ]

[mallories]

You are plenty of help already.

( you are the only person he probably has a soft spot for in this godforsaken office, eve. probably. )

If only you could sign my paperwork for me as well, I'd gladly live on without any more complaints.

[wetware]

If only that worked. _

[mallories]

And yet no one seemed inclined to figure out what does work.

[wetware]

Now, now, just because we don't yet have a working method doesn't mean we can't try. A little support and enthusiasm for a judicious bit of sabotage wouldn't go amiss. _

[mallories]

The fact that you would put "judicious" and "sabotage" in the same sentence already tells me that it would hardly work on your favour, or anyone else's for that matter.

[lastrat]

Let me know how that works, won't you?

[mallories]

You flatter me with your concern, Bond.

[lastrat]

I'm afraid it's purely self-serving. I've been saying 'I'd rather you didn't' for half a year, now.

[mallories]

( can you hear him mentally eyerolling )

Well then, that tells me that I have less than 180 days left until I reach your level of enthusiasm. Shall I pour the scotch while I wait for the inevitable?

[thehellwithdignity]

[ judging the absolute hell out of you, sir ]

[mallories]

( but :c )

Then again, I suppose none of us do. Am I wrong?

[thehellwithdignity]

[ it's what she do, bro. ]

I'm sure Mr. Bond would prefer the contrary. [ which might sound a little like god damn it, james. ] I would think retirement would suit you as well as it does me.

[mallories]

I'm sure he does.

( well, if anything, they agree on that. )

That's yet to be decided, I'm afraid, although the odds seem to be working in your favour in that regard.

[lastrat]

I'd prefer a beach, actually. [This is untrue, but he is practically trained to respond to 'god damn it, james' with trolling and subtle rudeness.]

[firstcup]

But... [ but not, that's clearly wrong. he isn't mistaken, he is obviously supposed to explain -- at length -- how this thingamadoodle works. it was on his google calendar. ]

[mallories]

( yes. yes, he should be.

which makes his raised eyebrows in your direction all the more significant, q. )

[firstcup]

[ omg no stahp. he is a delicate flower, he can't take all this stress. which is why he launches right into the most long winded explanation of what boils down to a friggin' laser pen. but a very sleek laser pen. that can make cats go batshit and blind a man from like six miles away or something equally absurd. it probably cuts glass and diamonds too, because q doesn't go half assed. when he's done he takes a breath. ]

I thought 007 could test it. [ because he might blind himself, here's hoping! ]

[mallories]

( mallory takes a breath, too. it's like the quiet sound of resignation when he realizes that this is literally his life now. )

I'm sure it'd be worth all the hard work that you've sacrificed to see him blasting it through walls.

[oedipusrat]

Only too familiar a sentiment, I'm afraid.

How is the arm, hm?

[mallories]

( ugh you )

Nothing I wouldn't recover from.

How is death?

[oedipusrat]

[It was only inevitable, really. Better late than never.]

A delightful little paradise. You should try it sometime! So very soothing to not have to care.

[mallories]

( he'd have chosen never, personally. but you can't win them all. )

Let's hold off on that thought for another thirty years or so.